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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "doms and feelings" 1 2 doms and feelings (12) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Sat 13 Jun 09, 2:41 AM 418-894-946 2 yrs do doms find it awkward if they form actual feelings for a sub the reason im asking is me an my beloved goddess owner have however people seem divided on the subject my married sub dom realationship friends see it as the ideal an most lesbian dommes ive meet also believe its so but the there is people who believe in only ever 1 sub some believe in lvls some believe in never letting any sub ever get close it seems that the opinion is so divided however what i think is that dom's need ta consider something tbh the only time in my life i have ever devloped in kove feelings an felt really happy an utterly given myself is with my goddess the reason why dom's arent honest enough dom's dont realise but where as sub's live too submit an serve an please its not just about sex its about evrything even showing love dom's need too respect that they ask much off of sub's and i believe sub's should be allowed too ask something back in all of my realationships of any form i have discovered the key is honesty and even too a slave as a slave myself speaking you cannot ask for things you do not give back in turn my owner gives me near all there time an affection in return for my loyalty an love i feel that the love is returned but many dom's ask for such devotion but do not give the time back i guess the main point is this it seems that dom's are afraid of forming actual feelings for a sub but in such intimate an sexual realationships this is bound too happen not in every case but it will occur i think dom's need too start being less afraid of this as ist unfair too submissive's or perhaps maybe just more honest where as at the mo im in love an very happy feel the love returned in a sub dom way in past experinces i think my dom partners could have been more honest about what they wanted 13 Jun 09, 10:30 AM rubiconslave 2 yrs Hi, I would have thought that as in all relationships, whatever form they take, it is up to those involved to define the parameters. If you and your mistress are happy with the way that you feel about each other, and the way that is expressed, then surely that is enough. I would also say that if is prhaps the role of the Master/Mistress to enable their possession to be all that they can be and experience all that they can - to be afraid of someone elses love for you, would indicate (to me) a lack of power and control. Not sure whether that is helpful, but these are my thoughts on your post Best rubi 13 Jun 09, 5:39 PM goreankajira US(OH), 4 yrs Y! You will find people on both sides of the coin on this one. While for me as a slave its been very natural for me to love my Master. i also respect him and there is a difference. And as master has said its not always necessary for a Master to love their slave it just so happens that in this case he does. there has to be some kind of common ground or bond to make it work, however not always love. Love is nice and a very positive plus if you can find it but its not always needed. What is needed is respect and caring. You dont have to really love someone to care about their needs, welfare or emotional state. this is just my opinion, and i'm sure you will get many different answers. i hope this helps. 13 Jun 09, 10:47 PM LadyCheree US, 2 yrs Hello dear, surprise. (This site does work from an iPhone!) Honestly I feel that any Dom/me that is afraid to give something to their submissive is merely acting their role instead of living it... Love, Respect, Adoration, or any other number of feelings must be shared between a Domme and her sub or else it can lead to the problems that commonly occur in the lifestyle... subs become a commodity instead of valued friends, partners, dare I even say lovers and thus they can't help but start to feel alone in their relationships... As a Mistress, I know I require and ask a lot of a submissive and even more of a slave... I demand respect, honesty, and several other things...but in return I'm not afraid to offer up the exact same things back to my slave... Lets face it, in even the most serious D/s relationship, we are both here because we want to enjoy ourselves, we want to feel a connection with their the one holding the leash or the one wearing the leash, and without a transference of feelings between the two are we ever truly complete? Just my two cents... Lady Cheree - Proud owner of 418-894-946 14 Jun 09, 3:09 AM 418-894-946 2 yrs hehhehe giggles sorry my love i dunno just you saying on here about you an me an are relationship and and how serious are relationship is i dunno just fills me with all happy bubbly girlie giggly happyness hehehhehe mind you i am wondering as too where youve disappeared ta tonite :P smiles sorry cant get over the joy of on a public forum you saying that i am your slave girlfriend partner and lover and serious relationship hehehe but take note all see how happy i am how overly proud i am an how filled with joy and love i am at such a public declaration of our relationship that my goddess has made whys??? because i love her and know she loves me as in real true love does this diminish her dominace role over me