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	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "Struggling" Struggling (7) This post is on the Other Topics web board. Sat 4 Apr 09, 10:13 AM whorekitten US(WA), 3 yrs i have been hanging around here for a little while just reading posts and trying to get help without having to post, but after this evening i decided i should. It's been 5 hours since Master sent me to bed as of the time this is being posted, but it has become normal lately that i have trouble sleeping. Master and i have a complicated relationship. We met online in a MMORPG (World of Warcraft for those of you that care, just an online game for those of you that don't). He lives over 2000 miles away and at the moment there is no chance of us even meeting in RT anytime soon. We spend almost all of our time together in the game, and at the same time we talk over voice chat privately. Anyway, those details aside, i have been having a lot of trouble lately with my attitude. i have some recurring emotional issues and have been having a rough time recently (lost my job). i end up making Master angry at me quite often just by making a comment in a tone i didn't intend to use, or saying something that i immediately regret. i feel like these things wouldn't happen as much if Master were actually able to punish me for these things, but normally when it happens i just get sent to bed early. i find myself getting angry at Him for it even though all i want to do is apologize and be pleasant for Him. i hate making him angry. i guess i just want to know if anyone else has had this problem and what they or their Masters did to help resolve it. Thank you. (Sorry if this post isn't the most coherent, it's 2am here now.) Edit to clarify that our relationship is not 'fake' as in we do not just roleplay through the game pretending to be Master and slave. Warcraft is just where we met and in that sense it's no different than any other place people have met online. ~~jen~~ Seeking to understand what submission truly means to me. http://ronswhore.sensualwriter.com/ Edited Sun 5 Apr 09, 6:39 PM by whorekitten 5 Apr 09, 11:48 PM MasterOmerta88 US(IA), 3 yrs Y! You say that you feel things would improve if He could punish you... I have recently overcome the same problem with my LDR though it's not quite as extream a distance. There are many ways to enforce punishment in an LDR. One is a program called Fond of Writing. Look into it it helped My LDR tremendously... Also you can try things like removal of vices or set task that must be done as a punishment. One thing that you need to truly think about is will you be willing and able to take the punishment given without question or spite... If not then no punishment will help and you need to delve further into why you feel spited Edited 5 Apr 09, 11:56 PM by MasterOmerta88 6 Apr 09, 3:06 PM BaseOne UK, 6 yrs whorekitten wrote: Struggling He lives over 2000 miles no chance of us even meeting anytime soon. Have recurring emotional issues - having a rough (lost my job). i end up making Master angry -- what did Master do to help resolve it. Thank you. NO Master should ever be angry with you in your statement above. To answer your question, i include part of a slaves email i received once, but it shows you how i am, or how a real master should care for his slave in difficult times, and not just punish her, as you suggest he should. ================================ "Master is concerned with slaves life, debt, troubles, her time, well being. Taught slave about budgeting, finances, income verses spending. Taught differences between "want" and "needs". He cares, looks after her, keeps her safe, all previous others just selfishly filled their own needs unconcerned the effect it may have on her. Master came to be by His slaves side,( more than 2000 miles away ) hold her hand during trying times. ALL others sent me off alone to face things solo even when i was scared and shared no concern no interest. All others made Slave face the chaos ...alone" ================================ So your master can't cope, so he sends you to bed ??? Despicable, and uncaring of him. My personal thoughts are he cares only for the self gratification of his own ego, sends you to bed because it's easier than looking after you and your current troubles. He should be supporting you, discussing your fears about your lost job, - you have no money, which adds to anyones emotional issues. HE is making you face the chaos alone. So get a Master who cares, and not one that just fulfils your fantasies on line. 6 Apr 09, 5:28 PM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs Hmmm, let's see, you have some issues in your life right now AND you have just lost your job. Of course you are having some problems with your attitude!! Dealing with eveyday life can be stressful and losing your job pushes that stress up quite a few notches. You mention that you private chat with your Master. Is this only while you are on your game or do you spend time chatting at other times? If mostly on the game, you should request a set amount of time to cam and talk, away from the game. This will give you both a chance to concentrate on each other and communicate. You cannot get to know someone when you are gaming. That's like reading a book while having a conversation on the phone. You can't possibly concentrate on both. If you were to meet, you would sit face to face and talk. Online should be no different. It sounds like your Master does not understand how you feel right now. You need to talk frankly to him and explain what you are going through and the anxiety you feel. If he listens and supports you, that should lessen your anger towards him, if not, you may need to say goodbye and find someone nearby who really will have your best interests at heart. 