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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "changing " changing (5) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Tue 9 Jun 09, 12:01 PM masters_little_toy UK, 5 yrs Last year I had an operation on my bottom, we were very glad to have it done, as play had been restricted in that area, and we were both looking forward to the day when we could get back to heavier play. over the last 8 months things have not improved, I was in more pain after the op, than before. To cut a long story short, I now have spinal nerve damage due to the op. During all of this I have been worried that we could not get back to the level of play that we were at before, and being a dissapointment to my Master.I have always worked and until recently was the only bread winner,with the possibility of losing my job due to this illness and not being able to work for a while, has made me feel very useless, He tells me very firmly not to be an idiot. Play has evolved, we have tried lots of very different things,things that I would not have believed I would have done, and found the experience has opened up my world instead of closing it in.If anything my submission is renewed as he is the one bringing in the money now, for awhile it felt as if I was fighting with submission, being the one in charge of things financialy speaking. Now even though I am at home and in discomfort, I can't wait for him to come home, to have the meals ready, his clothes washed, the house just right. So I find myself confused, unhappy about health issues and the prospect of not working, but reveling in the submissive state, that I now find myself in. Has anyone else had a similar experience, and how did it effect you? Edited Tue 9 Jun 09, 4:08 PM by masters_little_toy 9 Jun 09, 6:49 PM goreankajira US(OH), 4 yrs Y! i was injured at work a year and a half ago. i now have 6 herniated discs in my back along with arthritis in my spine and degenerative disc disease. i cant work and am having to wait on social security disability right now which ive been told is a 2 year process. ive always worked and now that i cant YES, i go thru times when i feel completely useless. Master knows this as at times my mental state changes to where i cant focus on much if anything except for everything im fighting and going thru. its hard , at times i feel like ive went from being able to do anything down to being able to do nothing. Master tells me that things will be ok and will work out in time, and as much as i do believe him i do still stress over it. its hard not to, its been a hard adjustment being that i'm used to having my own money to do things with and now i'm completely dependent on Master for everything. i do know what your going thru and its not easy but youll make it and it sounds like your Master is there for you and having support is one of the most important things you can have right now. i wish you luck and if you like you can mssage me anytime if you need to talk 9 Jun 09, 10:52 PM masters_little_toy UK, 5 yrs Thank you for your kind words and support, I am also here if you ever need to chat. take care. 17 Jun 09, 11:57 PM mystyblu US(TX), 2 yrs .this girl can not comment to your discomfort from your illness as she has never experienced something like that before, she can only say that you can not dwell on the things you can no longer do, like working, instead concentrate on the things you can, like taking care of your Master and his home. Don't stumble over your happiness by looking for something you lost in your past. .this one wishes you much luck and happiness CSs_mystyone 3 Jul 09, 5:17 PM masters_little_toy UK, 5 yrs Just an update, The treatment is working well, and with occupational health's help I have been allowed to go back to work on light duties. I have been told that I will probably have to wear the patch permanently, but it is helping and has allowed me to keep my job, so things are looking up. As for the D/s it also is going well, I still can't wait to run around after Himself, to do those things that will will make him happy and ease his life, and I have learned to do as I am told, which for anyone that knows me is a hard task, as I always question things, and don't know when to stop and rest,I always push myself to go on a do more, that has one problem though, I am finding that at work, one person in particular seems to have the same effect on me, when ever he say's stop, don't do that, have a rest, I find that I immeadiatly obey!!!!! I have accepted that there are things that I can not do,and have moved my positive thoughts to those things that I can do. We used to enjoy going to clubs to play, but feel these days that we can play Our way at home much better without comments from people who do not understand (about him being too soft on me). You don't have to be a pain slut to serve, my service to him is subtle I suppose, I look after him and make him happy, and try to do whatever he ask's without question and that's all that counts. When I first started out in this lifestyle, my thoughts on d/s were much different from what they are now, I was trying to live up to an ideal, thank god I finaly figured it out. 3 Jul 09, 6:49 PM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs I'm glad to hear that your treatments are working. All the best. 333-528-841