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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "cheating Master" 1 2 3 4 5 cheating Master (48) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 5 Jul 09, 5:39 PM 284-122-181 US(MO), 2 yrs Y! The_Captain1974 wrote: I agree with the sentiments expressed by others. If he has violated the basic covenants of a Master, then he might never have been real or he simply has no honorable intent regarding them. A Master "worth his salt" establishes a contract, binding on both parties. If you signed one and it states in plain language, "I'll grab anything I want and tough luck for you, Susie", well, then you're stuck with the situation until your term is up. However, if his statements to you were on the order of "one and only", "only one of my dreams", "my Precious" (thanks to Tolkien there), You have a serious case for breach of contract (written or verbal). Often here in this mode, we foolishly go on faith in verbal contracts. I prefer a written contract and expect the use of a contract where all parties know what they're getting into AND how to get out. Therefore: Is a contract in effect? If so, what's in it? You may do the honorable thing and sit out the contract until its end, then gracefully say, "Thanks and goodbye" If not, your options are; a. Grab plane fare and head out smartly b. Your place? Demand the key back and in accordance with law have arrangements for the removal of his stuff (possibly on the sidewalk). A Master, a true Master, isn't one to act dishonorably and to disgrace his slave or sub. He acts honorably in all things and especially towards those in his care. If he doesn't consider a slave or sub as "in his care" then there's some issues that will come back again and again. So, is a "contract" of some sort in effect? If so, options? Are you bonded by a term? If so, is it up? If not, then when? Be prepared for heartache as you review these things. If you need advice, feel free to contact me and I'll review the situation based on facts presented. Take care. there was never a contract between the 2 of us he has never even mentioned one he was trained by a sub and she passed away and he just went on from there so he has never had proper training as a Master 6 Jul 09, 1:27 AM Ou_pais US, 5 yrs 284-122-181 wrote: there was never a contract between the 2 of us he has never even mentioned one he was trained by a sub and she passed away and he just went on from there so he has never had proper training as a Master You've said this before, and after your last post that mentioned it i wrote a whole long post that the computer promptly ate, but i'll try to recreate it, because i think it's still appropriate. It was something along the lines of: "How an M-type is trained or not trained does not necessarily have anything to do with how effective of an M-type s/he is and possibly even less to do with how decent of a human being s/he is. In this case it looks like your master is at least effective enough that you're still following at least some of his orders, and the problem you have is more about whether he is a decent, trust-worthy person with whom you are truly compatible. You seem like you're in a lot of pain and turmoil, but at least at first you also seemed like you knew, at some level, what would be best for you--getting out of the situation and raising your standards. But--i think many, if not most, of us s-types can be guilty of forgetting our standards and rushing into relationships because we want so badly to belong and to be serving another. So i hope you are able to hang on to and continue to access the knowledge you have now when you are pulled by other strong emotions." And the reason that i'm trying to repost it is this: i wonder what it says about your new M-type that he declares he loves you before he's even met you. To me, that doesn't sound like healthy boundaries or emotional maturity or even the kind of self-discipline that i believe is necessary to being an effective M-type. You are probably very lovable, but it takes *time* to develop a commitment to somebody because it takes time to develop trust. It takes time observing how they behave in a variety of situations in real life, not just how they interact one-on-one or in a virtual reality. Do you know what you really want in an owner or are you caught up in that common sub "rush" of wanting to belong so badly it's hard to look at the hand that's holding the collar because all you see is the collar? Believe me, been there, done that--and got hurt as a result. Sometimes no matter how badly we want something or think it's the right thing we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and think it over some more. Good luck! pais 6 Jul 09, 2:12 AM landstoree US(LA), 2 yrs Jealousy has a purpose - it is the emotion that warns you of a threat to your relationship with another person. Jealousy is the defender of love, and when you have love for another person, you will respond jealously to threats to that love. He took your collar away because you are jealous, and then tells you that your jealousy is not unfounded. This male is not behaving in a way that is healthy for you. A master's property is his to cherish and use as he sees fit. I consider the first rule to love and the second to use as I see fit. A slave trusts me enough to decide what is good for her, and that is a grave responsibility. Not some whim to treated as a this male is treating it. You can find a master who will love you enough that his use of you will benefit you both. 6 Jul 09, 2:26 AM 558-214-000 4 yrs i agree with you, 333-528-841. Wow, i am really amazed at some of the comments on this board. When did people in this community become so skeptical and unfriendly? The person that posted is obviously in turmoil. Yes, she did not post her whole experience with her current master (if we call him that) and then later mentions bits and pieces but it obvious she came to the board because she was upset and was seeking guidance/understanding. i know at least some of you have experienced low times in your life whether it was financial, emotional, mental or all. i know what it feels like to have no self confidence and not be able to leave a situation emotionally. That was the low time in my life. i didn't know where to turn to although i had many people to turn to. If no one has ever felt this they do not understand what its like. Compassion goes a long way. 284-122-181, you deserve better. You may not think so now but you will if you ever leave your current situation and heal. i know that you have friends so why not lean on them? That's what friends are for. i was in a bad situation for a couple of years. i knew it but the emotional abuse was so strong i could not leave until i was strong enough to go ahead and do it. Please do not waste anymore of your time, life is too short. and you can sit here and everyone can advise you to leave but you won't do it until YOU are ready to admit that you deserve a better way. Everyone used to tell me i deserved better - even people i didn't know. The more