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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Venting frustrations..." 1 2 3 4 5 Venting frustrations... (42) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Mon 27 Apr 09, 6:10 PM jakesemma US(WA), 4 yrs Y! I am curious what most people think "venting" means... and how its healthy for a relationship.... Why not just directly communicate feelings to a partner, and resolve it, or figure out a way to deal with it? Doesn't venting/negativity tend to bring you down long-term or make you lose sight of the good things you liked about your partner to begin with? Why not communicate directly with your partner to come up with a solution instead of whining/venting/bitching to other people? 27 Apr 09, 6:53 PM Tanos UK, 14 yrs Y! jakesemma wrote: Why not communicate directly with your partner to come up with a solution instead of whining/venting/bitching to other people? Slightly tangentially, one of the striking things I've noticed is how many female slaves say that M/s makes it difficult to socialise with many vanilla women (eg work colleagues) who use venting about their partners as a way of bonding as friends. Regards, Tanos www.tanos.org.uk www.bridgewood.org.uk www.twitter.com/ukTanos 27 Apr 09, 6:58 PM jakesemma US(WA), 4 yrs Y! Tanos wrote: jakesemma wrote: Why not communicate directly with your partner to come up with a solution instead of whining/venting/bitching to other people? Slightly tangentially, one of the striking things I've noticed is how many female slaves say that M/s makes it difficult to socialise with many vanilla women (eg work colleagues) who use venting about their partners as a way of bonding as friends. Regards, Tanos I have noticed that as well, and I personally cannot handle listening to a person bitch/bash their partner. You picked him honey, if there's something so drastically horrible with him, *why* in gods name are you with him? I do think there is a difference between saying how you feel to a friend about a situation and making your partner *look* bad. Maybe the difference isn't' so much getting your feelings out, but rather how its phrased? 27 Apr 09, 7:18 PM SirSeven 2 yrs When you say venting, are you referring to venting directly to your partner or venting/bitching about your partner behind their back to other people? If it's the former, I think it is important to be able to communicate (vent) directly with your partner as long as it's done in a healthy, constructive, and appropriate manner. If it's the latter, I think it's very wrong, and potentially harmful, to vent/complain/bitch to others about your partner. This is especially true if it's malicious or otherwise hurtful to them or their reputation. Venting to others often requires sharing intimate details about their partner that the partner may not want others to know about. I know I would feel betrayed if someone did something like this to me. Sir Seven Edited 30 Jun 09, 2:21 PM by SirSeven 27 Apr 09, 8:18 PM Hesperus US(CT), 2 yrs Y! jakesemma wrote: Venting frustrations... Why not just directly communicate feelings to a partner, and resolve it, or figure out a way to deal with it? I find it interesting a woman has this point of view. Generally men want to get to a solution and women want to share feelings and concerns. I am NOT being a sexist, it is an observation shared with Me by MANY women. That being said, "venting" is letting off pent up feelings. If a slave has pent up feelings, in my opinion, the Master / Mistress has failed to handle the slave correctly. If a Master has pent up feelings I question their ability to control themselves and thus a slave. A Master, in my not so humble opinion, should have been dealing with their feelings all along and therefore they should not be pent up. I realize this post may get Me some hate mail / hate postings but I felt it important enough to say. Anyone who disagrees with Me should feel free to send Me a flame memo or write a derogatory post and "vent" their disgust with Me. :^) Submitted with absolute Respect for everyone elses opinion... Hesperus 27 Apr 09, 9:16 PM SeanT70 9 yrs jakesemma wrote: Venting frustrations... I am curious what most people think "venting" means... and how its healthy for a relationship.... Why not just directly communicate feelings to a partner, and resolve it, or figure out a way to deal with it? Doesn't venting/negativity tend to bring you down long-term or make you lose sight of the good things you liked about your partner to begin with? Why not communicate directly with your partner to come up with a solution instead of whining/venting/bitching to other people? For me, 'venting' means 'airing our concerns in whatever vocal fashion; it's good to let off steam; sometimes it just gets to the point where you have to blow a gasket over..something. For some people, communicating feelings to their partners isn't always easy or as straightforward as it should be for fearof retribution, repercussions, and the like. In a reasonably 'normal' (and pick your own definition of the word btw) household, perhaps there may be some room for resolution and a way to deal with the problem if it were discussed openly, calmy and rationally. The trouble is of course, once 'someone' in that discussion is exposed as being the centre or cause of the problem, they become insecure and defensive. Venting or negativity (and emma I don't find them to be the same thing in context, because negatvity can be in atmosphere alone), can bring you down or make you lose sight of what you ever saw in that partner to begin with; but non-communicaton will burn you from the inside out faster. Communication is key, until a solution is reached between you or a half-decent split is finalised. jakesemma wrote: Tanos wrote: jakesemma wrote: Why not communicate directly with your partner to come up with a solution instead of whining/venting/bitching to other people? Slightly tangentially, one of the striking things I've noticed is how many female slaves say that M/s makes it difficult to socialise with many vanilla women (eg work colleagues) who use venting about their partners as a way of bonding as friends. Regards, Tanos I have noticed that as well, and I personally cannot handle listening to a person bitch/bash their partner. Well no, but sometimes the walls are so thin, ya really don't get that much choice You picked him honey, if there's something so drastically horrible with him, *why* in gods name are you with him? Since tangents have been gone off on, is this a battle of the sexes?; 9 times out of 10 it's his fault anyway. Hasn't anyone ever question why so many male M-types and not so many female? Answer; so he doesn't have to pick his own bloody socks up and turn them the right way through in the laundry; trust me, I know how painful 'not' doing that can be! I do think there is a difference between saying how you feel to a friend about a situation and making your partner *look* bad. Of