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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Mental Punishments" 1 2 3 Mental Punishments (26) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 17 Jun 09, 5:14 AM Blissful_Deviant AU, 2 yrs Mental has always been far worse for me!! The worst for me was being left without aftercare after an emotionally intense physical punishment (you can see the post below on "Denied aftercare..." for the whole story). I was left on my own for a few days to contemplate and recharge... At the time I found it to be a bit outrageous and cruel of my Owner but now I see the affect it had - I am much better behaved and much keener to please my Owner and never repeat the same mistakes again... You know what they say, bruises heal but mental/emotional has a greater affect - I would prefer a physical punishment! Good luck! 17 Jun 09, 5:26 PM 957-909-675 US(PA), 3 yrs having to talk in 3rd person only ... and not being allowed to communicate when i was out of the house ... it was horrible not being able to ask for help... and it made me feel so little too. that was the worst 17 Jun 09, 5:28 PM Blissful_Deviant AU, 2 yrs Okay sorry, I was wrong. It's 2:30am here. Master and I were just talking online. He told me to read about something tomorrow, then went to bed. I, being the mischievous and curious slut I am, looked it up already... All articles on the most horrific rape and murder in my country's history, with graphic details that will haunt me for life and certainly give me nightmares tonight. I texted him, asking why he would expose me to such things, and especially tell me about them at night knowing full well I would look it up straight away? He said it was a test and I had failed, and part of my punishment was that I would be thinking about it tonight as I go to sleep. This is going to be awful! Why oh why am I so curious?? Maybe I should sleep with a knife lol 18 Jun 09, 3:25 AM slave_of_The_Tesh US(FL), 2 yrs I, too, was wrong. Tonight, Master and I were at a friend's house (We'll call this friend M) for dinner, with another friend (R). These friends are two of the three we have to know about O/our M/s lifestyle, so I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable with sitting on the floor at Master's feet while there. Master held O/our three-year-old son on the couch with Him. I was still able to participate in the conversation, keeping up with the banter as I always do. Somewhere in the conversation, something was said about some guy T/they know and Master said something along the lines of wanting to put a football helmet on someone's head. R asked him why, and Master said, "Because he's 'thpethial.'" That brought out my protective maternal instincts, because O/our son is disabled. I remember thinking that His remarks were uncalled for, wrong, and unfairly cruel to people who suffer from mental retardation and other disorders, especially because most of them are born with those problems. I flew off the handle unexpectedly. I don't recall doing this, but apparently I reached up, flicked him on the head and told him that it was bad enough that Kidlet would hear such things from his classmates, and he didn't need to hear it from his own father. At that point, M and R exchanged a look and went into the kitchen. Master told me to get off the floor and sit on the couch beside him. He stayed there for a minute, then handed Kidlet to me and went outside. I remember feeling like I had spoken out of turn, broken the rules and had upset him (I had on all three, but He still insists that I was right to react so strongly out of protection for O/our son). He had previously told me that I was not to feel like I had disappointed Him because of my last reaction to it, and I could feel that sneaking up on me. I put the baby down on the couch and asked R to keep an eye on him. I went into the bathroom to calm myself down, intending to only be a minute or two, and shut the door, and that's all I remember from there. Master says He came back inside and was told that I was in the bathroom, but that I never came out so He went to get me. He found me sitting in the bathtub with the shower curtain closed, arms around my curled-up legs, head down. He tells me that we coaxed me out of the tub, and that W/we went to the living room. It was apparently decided that He and I were to go to the store to buy chicken, and that the entire drive there He was trying to get me to tell Him what was wrong. He says all I could say was that I was lost and I didn't know where I was and I couldn't tell Him how to find me. He says I was having trouble breathing and I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't tell Him what was wrong. He dried my tears with His shirt and held me. I remember coming back to a monster of a headache, a runny nose, a pain in my chest, and no idea how the hell I got from the bathroom to WalMart. He explained all of it to me, and that spawned another discussion, in which I was a cognitive participant, throughout the store and all the way back to M's house. I told Him that I was almost certain that the reason I got lost was because I was abruptly pulled from where I wanted to be, where I *belonged*, to somewhere I didn't want to be, and there was a strange disconnect there. Sometime in that conversation it occurred to me that He has been changing Himself in ways for me, to keep me happy, and that made