| TO BE HONEST i am dreading it. Febuary is hard for me - today is the birthday of the younger of the 2 boys i gave up for adoption, the 10th is my actual Dad's death anniversary and then there is Valentine's day - and early March is the sealing of O/our marriage in His Church of His ordination for eternity.
Between that and having taken ANOTHER bad fall in my home-- becoming the new poster child for "i've fallen and i can't get up" ads i think -- i am also sore all over and so not able to get out to that Church as i was hoping too on the one nicer day we're supposed to have in this horrid winter and not for the week as i have no medical appointments. (homebound due to severe disabilities) And not being a pain person i am not enjoying being soar all over.
i guess i have to work on my gratitude list because with my fears of the future - probably having to move, if i can find a place actually better - and the pain (real, not mellowdrama) of the past, i find myself with one foot on the past and one in the future and peeing all over today, as my AA program might put it.
But i STILL say it was worth it for the good time Master and i did have - and it is better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all, etc. And i will come out of his - having been here and done this before, i know. But, hey, someone has to keep the Kleenex facial tissue folks in business, right? The main reason i want to get through it and out the other side is i know Master would not want me to be this miserable.
Yet when i am in pain to begin with and i can't take the narcotic pain killers because i have an addictive personality and i know i can't trust me with them. Also this is chronic ongoing pain and if i develop tolerance to them, then if something worse - like cancer- happens, they wouldn't work well, so i don't want to go down this road. And the OTHER half or the pain-killers i can't take due to my kidney problems, well it gets so i'm just a grouch. and i'm more sore than usual today, so i'm bumming bad.
First i was blue from extreme cold, now it's somewhat nicer and i'm blue from having the blues - i guess blue is my color this year! But yet i would say to the OP make the best of what Y/you have and find Y/your OWN way to celebrate it - me in a red lingerie or wrapped up with a bright red bow and nothing else, seemed to work for U/us on both Christmas and Valentine's day. W/we also liked to go out to eat for celebrations - as He did the cooking, so by taking Him out if i could, it made it a day off for Him too. (Although He loved cooking) i wrote Him a poem once and He loved it - so i'd often write an original poem instead of some expensive card. Alternatively, you cooking Him His favorite food or writing a song or a drawing, wherever your actual talents that He (or She) appreciates is a good choice for any slave/sub for their Owner/Dom on Valentine's day- after all buying something can be a problem when one is in a relationship where they and all their worldly goods have been turned over to another, as is the case for a good many of us.
Y/you all want to know what bugs me about vanilla valentine's day and many other holidays in the USA at least, nowadays? Well Y/you probably don't, but i'll tell Y/you anyways, just to be cantankerous as old age allows for.
It seems more and more a box of candy, card, going out to eat at a chinese place or a less-than-exorbitant other place is being made out to be not enough - more and more if one doesn't buy one's Love diamonds or such like, it's not enough. And i think buying into this is setting up a lot of my vanilla friends and acquaintances to be "disappointed" by their husband's very best efforts - esp. in this economy. i think we slaves may be lucky in that we don't have expectations as much - which my AA program and others have defined as "expectations are planned disappointments"!
Hey it worked with kids and Xmas/Channukah/Solstice/Kwanza or whatever and commercializing that with their birthdays and birthday parties - which are no longer enough unless one hires payed entertainment, etc. Now they are trying to commercialize adult woman - and with the ads as well as soap-operas, romance novels and chick-flicks as well as sit-coms with men as idiots more times than not, i feel really bad for the vanilla male trying to live up to it all.
i truly think keeping it simple and sweet is so much why my female slave/sub friends are so much happier than most of my vanilla friends, with a few exceptions in the Church of my late Master's ordination - which stresses simplicity.
i'll get off my soap-box now. But to me, simple and sweet makes it truly NEAT! (sorry, couldn't resist - Punaholic and bad poetry are some of my major shortcomings) But to the OP , a red butt may be a perfect valentine - esp. to those into S & M as well as M/s. (HUGE GRIN) - that would please Y/you both. then there's always putting chocalate on a certain part of the anatomy and, well, Y/you get the picture - a fun way to get and give one's valentine's the traditional chocolate. (GRIN)
This is good for me - fond memories! Thanks for asking, i'm in a better mood than when i started posing.
(GRANNY Matrika is feeling like one very OLDE crone today and i do wish the Tin-Man of Oz would pass me the oil can - who knew i'd be sober 21 2/3 years and still be STIFF!) j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! alias "granny" matrika ye olde crone, blessed be!
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