course. I've had second-hand insults from apparent mutual friends in the past. Nothing quite like hearing about how bad things or how bad *you* are, when you think everything's OK at home. Maybe the difference isn't' so much getting your feelings out, but rather how its phrased? Actually, I find if you phrase things another way, you just don't say what you need to say what you intended to. Hesperus wrote: jakesemma wrote: Venting frustrations... Why not just directly communicate feelings to a partner, and resolve it, or figure out a way to deal with it? I find it interesting a woman has this point of view. Generally men want to get to a solution and women want to share feelings and concerns. I am NOT being a sexist, it is an observation shared with Me by MANY women. I've not written this to flame, and I'm going to walk away after; ..unless I'm mistaken, you're a man, who made a directed comment to a woman, and claim not to be sexist. The comment you made was in fact is subjective based on 'who' you talk(ed) to I suppose, given that in the knowledge that I serve Phay, and even if I didn't, many people in our locale know I do a fine job in looking after her, You'd probably be in wonder, then, that some of these people are in fact women who know me quite, if not very well, and, in saying that, wish they had a man (in their terms non-M/s of course) that did this for them, and not only that, but one who would discuss what's on their minds too other than football (which I can't abide, btw), all whilst getting a very reasonable if not timely solution to any problem that may arise during my service to Phay, both on an emotional and on and M/s front. If a slave has pent up feelings, in my opinion, the Master / Mistress has failed to handle the slave correctly. OK, so this 'might' flame; you're telling me that just because I have a lot of emotions that might remain undealt with, or they might come to the surface from time to time, because some stuff is still fairly new, and some stuff is very close to my heart (yeah guys, I do have one, ya didn't know that, did ya? ), then my (wife and...) Mistress - Phay has handled me incorrectly ? - do ya have a shovel for your opinions? (it means don't talk rubbish, if anyone wonders) Anyway, jakesemma, that was my take on your post; sorry it got a bit longwinded an' all. Nice to see ya postin' for a change Sean. Lovingly Owned by ~Miss Phay~ 27 Apr 09, 10:14 PM Kay_kay US(NY), 2 yrs i'm new and hesitate to post but i am guilty of venting to my Master. Well, maybe guilty is not the right word. my Master encourages me to vent to Him about whatever is making me stressed or unhappy even if it is Him because He knows i was not taught how to express negative emotions when i was younger. i was taught from childhood to surpress any negative emotions and He does not think this is healthy for me to do as it makes me fragile and gets my emotions mixed up and stressed. So He does have me vent to Him and even at Him at times because once i let it all out, verbalize it all, i get very emotionally and physically exhausted and He says it is much easier to figure out exactly what is wrong once i'm worn out and calm instead of running around in emotional circles of being stressed from anger, frustration and shame that He sees the negative emotions in me. So, in my opinion, venting can be very beneficial if it's handled correctly. General venting or the venting for bonding as mentioned before can be very harmful and i agree with the others that it is not a good idea and can be very harmful. However, taking time to just release all of the negative emotions in a controlled environment i think is very beneficial. 28 Apr 09, 1:58 AM slave_nebulina US(KS), 3 yrs Tanos wrote: jakesemma wrote: Why not communicate directly with your partner to come up with a solution instead of whining/venting/bitching to other people? Slightly tangentially, one of the striking things I've noticed is how many female slaves say that M/s makes it difficult to socialise with many vanilla women (eg work colleagues) who use venting about their partners as a way of bonding as friends. Regards, Tanos Posted with permission of Master Odin. i work with about 450 vanilla females – the venting/bashing that goes on is unreal!! And then they wonder why they're not happy and don't get along with their husbands or boyfriends. There is no respect. As Master says, there are several that live vicariously thru me (if they only knew!!) they just know i come to work happy as a lark and love my husband more each day – we are in the 6th year of our honeymoon and it is one year of being His slave. Master lets me vent – but it is generally just to blow off steam from things that happen at work when it gets overwhelming – He has such a wonderful way of de-stressing me (can you say whipping post?? i knew that you could !) nebulina Tortured by pleasure, Pleasured by pain, liberated by enslavement. 28 Apr 09, 5:39 PM jakesemma US(WA), 4 yrs Y! Venting to your Owner is different in my opinion, than venting about how horrible he is to someone else. 28 Apr 09, 7:05 PM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs I don't work but I go with C to his office each day - I have a friendly relationship with approximately 20 of the women he employs. Additionally, I have 6 friends who are s-types and 3 who are not. I've found the happy and unhappy relationships to be equally distributed among both groups. It's the same for the levels of venting, too - some vent because they "enjoy" (or are at least more comfortable with) discussing what makes them unhappy, but I don't agree that they'd be any happier if they did not do it. Some simply want to share their feelings, positive or negative, although I do know "venting" generally connotes the negative. For obvious reasons I don't speak much of our private life to C's employees, but I do vent to my friends. They know I'm happy overall and if C has done a thing that makes me unhappy, I know I can tell my friends and they are happy to listen to me. They won't interpret it to mean he's a bad person, but understand that everyone gets annoyed now and again with those they're close to. I do the same for them. It doesn't mean we don't respect our partners. I do think it's a true thing that in general, women interact on an emotional level much more than men. It's the way we're raised - sometimes it's a burden but most times it's a benefit. Eva (The property formerly known as Camille ) 29 Apr 09, 8:53 PM slave_nebulina US(KS), 3 yrs jakesemma wrote: Venting to your Owner is different in my opinion, than venting about how horrible he is to someone else. Posted with permission of Master Odin. Quite right -- i could never degrade my Master to someone else. That would be so disrespectful and those that do it in "jest" don't seem to realize the damage it does to a relationship even when the partner isn't around. nebulina Tortured by pleasure, Pleasured by pain, liberated by enslavement. Next page