me all the more distraught. I never wanted Him to change who He was, and I never wanted it to seem as though I was forcing that change. He reassured me - several times - that He was simply maturing and I was helping that process, as hard as it is to do so. I had been sitting on a dining room chair feeding Kidlet. The boy was being uncooperative for me, so Master took him and I finished feeding him while Master and I talked. I confessed that I was terrified of losing any part of him, to which He responded with more of the same. After I cleaned the baby off, I fell back at His feet, unable to contain my tears. He told me to come to his side and to kneel taller, then a few other small commands - a kiss, and to put my hands behind my back. I obeyed without hesitation, which is fairly unlike me because I like to question commands out of pure curiosity for why He demands a particular thing, and He smiled. "I told you," I said to Him. "This is where you want to be?" He asked. I nodded. "Then here is where you will remain." More tears. Relieved this time, rather than afraid or apologetic. He walked me and R out to the car. I had to be at my house before dinner was going to be ready, so M packed some up for me. I was to take R home to get his car, and he would return for dinner and to eventually take Master home. I kissed Master's face in what is, it seems, to be our goodbye ritual - first His left cheek, then His right cheek, His forehead, His nose, His chin, and finally, His lips. He instructed me to go home and text Him as soon as I got there, then to eat and text Him when I was finished. He kissed me in the same way I had kissed Him - the first time He has ever done so - and we said our goodbyes. He says all is forgiven, but I still feel far away from Him. I have the shirt He used to dry my tears - He had changed into another shirt - because it smells like Him, and He told me to keep it to sleep in. For that I am very grateful. I hate feeling so far away from Him. I've been hugging His shirt all evening, and I'll change into it to sleep when I head toward bed. I told Him that I never wanted to go through this again. As much as I thought disappointing Him hurts me - and it does, enough for Him to give me a direct command to never feel like I've disappointed Him again because it affects me so badly - being ordered up from what I consider my rightful place because of what can only be described as a sudden, abrupt role reversal that never should have happened was FAR worse. It almost literally broke my spirit, and there was enough of a mental break that made me have some sort of amnesia for at least thirty minutes. Everything that happened between shutting the bathroom door and finding myself in the car in a parking lot might as well never have happened in my mind, because I have NO memory of ANY of it. That is a kind of punishment I never, ever want to go through again. Owned by The_Tesh This post has probably been edited for spelling/grammar because I'm weird like that. Edited 18 Jun 09, 3:32 AM by slave_of_The_Tesh 21 Jun 09, 2:56 PM Ou_pais US, 5 yrs slave_of_The_Tesh wrote: I, too, was wrong. Tonight, Master and I were at a friend's house (We'll call this friend M) for dinner, with another friend (R). These friends are two of the three we have to know about O/our M/s lifestyle, so I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable with sitting on the floor at Master's feet while there. Master held O/our three-year-old son on the couch with Him. I was still able to participate in the conversation, keeping up with the banter as I always do. Somewhere in the conversation, something was said about some guy T/they know and Master said something along the lines of wanting to put a football helmet on someone's head. R asked him why, and Master said, "Because he's 'thpethial.'" That brought out my protective maternal instincts, because O/our son is disabled. I remember thinking that His remarks were uncalled for, wrong, and unfairly cruel to people who suffer from mental retardation and other disorders, especially because most of them are born with those problems. I flew off the handle unexpectedly. I don't recall doing this, but apparently I reached up, flicked him on the head and told him that it was bad enough that Kidlet would hear such things from his classmates, and he didn't need to hear it from his own father. At that point, M and R exchanged a look and went into the kitchen. Master told me to get off the floor and sit on the couch beside him. He stayed there for a minute, then handed Kidlet to me and went outside. I remember feeling like I had spoken out of turn, broken the rules and had upset him (I had on all three, but He still insists that I was right to react so strongly out of protection for O/our son). He had previously told me that I was not to feel like I had disappointed Him because of my last reaction to it, and I could feel that sneaking up on me. I put the baby down on the couch and asked R to keep an eye on him. I went into the bathroom to calm myself down, intending to only be a minute or two, and shut the door, and that's all I remember from there. Master says He came back inside and was told that I was in the bathroom, but that I never came out so He went to get me. He found me sitting in the bathtub with the shower curtain closed, arms around my curled-up legs, head down. He tells me that we coaxed me out of the tub, and that