you tell yourself you deserve better the more you will believe it. Good luck to you. MasterBLUs_pet Written with permission of MasterBLU 7 Jul 09, 12:59 PM 284-122-181 US(MO), 2 yrs Y! Ou_pais wrote: 284-122-181 wrote: there was never a contract between the 2 of us he has never even mentioned one he was trained by a sub and she passed away and he just went on from there so he has never had proper training as a Master You've said this before, and after your last post that mentioned it i wrote a whole long post that the computer promptly ate, but i'll try to recreate it, because i think it's still appropriate. It was something along the lines of: "How an M-type is trained or not trained does not necessarily have anything to do with how effective of an M-type s/he is and possibly even less to do with how decent of a human being s/he is. In this case it looks like your master is at least effective enough that you're still following at least some of his orders, and the problem you have is more about whether he is a decent, trust-worthy person with whom you are truly compatible. You seem like you're in a lot of pain and turmoil, but at least at first you also seemed like you knew, at some level, what would be best for you--getting out of the situation and raising your standards. But--i think many, if not most, of us s-types can be guilty of forgetting our standards and rushing into relationships because we want so badly to belong and to be serving another. So i hope you are able to hang on to and continue to access the knowledge you have now when you are pulled by other strong emotions." And the reason that i'm trying to repost it is this: i wonder what it says about your new M-type that he declares he loves you before he's even met you. To me, that doesn't sound like healthy boundaries or emotional maturity or even the kind of self-discipline that i believe is necessary to being an effective M-type. You are probably very lovable, but it takes *time* to develop a commitment to somebody because it takes time to develop trust. It takes time observing how they behave in a variety of situations in real life, not just how they interact one-on-one or in a virtual reality. Do you know what you really want in an owner or are you caught up in that common sub "rush" of wanting to belong so badly it's hard to look at the hand that's holding the collar because all you see is the collar? Believe me, been there, done that--and got hurt as a result. Sometimes no matter how badly we want something or think it's the right thing we need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and think it over some more. Good luck! I do love my Master but I need more then what he gives I am wanting training so I will be the best slave I can be and it seems he doesn't have time for that I am not looking for a collar atm I am looking for a Master who has skills and patience to train and offer me guidance 22 Jul 09, 7:16 PM AmaraKitten 2 yrs Good luck with everything ^_^ ~ 882-240-119 [Proudly Owned By Mistress Lyn] 23 Jul 09, 12:32 AM cushlah UK, 4 yrs Kay_kay wrote: I/i agree with the others. his behavior is inappropriate and not that of a master. A real Master does not simply take away a collar and tell you that you will now be replaced because of jealousy. A real Master that wants a poly relationship would help you work through this jealousy and help you to get to know your new sister submissive. This twit (I/i just can't call someone like this a Master) decided 'hey, i'm goign to add this person without any consideration of my current commitments and i'm not even going to make it poly because i'm not going to let girl a meet girl b' he needs to get his act together before he ever deserves the title of Master or Sir again. Best vengence you can have, is kick him to the curb especially since, like was said before, he took your collar, you're released. Then let them have each other. she can't stay true to a rl collar and neither can he so it will only be a little time before he cheats on her and she does the same on him and they'll tear each other apart. Meanwhile, you go be with your friends, heal and realize that you deserve a real Master not some poser and go find Him. good advise. My Master did something similiar to this at the beginning of our relationship...added another sub in real life without my knowledge...............when i found out we had so many arguments and He did not want to listen, and He ignored her attempts to push me away from Him. But i couldn't find the courage to do so for so long and the pain was unbearable. Jealousy is hard to bear. Eventually i did try to leave and thankfully for me He realised He did not want to lose me. It has taken a long and hard journey to regain lost trust and embrace His poly status but now He supports me and helps me to cope. I was not collared at the time and would not have accepted His collar if He had offered when there was so much confusion between us. I am now collared, assured that i am primary and other subs will only be accepted if they befriend me first. My wellfare is paramount in His eyes. If your Master does not have what it takes to offer you respect then you must keep your self-respect and do what is best for you I wish you joy and love in your journey xx God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things i cannot change COURAGE to change the things i can and the WISDOM to know the difference Edited 15 May 10, 11:47 AM by cushlah 23 Jul 09, 12:54 AM cushlah UK, 4 yrs 284-122-181 wrote: there has never been a contract between my Master and myself he has never even mentioned one to me and the nite he took my collar he said I had to earn it back and he was very angry so I don't think he even remembers taking it from me cause he hasn't mentioned it since and I don't think he knows what a poly relationship is even though he has me and another girl plus a few girls online and the girl he likes online has never been in a poly relationship Sorry to post again but my first post was on just reading a few comments. You seem to have very little respect for your 'Master' and that seems to be reciprocated. What does a collar mean to you??? Collaring to me is a very serious matter and not to be accepted lightly. Even in the bad times i never ever post or said a disrespectful word about my Master, if i had felt that i would not be able to be submit to Him. Collars seem to be offered and taken away very lightly in this case senario and therefore not taken very seriously. You seem like children fighting over favourite toys with little regard for emotional feelings or hurt caused. People are not toys and broken hearts cannot easily mend, emotional damage can be permanent if not handled well. Please, please be kind to yourself, take a step back and give yourself time to grow and repair before you put your heart on the line again. Learn to love yourself. just my humble opinion God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things i cannot change COURAGE to change the things i can and the WISDOM to know the difference Edited 23 Jul 09, 1:05 AM by cushlah