no it strengthens it 1000 fold it makes me live too serve her in every form and thought an aspect that i can ps Lady Cheree I LOVE YOU 14 Jun 09, 3:42 PM allalone47 US(OH), 6 yrs Owners adn there slaves shood love each other. The comitment that they each share for each other is a stong bond. With out the love that the owner has for his or her slaves dn the love the slaves shood have for ther owher and there owners other slves then there is not bond between then and it is only going though the motions 14 Jun 09, 8:08 PM 418-894-946 2 yrs i agree smiles ur situation or experince sounds a bit different ta mine as in sounds very poly an such see my Mistress owner as she said above is also my real serious girlfriend lover an partner which bye way an actual sub dom relationship is ace but yes im glad u agree feelings are important 14 Jul 09, 10:45 PM tigermonkey US(MN), 2 yrs Okay, considering how hard some of this was to read here is my take on this post. In any D/s or M/s relationship, there has to be some form of feelings. A connection if you will. Without the connection the relationship can not work. Same goes with vanilla relationships. As it goes in life some people are just not good at showing how they feel for another. Do not forget that Dom/me, Masters, Mistresses are people too and some may find it hard in the position they are in (yes one they choose but none the less) to show their feelings for what they may consider a possession. The sub/slave may give a lot but so does the Dom/me. In that, is the fact of sometimes needing to be hard on the person they care about. Can make it hard to be sweet sometimes. Just my thought on this. No matter how hard I want to take the sad look off my girls face when she knows she has disappointed me or messed up, I have to be hard and show I am in control. It does not mean I do not show her I love her greatly, and with all my heart. tigermonkey Edited 15 Jul 09, 3:32 AM by tigermonkey 15 Jul 09, 3:42 AM 688-914-375 US(MN), 2 yrs Each and every relationship is different. But what I feel many people seem to forget is, it is still first and foremost a relationship. This means that there should be some sort of feelings involved. My Dom does everything in her power to make sure I know that she loves me, and even when I have done wrong makes sure that I know that I am still loved. There may be those who disagree with me, and I have been reading many, many sites lately and have found the whole, do what is right and works for you. But I also seen something that really hit home and made sense to me, there may not be one right way, but there is still a way of going about it that is beneficial and helpful and a way that is not. It is a relationship and if it is a relationship, there should be emotions, feelings and everything else that is part of a relationship. Syr Tigermonkey's respected and loved little one. Edited 15 Jul 09, 3:46 AM by 688-914-375 23 Jul 09, 8:25 AM Skruddgemire US(MD), 3 yrs It isn't always the case. True there are some Doms who take things to a different level than others. There are those who take it for a complete and total Dom/sub or Master/slave relationship and do not form attachments and start to freak out if they do. That kind of person may have a need to an emotional detachment in that sort of play (they need to lose themselves in the scenario just as much as the sub/slave does) or they may have an inability to deal with a relationship on an emotional level and/or every other explanation in between. Personally I can never be that level of a Dom/Master simple because I need love in my relationships or it doesn't fulfill my needs. I can be harsh, I can be inventive with my punishments meted out... ...but in the end my wife/sub/slave knows that I love her and because of that, it increases our level of trust. After all in her mind (and she has told this to me), if I love her I can never harm her. All the pain, all the humiliation I subject her to, she knows will be within what she can tolerate. At the outset of our relationship, we talked and laid it all out what we wanted. I took what she wanted and push the envelope to points she never considered, but she trusts me because she knows that my love will never allow her to be harmed. Everything else is fair game and she knows and 'fears' that. But that 'fear' is what she wants and not having to feel real fear wondering if what I'll decide next will harm her physically, emotionally, or spiritually. 23 Jul 09, 10:56 PM SnowdropExplodes UK, 7 yrs Y! 418-894-946 wrote: doms and feelings do doms find it awkward if they form actual feelings for a sub For me the question is almost oxymoronic: if I don't have actual feelings (i.e. deep and abiding love) then there really isn't much hope of the relationship reaching the point where I would involve myself in a D/s relationship. For me personally, by definition, a D/s relationship involves that level of emotion and feelings. Other people, of course, differ, and I make no judgement about that. I just say how it is for me and my relationships. It's awkward only in the same way that any love relationship is awkward, whether BDSM or vanilla: if you love someone and let them into your heart, then it means that you can be hurt by them. But that's the same for any open and honest relationship between two lovers. Next page