W/we went to the living room. It was apparently decided that He and I were to go to the store to buy chicken, and that the entire drive there He was trying to get me to tell Him what was wrong. He says all I could say was that I was lost and I didn't know where I was and I couldn't tell Him how to find me. He says I was having trouble breathing and I couldn't stop crying and I couldn't tell Him what was wrong. He dried my tears with His shirt and held me. I remember coming back to a monster of a headache, a runny nose, a pain in my chest, and no idea how the hell I got from the bathroom to WalMart. He explained all of it to me, and that spawned another discussion, in which I was a cognitive participant, throughout the store and all the way back to M's house. I told Him that I was almost certain that the reason I got lost was because I was abruptly pulled from where I wanted to be, where I *belonged*, to somewhere I didn't want to be, and there was a strange disconnect there. Sometime in that conversation it occurred to me that He has been changing Himself in ways for me, to keep me happy, and that made me all the more distraught. I never wanted Him to change who He was, and I never wanted it to seem as though I was forcing that change. He reassured me - several times - that He was simply maturing and I was helping that process, as hard as it is to do so. I had been sitting on a dining room chair feeding Kidlet. The boy was being uncooperative for me, so Master took him and I finished feeding him while Master and I talked. I confessed that I was terrified of losing any part of him, to which He responded with more of the same. After I cleaned the baby off, I fell back at His feet, unable to contain my tears. He told me to come to his side and to kneel taller, then a few other small commands - a kiss, and to put my hands behind my back. I obeyed without hesitation, which is fairly unlike me because I like to question commands out of pure curiosity for why He demands a particular thing, and He smiled. "I told you," I said to Him. "This is where you want to be?" He asked. I nodded. "Then here is where you will remain." More tears. Relieved this time, rather than afraid or apologetic. He walked me and R out to the car. I had to be at my house before dinner was going to be ready, so M packed some up for me. I was to take R home to get his car, and he would return for dinner and to eventually take Master home. I kissed Master's face in what is, it seems, to be our goodbye ritual - first His left cheek, then His right cheek, His forehead, His nose, His chin, and finally, His lips. He instructed me to go home and text Him as soon as I got there, then to eat and text Him when I was finished. He kissed me in the same way I had kissed Him - the first time He has ever done so - and we said our goodbyes. He says all is forgiven, but I still feel far away from Him. I have the shirt He used to dry my tears - He had changed into another shirt - because it smells like Him, and He told me to keep it to sleep in. For that I am very grateful. I hate feeling so far away from Him. I've been hugging His shirt all evening, and I'll change into it to sleep when I head toward bed. I told Him that I never wanted to go through this again. As much as I thought disappointing Him hurts me - and it does, enough for Him to give me a direct command to never feel like I've disappointed Him again because it affects me so badly - being ordered up from what I consider my rightful place because of what can only be described as a sudden, abrupt role reversal that never should have happened was FAR worse. It almost literally broke my spirit, and there was enough of a mental break that made me have some sort of amnesia for at least thirty minutes. Everything that happened between shutting the bathroom door and finding myself in the car in a parking lot might as well never have happened in my mind, because I have NO memory of ANY of it. That is a kind of punishment I never, ever want to go through again. We have been through this kind of scenario as well--obviously not exactly alike in all details, but similar in several. And i continue to have horrible reactions whenever i feel i've disappointed Him. It doesn't feel like punishment, to me. It feels like the end of the world. To me, punishment is what He does to me on purpose to teach me. The worst punishment was when He told me He couldn't tell from my behavior whether i really wanted to belong to Him. And i think this was the worst punishment not only because it was very painful but because it didn't have the learning effect He had intended and in fact contributed to worse behavior because i became very insecure and after that for a while i would occasionally "test" to see whether He would, in fact, release me if i messed up enough (subconsciously). He hasn't punished me purposefully for a couple years (He prefers other methods of adjusting my behavior) but disappointing Him is still awful. The panic-attack kinds of reactions are something that just happen without Him doing it to me on purpose. Those, as well as good non-punishment physical scenes, can be great catharsis and also help fuel my motivation to please and serve Him without it necessarily being punishment (in the sense i think of it) at all. pais 20 Jul 09, 3:38 PM tink838 US(NJ), 2 yrs I detest mental punishments! They are usually the most effective and make me squirm all day.