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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "an 'uncomfortable' question" an 'uncomfortable' question (3) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Tue 26 May 09, 4:22 PM 779-061-353 US(MO), 4 yrs Y! Now i'm not sure if anyone out there has had this problem/experiance or not but i have a major problem that my doctors all tell me something diffrent on. Due to some major abuse doe to me as a child by father, brother, and then made worse by an evil husbandsex of any kind is extremely painful for me. ALSO i cannot have a cervical exam by a doctor without intense pain..... one doctor told me that due to scarring inside me my uterus has grown in places it should not, thereby causeing pain. Anoth said no that it was just overly sensitive nerve endings. Now i'm not asking for a dignosis here but rather... does anyone... ANYONE know if it's possible to get past the pain and feel pleasure with such a problem? or am i stuck? written kneeling at His feet, leash frimly in place Come check out this girl's writings http://www.freewebs.com/bardic/ Master Silver Wolf approves all this grl's posts they MUST pass his approval before posting 26 May 09, 5:43 PM moebius_slave US(LA), 3 yrs IMO, the answer is yes and no... i work myself past a certain amount of pain just by using mind over matter, try looking into self relaxation/meditation. your M can certainly help you with this, its not something that has to be done alone. i am also big on being a part of your own medical treatment, any time i see a new doctor, i let him know up front that both M and i need to be a part of any medical treatment that i receive. you say you got a diagnosis from one doctor that stated that there was extensive damage and scarring...did he have a treatment plan in mind? if not, i would say that its just a put-off. even if the pain is too much for you to totally overcome, you and your M can still have a very fulfilling sexlife...as you well know from being on the board here that there is not one 'right' way to be intimate The devil came to me last night and asked what I wanted in exchange for my soul. I still can't believe I said pizza. Friggin' cravings. 31 May 09, 8:07 AM JDs_girl US, 3 yrs This is my first post; I am a notorious lurker and have never had the courage to post before. I haven't even bothered to fill out my profile, but I really felt the need to respond to this thread. I too have pain during intercourse. Sex has almost always been painful from the time I lost my virginity. I believe I was sexually abused when I was a kid, although I don't have any memories of it. I used to get night terrors though. I have a lot of scar tissue, and no doctor has really given me an effective treatment for it. This scar tissue has caused two tubal pregnancies. After the first tubal my doctor tried to repair the damaged tube but it didn't work. I had another tubal and she had to remove it. I was lucky though, I have two beautiful little girls now. The only time I could have intercourse was when I was very turned on, which didn't happen often. I never understood the big deal everyone made about sex. Besides the pain, it seemed like it was too much of a hassle for nothing. Husband and I joke that our sex life was just tickle, tickle, rub, rub, ahhh. So boring! For my entire marriage I have tried to find ways to alleviate the pain and boredom of sex. It was only when I saw a BDSM clip on hogtied that I realize what has been missing all these years. I had no idea how to tell Husband. One night about four months ago Husband fell asleep during nilla sex. I was so angry and confused about what I had seen earlier that day, I burst into tears and I confessed everything. I knew Husband had a very active sex life before we met but I had no idea he had been into BDSM before we met. We are not M/s yet, but are working towards it. I have a lot less pain during intercourse now. Don't get me wrong it is still there but it isn't an all consuming issue for me anymore. It would plague me every time we became intimate. The power exchange between us has changed things so dramatically. I know longer have a choice when we have intercourse, there is a lot less pressure. It doesn't matter if I am turned on or not, which in turns makes it very exciting for me. Husband also controls my orgasms, I only have to do what I am told to do, so I can relax and just enjoy the experience. Some other things that I have found that help me with the pain during intercourse is having some other type of pain inflicted on me. Using nipple clamps or clothes pins helps me focus my attention away from the pain during sex. Husband inflicts this type of pain during intercourse and while using toys. Before penetration I like to be whipped between my legs, this also helps me focus on something else. Also denying me orgasms helps to. If Husband works me up to frenzy I will do anything for release including intercourse, which doesn't hurt at all at that point. Sorry for the long post but I wanted you to know you weren't alone in this. If you want to talk some more just PM me, and if you feel comfortable sharing some techniques for dealing with pain please share. Hope this helps. Erika 31 May 09, 8:50 PM Darkgirl UK, 3 yrs I think both posts above are absolutly spot on. It is up to you how you want to work it out. I have been married 7 years but we split up earlier last year after a lot of physical and verbal abuse. Sex was zero due to the fact I had no 'feeling' apart from pain and did not turn me on. Also, before the split I had only found out the meanings of BDSM and what they meant to me. My head was such a mess and I found the courage to see a doctor and he refered me to a psycologist. She was great and we talked about my sexuality and the problems I had. It turned out that memories I had as a child and the rape a few years before ect had contributed to it all. I now have a wonderfull partner who is also my Dom. Again I also prefer not to have a say in our sex/play and find that not having any control helps me to relax and get turned on as well as 'manage' the pain as part of my 'punishment'. This just soo does it for me that it overcomes my fears and emotions of passed experiences/negativity and produces something I've never had in my life. Never thought I'd ever enjoy sex.... you just need to experiment and find what work for you. Have the greatest enjoyment and fun finding out Hun! After the light of day, darkness comes and kneels to obey!!