333-528-841 6 Apr 09, 9:51 PM whorekitten US(WA), 3 yrs omerta88 wrote: One thing that you need to truly think about is will you be willing and able to take the punishment given without question or spite... If not then no punishment will help and you need to delve further into why you feel spited i did feel spited recently when Master gave me an order to do something I really didn't want to do. It wasn't anything that crossed boundaries, i was just being a brat. BaseOne wrote: So your master can't cope, so he sends you to bed ??? Despicable, and uncaring of him. My personal thoughts are he cares only for the self gratification of his own ego, sends you to bed because it's easier than looking after you and your current troubles. He should be supporting you, discussing your fears about your lost job, - you have no money, which adds to anyones emotional issues. Master isn't uncaring, and perhaps bringing out that one situation without explaining the rest was a bad idea. i wasn't communicating with Him at all when i got upset because i was simply having trouble opening up in such a difficult time. Therefore He couldn't do anything to help me and sent me to bed hoping that rest would do me good. Not that it did, as i couldn't sleep. :P 333-528-841 wrote: You mention that you private chat with your Master. Is this only while you are on your game or do you spend time chatting at other times? If mostly on the game, you should request a set amount of time to cam and talk, away from the game. This will give you both a chance to concentrate on each other and communicate. You cannot get to know someone when you are gaming. That's like reading a book while having a conversation on the phone. You can't possibly concentrate on both. If you were to meet, you would sit face to face and talk. Online should be no different. It sounds like your Master does not understand how you feel right now. You need to talk frankly to him and explain what you are going through and the anxiety you feel. If he listens and supports you, that should lessen your anger towards him, if not, you may need to say goodbye and find someone nearby who really will have your best interests at heart. We quite often talk outside of the game. (Phone, IM, text, voice chat, whatever.) We're in almost constant contact during the day. i am doing a lot better now because last night i did exactly what you had just suggested and set aside the game so we could just talk. After about two and a half hours i managed to get all my frustrations out there and Master helped me work through them. Thank you to those of you that responded, it was helpful. ~~jen~~ Seeking to understand what submission truly means to me. http://ronswhore.sensualwriter.com/ 6 Apr 09, 10:57 PM MasterOmerta88 US(IA), 3 yrs Y! whorekitten wrote: omerta88 wrote: One thing that you need to truly think about is will you be willing and able to take the punishment given without question or spite... If not then no punishment will help and you need to delve further into why you feel spited i did feel spited recently when Master gave me an order to do something I really didn't want to do. It wasn't anything that crossed boundaries, i was just being a brat. omerta88 wrote: Well there is a fine line between having troubles that affect your life and taking the troubles that affect your life out on somebody else.. As many people have said above He should care that your having troubles currently and help you through them but at the same time you need to make sure that your not just using them as an excuse to be a brat... That is one thing that I would take some serious inner reflection on while you feel spited just to make sure which side of the line you are on. All great things must first wear a horrible and monstrous mask to inscribe themselves on the hearts and minds of humanity Edited 6 Apr 09, 11:04 PM by MasterOmerta88 7 Apr 09, 6:31 AM whorekitten US(WA), 3 yrs omerta88 wrote: Well there is a fine line between having troubles that affect your life and taking the troubles that affect your life out on somebody else.. As many people have said above He should care that your having troubles currently and help you through them but at the same time you need to make sure that your not just using them as an excuse to be a brat... That is one thing that I would take some serious inner reflection on while you feel spited just to make sure which side of the line you are on. i got in a lot more trouble earlier on for a much more intentional variety of brattiness so i'm well aware that Master doesn't approve of that kind of behavior... While it's not quite as intentional, when i get really upset by something i cry like a child and communication of any kind is just difficult, though not always necessarily impossible... i know i do need to take the time to examine my feelings a bit more in depth, especially when i'm upset. Thank you for the suggestions. ~~jen~~ Seeking to understand what submission truly means to me. http://ronswhore.sensualwriter.com/ 9 Apr 09, 7:15 PM 721-832-383 US, 3 yrs she smiles and think she understands... For she herself can be quite the "pain". Just ask Him.. To her it simply sounds like you may be acting out of pure frustration. For really who does not get frustrated at times when the connection is so deep with in us to our Masters, even though they are so far from us at times.. Frustration of our inability at times to be touched, even though our Master Do touch us quite often within our hearts and our minds.. To be honest this one has delivered such attitude herself to Him, but He is the kind of Master who knows from where her frustration derives.. your Master probably knows the same thing..for it is us at times that don't quite understand it ourselves, but a Good Master Does.. so no fear.. smiles There are times she cannot believe the words that pass through her finger tips and go right to the screen... where they now can't be undone.. so yes, agreed LDR are not easy, but real time are not any easier either, but LDR are not less, please note..smiles Take care and she thinks it is natural to suffer from frustration in ANY relationship and bad behavior comes along with that, It is the job of our Masters to sort us out during these times and Always trust they have our best interest at heart.. she knows this very well. smiles to you... Edited 9 Apr 09, 7:19 PM by 721-832-383