Open Air Bondage - the best outdoor BDSM shoots    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Managing your "former" life after becoming owned" Managing your "former" life after becoming owned (9) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Sun 31 May 09, 9:23 PM V_belongstoTheBoss 3 yrs Hmmmmm......hope this makes sense, it's easier to think these things then write them down. I have been with The Boss for just over a year now (still very much a "newbie") and it has been a life-changing experience in so many wonderful ways. The problem with life changes however, is that other people tend to notice and all of a sudden I seem to be dealing with friends and colleagues that have an issue with how my life is developing, from no longer going out and drinking with work colleagues (i still go out and have a social drink, I just now remember getting home) to my best friend thinking The Boss is treating me like "a victim". I have dealt with these issues individually (having lent my friend Raven Kalderas book, she now "gets it") but I know these issues will crop up again as my service deepens and the leash gets shorter so I would very much like to hear of others experiences of how they have "managed" family and friends reactions to their D/s, M/s life (either from a positive or negative reaction). Many thanks (and thanks for all I have learnt from this site so far) V To follow in the footsteps of Inannas journey is to understand that the way to rebirth is through pain 31 May 09, 9:49 PM Oysterspearl US(VA), 3 yrs Boy i can relate to this one. We went through this back in the winter and i posted a similar question. It's a hard thing to deal with and sometimes i do feel that little uneasy feeling when answering questions. The best advice i was given by my Master and the wonderful people here was this. Answer the question honestly, but don't give away too much. You have to be confident in your response for this to fly with everyone. As far as what you do for the Boss. Well anyone from the outside looking in is going to look like you are the victim. Just respond with something like "What is wrong with me showing him that i love him"? Try not to dwell on it either. Answer their question and move on. Not going out with friens after work, well just respond that you have something great waiting for you at home and you can't wait to get there. My mother hammered one question after another at me. i finally just had to tell her to stop and explained that i'm the happiest i've been in a long time can't she just accept that. She has and the questions stopped. The questions will soon stop from your family and friends. Before you know it they will accept you interaction with each other. Good luck and hope this helps. pearl 3 Jun 09, 11:11 PM House_of_Sire US, 3 yrs Thank you pearl for the words of wisdom and for giving me a little hope that the loved ones in my life will someday come around. Sire told me that once they see how happy i am, how well He takes care of me, how wonderful my life is that they will have less of a problem with my lifestyle and just be happy that i am happy and loved. i am patiently waiting for that day to come. In the mean time i am trying not to dwell on the people who have told me that i should just pretend to be normal and instead am focusing on Sire and our family. My life is beautiful and i am confident that one day my loved ones will all see that. slave sirenity 5 Jun 09, 8:14 PM Oysterspearl US(VA), 3 yrs You are welcome. Just keep a positive outlook and they will see how happy you are. That should be all the matters to anyone. If your friends and family can see that you are happy, then they shouldn't question or judge. Good luck to you, hope it all works out. pearl 21 Aug 10, 8:31 PM 491-315-154 US(CA), 2 yrs God, how I can relate to this post. I already have people asking why I do XY and Z on a daily basis. We are in a situation where it is hard for people not to see what I am doing and I have heard over and over comments such as "Well, He is the man why is He not helping you. If I do reply I usually just tell them they do not know the whole story and I leave it at that. 22 Aug 10, 5:08 PM 375-295-503 UK, 2 yrs You can't live your life for other people. (Except for your Boss's of course ) Your family and genuine friends (which may or may not include your colleagues and drinking buddies) only want the best for you and this may take time for them to see you blossom under His care. Don't feel you have to tell everyone everything; I would say it may be wiser to say nothing to anybody until they have your trust and they are able to see for themselves how happy it makes you to serve your Boss. And even then, be selective in what you say; e.g. We prefer living life as a trational 50's household, etc. Enjoy learning the lifestyle and it really doesn't matter what other's think. 24 Aug 10, 3:17 PM RupiniBoy US(FL), 21 mths It sounds very similar to my coming out of the closet with my mother about liking men. She still doesn't agree with it and probably never will. Everyone else already knew because of how i behaved and acted. Not extremely feminine but i like my eye candy. If i did find the perfect Master i am not sure i'd want to go through all of that again. Rather just have Master pass himself off as a boyfriend when in my mother's presence. In my case... finding the perfect Master might just be as difficult as finding the right guy. So might never even happen. And then i live in Florida where there is a church on every corner. A lake in every backyard. Several of my friends didn't agree with my homosexuality, but staid friends for awhile. Again, i think that's how it would be if i ever came out about being a slave. 1 Nov 10, 11:58 AM 727-021-835 US(CT), 20 mths Thankfully my prospective Master flew me to the states from Spain where he collared me in his home country and this is where I will live. I must admit it would have been very hard to make the change in my Home town of marbella as I was the socialite type and my friends would have been horrified with such a change in my lifestyle. 1 Nov 10, 12:38 PM Master4536 US(IL), 22 mths Unfortunately, the general society doesn't understand, so I (as the Master) design the social mask for myself and the slave. I usually introduce him as a boyfriend, and tell him how he is to act. This is often as a not-too-overly attentive boyfriend, and should be a somewhat attentive to everyone else so he doesn't stand out. People never realize that I told him how to dress and groom himself for the day, and the gold chain on his neck was given to him on the day he was enslaved to me. When we sit close, and he's been a bit too free-spirited, I'll put my hand on the back of his neck and play with the chain, rubbing it into his neck, as a reminder to get back in line. 1 Nov 10, 7:25 PM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs I read this post when it was first made, and again when the lastest additions were made. I looked back over the last year with my Master and realized that other than some very subtle changes in how I do things in vanilla company and how life is lived at home... my life has not changed all that much from what it was before. I make no distinction between a former life and the life I am living right now. Maybe I am just a very lucky girl in how my Master has handled the transition. Life is just life... and Master and I deal with it as it comes along. I should point out that Master has very stong views that what we do should never impact in a negative or harmful way our relationship with our families, our careers or our vanilla lives in general. A lifestyle friend once described our relationship as very strict 50's household without any visible kink. The biggest hurdles for me... have been my changing beliefs about myself and my world view. All of which when examined have provided some phenominal moments of personal growth. "With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity." ~ Keshavan Nair Edited 1 Nov 10, 7:42 PM by pet_ka_MJ