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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "how to get back to where we began" how to get back to where we began (4) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Thu 9 Apr 09, 2:52 AM 487-640-109 US(NY), 5 yrs Y! Hello Aall, I'm sorry for the caps I'm on my phone and it automatically changes the font. That being said I need help, I was very much a submission who was totally willing to please my master who seemed to to some how over time become my boyfriend. And we lost our way I have become a jealous nag, and I hate myself for becoming this even worse I've become a snopper, and a jealous one at this master is a poly I am not so I have become a fishwife basiclly and I need help in changing my ways before it is to late, and I'm not sure that it is not to late now but I'm gonna try. Master said he was getting sick of this shit, so I'm gonna try so please any help advice I can really use thanks in advance, and sorry for any spelling errors, masterspet 9 Apr 09, 3:59 AM Nemesis_x UK, 4 yrs you should take the time to discuss why/when things changed. From my own experience (which i know isn't much ), when things start turning vanilla, for folks who were never suited to a vanilla relationship, there will always be conflict, uncertainty, paranoia, etc... because you know thats not what makes you happy. i don't doubt that you love your Master, but the possibility of poly shouldn't be brought into the equation until you have both sorted things out & worked on your own exclusive relationship. All types of relationships have their ups and downs. The best of luck to you both. lucy x 9 Apr 09, 4:24 AM slave_emma US(OK), 6 yrs Y! I am sorry to hear you are going through this difficult phase with your Master. The only way to solve this problem is to communicate your feelings in a respectful manner to your Master. From my experience dealing with the possibility of poly is very stressful and like you; I am a very jealous person. My personal feelings on the subject of poly has changed quite dramatically from one extreme to the other over the years. So I don't feel it is to out of the ordinary to feel jealousy and even to snoop around a little. One thing that has helped me is that my Master has made a commitment to me not to meet another woman without me being present and He is open and honest with me about the other person. I don't think that you can 'fix' your relationship yourself. It is going to take a lot of work and communication from both you and your Master. Best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 9 Apr 09, 12:38 PM 487-640-109 US(NY), 5 yrs Y! Thank you both so much for your thoughts it makes mme feel better already, I'm sure how commited he is to fixing it though, so I'm hoping that we can discuss it but I just very unsure of anything right now. 28 Apr 09, 8:37 PM slave_snow US(VA), 3 yrs Y! 487-640-109 wrote: how to get back to where we began Hello Aall, I'm sorry for the caps I'm on my phone and it automatically changes the font. That being said I need help, I was very much a submission who was totally willing to please my master who seemed to to some how over time become my boyfriend. And we lost our way I have become a jealous nag, and I hate myself for becoming this even worse I've become a snopper, and a jealous one at this master is a poly I am not so I have become a fishwife basiclly and I need help in changing my ways before it is to late, and I'm not sure that it is not to late now but I'm gonna try. Master said he was getting sick of this shit, so I'm gonna try so please any help advice I can really use thanks in advance, and sorry for any spelling errors, masterspet I can see your distress over these issues, and to be honest it seems as if there is more than one at the moment. My first thought is that it is a difficult journey for a monogomous person to co-exist in a relationship with a someone who is admittedly poly. Especially without support, guidance or direction from your master. Now my opinion, is just that. I do not expect nor want you to replace it for your own because only you know what fits and works in your life. However, oh... I want to be gentle here... you absolutely must communicate all of your fears, emotions and difficulties regarding your feelings and thoughts about this subject. I do not know if you are a primary partner/sub/slave or not, but what I do know is that I can clearly see that you are in the midst of a very real struggle. If you cannot seek help, guidance and nurturing from your master in this situation then I am most concerned. This is something that should immediately be addressed by your master, after all, you are his property and he should aim to keep you focused, healthy and always cared for. Many D/M view themselves as Owners, Caretakers/Teachers because they grasp the concept of owning a piece of human property which blossoms and becomes it's best when nurtured and shown a clear safe path in which growth is possible. I am afraid to say that it seems from your brief post that he has either become too frustrated with the issue, doesn't consider his mastership one of a nurturing/teaching style, or is simply abandoning his role altogether. If you research poly relationships, or speak with those who are active within a successful one, you may discover something very interesting. In most cases, there is a core relationship. That relationship has to be solid or in order to survive. It's paramount for the primary couple to always be honest and have trust in one another, if that fails, then problems will manifest. Which sounds exactly like what you are going through now. It is intimated by your post that you have had difficulties for some time. Ignoring them, by either yourself or him will do nothing to remedy the internal conflict. By nature, sub/slaves need their master's dominion. We require guidance, structure and a safe place for a healthy existence. Moreover we crave being able to let another control. It appears that he has let go of controlling the situation, and is no longer concerned with helping you through this ordeal. Your struggle should not be soley yours. My Master, requires me to come to Him whenever I hurt, if I cannot manage on my own, then He will undoubtedly listen, assess,instruct and offer me guidance. He knows that without His concern and active participation when I am conflicted that I will have a downward spiral of what can be self destructive behavior.W/we aim to never let it get that far. If the issue isn't effectively solved and or I attempt to got at it alone without the proper tools, I will fail. He doesn't wish for me to fail, or suffer. There is no way that I could be His slave and properly function without His direction and care. The impression I gleen is that you need alot from your master right now. Sit down, talk and find out if he stills wants the responsibilities of owning a slave. Goodness, it's certainly not a game. It's imperative that you know his motives and desires...and truly take the time to look inward and decide if your path is still the same. I am sorry for your heartache and pain... sincerely, snow