The Top 100 BDSM / Fetish Books    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Meeting 2nd slave with or without 1st slave?" 1 2 3 Meeting 2nd slave with or without 1st slave? (26) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 4 May 09, 4:35 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs One of the things that I like about my boy is his sharp mind with its keen perceptions. (When he's focused, that is.) He has a good sense of when people are bullshitting. He also thinks of things that I don't. I consider his brain a resource for me to use - I'm two people's worth of perception, as it were. So I can't imagine interviewing someone without him there. He'd think of questions that I wouldn't - especially when it comes to things that subs might be hiding. He knows all about that, from the bottom side. He'd be able to speak to them in their language, and perhaps reassure them in ways that might not occur to me. Plus, he and I are a Team. It's best that new subs would get that from the start - that there would be no way to triangulate and attempt to set us against each other. Having him co-interview would reinforce that, and show them that I value his opinions on the subject. -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 4 May 09, 7:47 PM Daniel SE, 3 yrs Thank you ALL for helpful advice so far! Hawklord: “This messes your first slave about and she is not as strong …” Thanks for pointing this out. I believe it's true, and I've been wondering weather it could actually be stressful thing for her to be involved from the beginning. On the other hand it would be reassuring for her... SlaveNika: Thanks for sharing, what you tell us is about the same as my girl would have written I think. I also think beginning with play is a good idea if you want to get to know a 3rd person without making it too serious too soon. ravenkaldera: That resonates well with me too. My girl is better than me at spotting bullshit. Maybe I can't afford not bringing her to the interview (?) which will probably take place next week... Hmm. You've all got me thinking. Really helpful boards, these; Thank you all. Peace and love ~Still going wrong~ Edited 4 May 09, 7:50 PM by Daniel 8 May 09, 5:10 AM LovingMasterDaddy US, 3 yrs I agree with those who have left it up to their first slave to find their Masters' second slave (and their sister). IMHO, if the first slave is not sufficiently familiar with your desires/ needs in a (second) slave... Then they don't know you well enough, and that's more likely your fault than theirs. Another thing... If your first slave is bi-sexual from both an emotional and sexual standpoint, and if you seek the same in a second slave... And if you want both slave's first loyalty to be to you... I suggest that you keep a close eye on the development of the initial relationship between the two slaves, and interject yourself into the process (perhaps even insisting that your first slave "fade into the background" for a while at a certain point) before they fall **too much** in love with one another. Simply put, when love between two sisterslaves is involved, it can be possible for their loyalty to one another to exceed their loyalty to you... And that needs to be actively managed by you. Said another way, you may need to assert yourself actively enough in each of their lives that you ensure that their first love is for you... Then one another. Otherwise, you may have Dominance/submission issues with them later, especially if - perhaps for reasons beyond your control - they end up spending far more time with one another (absent from you) than you actively spend with them (a common phenomenon if you work 40 hours/ week or more, and they both stay-at-home). Edited 8 May 09, 5:11 AM by LovingMasterDaddy 9 May 09, 4:49 PM Daniel SE, 3 yrs Thanks for sharing insight. I reckon you're right; though at first when I read your post I didn't really agree. But after some thinking I do (: Yes, I want their first loyalty to be me. My 1st slave is bi-, both sexually and emotionally, I want my second to be that too. I also plan for them to spend time together without me. Not to start with, but later on. Part of my purpose for this is that I want the pro of them being able to support each other both practica(l)ly, emotionally and sexually. ("sexual support" - is there such a thing?) I also think it's a good idea to make my 1st step back temporarily in the beginning. Your'e right; I don't want to compete with my 1st on bonding... It's obvious that your advice is relevant to me (: Thanks! ~Still going wrong~ 10 May 09, 1:38 AM Hawklord UK, 6 yrs Even though you've got your answers I would just like to add that all the interaction between the two slaves needs to be controlled by you. So they seek permission for everything especially sex. They should seek permission for sex or carry out your instructions as to what they should do so they are dependent on you. The slaves should be dependent on the Master for all needs including sexual. I use Maslows theories to reinforce the dependence on many levels. Hawklord Sic volo. sic jubeo. stat pro ratione voluntas 12 May 09, 6:54 AM Daniel SE, 3 yrs I'm still interested in more answeres. It's really food for thought. Using Maslow's theories for reinforcing dependency... Do you use the hierarchy of neeeds in a certain way or order? Or do you make sure that the dependency is there on all levels, från basic sucurity to self-actualization? I'm curious to hear more. ~Still going wrong~ 12 May 09, 11:49 AM Master_TEK US(TX), 4 yrs Y! The way I went about it was, after I did the initial chat interviews, was to have the potential second girl, talk/chat directly with my first girl for several weeks to see if they had enough things in common and would at least be friends or sisters before she and I, together, went and met the girl in person. This way they had already begun bonding and I knew that there was at least common interest and friendship. We three are now very happy as a Poly Master/slave household. 8 Jun 09, 7:12 PM Daniel SE, 3 yrs I just thought I'll give you all an update since you were so kind to give me advice when I asked. I met the potential slave (a man) by myself. My 1st (a woman) didn't have any problems with that, and afterwords I told her in detail what we had been doing, what we had discussed and what my impressions were. I don't know if he's a fit, but it's worth a try. So, in a couple of weeks he'll come to stay for a weekend, and we will all tree be together to get a sense of what it's like. I realize there are a lot of issues for me to consider. Like what's supposed to be the character of the relationship between the two of them... One thing is that I have to decide what I want. Another thing is that I'll have to see their interaction before I know what will work... Or maybe I can be in charge of that question too (?) Anyone with experiences on that? Can you decide which one of your slave is the dominant among the two of them - or is it sometheng that you have to study when you see them two together. I'm not sure on that one... ~Still going wrong~ 9 Jun 09, 12:54 PM allalone47 US(OH), 6 yrs You shood bring the 1st slave to the meeting. Why well many have tould you there reasons and all are valled. Here are mine adn soem my have been said before. One you need to see the reaction of the two of them together.Its not good haveing the slaves getting into a cat fight all the time unless that is what you seek. Next you shood keep the 1st slave as a slave and not a comanion at the meeting so the new slave will see what is expected of her. Next it is not just that the new slave must be compatable with you but the two of you. Yes both slaves must be compatable with each other as well. 24 Jun 09, 8:04 PM Daniel SE, 3 yrs "Next you shood keep the 1st slave as a slave and not a comanion at the meeting so the new slave will see what is expected of her." That's a good piece of advice I believe. Thanks for a thoughtful answere! I still haven't brought them together. It will happen during the summer; dates are not determined yet. I'll keep your advice in mind. /Daniel ~Still going wrong~ Next page