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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "addicted to the pain plz help" addicted to the pain plz help (8) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Sat 27 Jun 09, 2:55 AM 558-030-082 US(OK), 2 yrs £ Y! Hello i recently started up again as a pain submissive. i am finding it hard to go even just a few minutes without receiving pain. The endorphins from pain are overwhelming. i'm not allowed to harm my ownself so how do i work through this so it doesnt destroy my sanity? i feel like a junkie needing a fix or something. 27 Jun 09, 3:41 AM 957-909-675 US(PA), 3 yrs your Owner not allowing you to harm yourself is different than causing yourself pain. and i would never, ever, ever say to go against the wishes of your Owner ... but, it depends on what you consider pain too? ~*~ lil squirrel ~*~ 'What are you?' I inquired. 'A slave girl,' she said. 'What is your duty?' I asked. 'Absolute obedience,' she cried out." Hunters of Gor, page 258 27 Jun 09, 3:47 AM 558-030-082 US(OK), 2 yrs £ Y! thank you for your innput. i told my Misstress that i wanted to cut on myself and she said no because that belonged to her and was at her will 27 Jun 09, 9:17 AM SeanT70 9 yrs Rather than look at just not cutting yourself, perhapsyou need to look at why you needto cut yourself at all. I like pain and I'm a cutter - I have been for years; there are two types of cut for me; the first is the emotionally unstable, unsightly *gimme-that-fuckin'-knife-now* type cut, that ends up any place, any pattern and potentially could damage me more than just superficially.. ..or.. ..my 'artsy' kind; I want them to be there - I'm in contro of that blade; I'm calm when I'm using it, I can feel every sublime stroke, and I come out in a blissful clammy spacey state after. But note; that cut is supposed to be; the main one I refer to is a 12" high Bengali symbol for Phay's real name (Sabina) on my thigh. But, on the subject in hand; perhaps NLP (Neural-Linguistic Programming) can help here. There are trained professionals that do this kind of thing but it doesn't take a genius to figure out; it's a bit like Paul McKenna getting his online diploma for hypnotism then becoming a word-famous iconic cure-all. The reason I mention NLP, is because Phay and I use our own brand to de-programme me of some issues, and it, so far has been very effective. Regards, Sean. Lovingly Owned by ~Miss Phay~ 28 Jun 09, 6:17 AM 558-030-082 US(OK), 2 yrs £ Y! thank you for your input. ffor me its always the emotional kind. i end up with 10 t0 20 cuts in all directions all over my arm and leg. i will have my Misstress look over these postings too. im sure she will b interested in whats going through my head. 28 Jun 09, 4:47 PM 976-188-983 US(ID), 4 yrs I too am addicted to pain and the endorphins it produces. I have fibromyalgia which makes it so I am in pain 24/7 and so I have endorphins running through my system all the time and need a great deal of additional pain to make them go high enough to end the pain (if that makes sense) and put me into subspace. My Master is kind enough to give me that amount of pain when I need it. I also cut to a degree but I cut to relieve emotional pain rather than physical. My Master hates this and has forbidden me from cutting and I have not done so for over a year despite needing to very badly sometimes. I have found that obeying him is more important to me than cutting to relieve the pain since I know he will help to relieve the pain. Perhaps you can have your Mistress issue an order to help you stop cutting if this is a problem. Service and the desire to obey can be a strong thing. If this hasn't/doesn't work, working with a psychologist/therapist can help give alternate activities to do. Good luck and don't despair something will help. Baby In his eyes I am lost, In his arms I am found, In his soul I am content. Kore ga Watashi no Goshujin-sama Edited 28 Jun 09, 4:49 PM by 976-188-983 28 Jun 09, 5:47 PM SeanT70 9 yrs Please don't misinterpret my post; I like pain, but from a psychiatrically mal-adjusted angle which has been used to my advantage because I'm quite physically challenged in a lot of respects. My relationship with knives is, and always has been very bad, well I say that, it's better now to the point where I don't feel the need to pick one up and do something stupid with it quite so much. The cuts though, are another story, so I'll re-iterate a little. Phay allowed me to cut her name in my leg, under supervision, and in the knowledge that I didn't have any current issues. If I had any such issues, or I was still cutting myself the way history suggests, she wouldn't have allowed me to do so. You're right though - to suggest that an M's word can be very powerful; I know Phay would be utterly displeased with me if I went against her wishes, regardless of how I felt or what the subject was. And that, in itself, is enough to change my mind or alter the course of something happening. I wouldn't suggest though, that M/s is the be-all-and-end-all, but I really think that Phay, not 'just' because of the different person she is to my first ('nilla) wife has had a massive effect on me, based on that simple thing alone. YMMV.. Regards, Sean. Lovingly Owned by ~Miss Phay~ 28 Jun 09, 6:47 PM 558-030-082 US(OK), 2 yrs £ Y! i really appriciate everyone's responses aand i am already in counseling for my cutting among other things. but how do i tell my counselor that some cuts r mine and have them not b ok but other cuts r from someone else and those are ok. will a counselor even go for that? 28 Jun 09, 10:06 PM SeanT70 9 yrs Some counsellors are what we call 'kink-aware' (others though - are not); the kink-aware kind are fully or at least partly aware of all manner of different lifestyle, fetish and personal choices aand bear this in mind when they counsel their clients. It's not a question of what you tell your counsellor, more a question of what that counsellor is able to be told in the first place. I'd suggest, then, if your counsellor isn't already, looking for a kink-aware counsellor in your area to suit your needs. They 'are' available; feel free to memo in the meantime. Best wishes, Sean. Lovingly Owned by ~Miss Phay~