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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Extreme relationship = extreme break-ups?" Extreme relationship = extreme break-ups? (8) Mon 16 Feb 09, 5:51 PM Omocha CA, 16 mths As everyone seems to have noticed, people left right and centre seem to be left and leaving each other in their respective relationships. It's almost like the opposite of what you see during spring when everyone finds love...but back to topic: For us M/sers it seems that everything that we do in relationships is passionately explosive beyond the normalcy of relationships. As an example,slaves get tattoos with their Master's names, and Masters are served tireslessly by another. It's hard enough when people break up with each other. Imagine what harsh impact there is when you lean so straight-forwardly on another. It's everything that vanillas are always trying to fight against, this dependance on another...yet we do it willingly and lovingly.... I think M/s people would likely go through much more turmoil than the average bear would proceeding a break-up...but that's just my thoughts on the subject. 16 Feb 09, 9:00 PM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 4 yrs Y! Breakups are really hard no matter what you relationship style is. I've suffered from both the vanilla and the kinky breakups. I can attest to the hurt in both types. It aint pretty! Call me LL 16 Feb 09, 9:33 PM jjsslave US(OH), 2 yrs Y! i think its hard no matter if your in a vanilla relationship or an M/s relationship. However i do see your point and have to say that with as much as i depend on Master for soo many things to lose that would quite possibly destroy me. Being Masters slave has enabled me to truly discover not only who i am as a person but also what i'm capable of. Without His guidance i dont think i would have made it this far or thru so many hard ships. Slaves depend on their Masters for soo many things from financial needs sometimes to definitely emotional needs. Many even giving up their "identity" simply to become what fulfills them most their Masters slave. When a break up occurs i can see where that alone could become a crisis of sorts. And Masters even if they are the one that executes the break up ( which in an IE relationship would most likely be the case) theres for lack of better terms an after care that a responsible Master should see to and even help the slave with such as getting them back on their feet, helping them with housing, and guiding them back to where they can function on their own again. 16 Feb 09, 10:16 PM 662-935-655 3 yrs having had 3 break-ups from a vanilla standpoint and having my Master die, i can say that having Him die was alot worse to me - but then all of my break-ups were really bad, with active alcoholics/addicts, myself being one of the same in the first 2 situations and newly recovering in the 3d. But at least when someone broke up with me i could have the relief of being angry, writing nasty letters in my journal and/or burning them, walking it off - when i could still walk - with Master's death, i personally didn't feel much but agony for a long time and still, after 15 months, much of the time as opposed to all the time in the recent past. But i must admit that it's "Fascinating" (a la Spock of Star Trek) that a Master posted this to me - i'd never thought of Master's getting HURT by this stuff. i'd thought of them being accused legally of the crime of abuse, but not being hurt. Yet i know my late Master would have been devastated if W/we'd broke up after my collaring, i just didn't think that most Masters would be. Thank You for opening my eyes to this. j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! alias "granny" matrika ye olde crone, blessed be! 16 Feb 09, 11:46 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 4 yrs I had several relationships with subs in the past, before my current slave boy. Some lasted a matter of weeks, some a couple of years. In every case, they left me. (For the record, in every case they also swore that it was nothing I'd done wrong, it was just that they lost interest or our relationship had brought up huge steaming piles of issues for them.) For the shorter ones, oh well. For the longer ones ... that hurt hard. Harder, I'd say, than a vanilla relationship. Why? Because the D/s is where I allow myself to put the really possessive part of myself. I dig my claws in and don't want to let go. In an egalitarian (and especially a poly egalitarian) relationship, I can't do that. I have to hold a part of myself back, always, which is why it's so good to have a place to put that. But it means that when they left me, it was like ripping off a piece of skin. OK, yeah, they were unsuitable in the long run, it was destined to not make it, etc. ...but damn, it hurt. That's why IE is so wonderful, once I got the right boy. There'll be no more of that sort of thing, period. Ever. It's quite literally till death do us part. (And yes, Death is a bitch. But still.) -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 31 Mar 09, 11:32 PM Dreamshaper US(FL), 19 mths I have had many "vanilla" relationships and consequently many breakups, the worst being the death of my second wife, which led me to be extremely careful about getting into another. That one ending because some obsessive/compulsive behaviors that were emotionally injurious to me. Then I found this site, and all you wonderful and learned people. Guess what, dredged up form a place I thought was dead and buried came a part of me that I thought had no place in my life. Because try as I might I could not find (and came to believe) there just were no women on this planet that would voluntarily give themselves to serve and service a man the way a slave does. I was of the opinion that the only way to get the slave I wanted was either to purchase her or find and unwanted one born of a slave. Being of the mindset much the same as Raven Kaldra, having short term M/s relationships ripped apart in my younger years it is taking me some time to find the one I want to posses. Losing relationships is hard, losing a slave is like taking a piece of me and throwing it into a dumpster, it is not a pleasant sight. I have a tendency to go a little wacko. MasterFred Am I Master because she is slave, or is she slave because I am Master? 2 Apr 09, 8:28 AM 219-321-559 US, 2 yrs Y! *nods* yes, M/s relationship breakups are much harder than vanilla ones..in my humble opinion. I just recently went though one..not so much even a breakup so much as my so called "master" up and left in the middle of the night while my mate and I were at a movie. He was living with us and we went out to a movie and when we came back there was a note telling me I was now masterless. I had to hunt for the key to my collar as he didn't even have the consideration to fulfill his last obligation as an owner and see to it that he either removed said collar, or left the key in an easy to find place. This was almost 2 months ago now, and I'm still dealing with many issues, some from how he left, and some from how he treated me in the first place. I won't go into it all here, but sufice it to say, I have to agree that yes it is much harder, and for a slave it tends to mean that you have to compleatly refind and define yourself again, since at least in my case I defined myself around what he wanted. Remember to always try, never dismissing things out of hand. Always do your best in life and make the most of the good times. This is living without regrets. 2 Apr 09, 6:31 PM EvaMaria US(CA), 20 mths I don't think it's any more realistic to generalize re: M/s than it is conventional relationships. The use of ritual and/or maso/sadistic behaviours does give a more physically dramatic atmosphere, but it's the combination of commitment, investment and emotional health that dictates the nature of the break-up. I suppose it's possible that the nature of M/s is attractive to some as a compensatory situation, which would then cause additional trauma with a break-up. But I'm not sure that's the case. And even if it is, there's plenty of that in all types of relationships. Eva (The property formerly known as Camille ) 3 Apr 09, 12:35 AM Master_Odin US(KS), 17 mths Omocha wrote: Extreme relationship = extreme break-ups? I think M/s people would likely go through much more turmoil than the average bear would proceeding a break-up...but that's just my thoughts on the subject. Having talked with several slaves that have been abandoned after a certain amount of internal enslavement was in place I am of the opinion that slaves that have begun IE do seem to experience more turmoil and difficulty than I have seen in most vanilla break ups. YMMV Selah There is no authority, only responsibility.