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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Childhood influences on lifestyle choices ?" 1 2 3 4 Childhood influences on lifestyle choices ? (37) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Mon 2 Feb 09, 12:43 PM Mistress_Tiaras_boy 5 yrs Hi , i often spend time thinking about how i came to be in an M/s relationship. As part of these thoughts, i recently started to consider what influence my parents may have had, either by way of Nature or Nurture or both, during my childhood, on my submission to my Owner. i began to think about their individual traits and personalities, as well as how they interacted as a couple during my childhood. i tried to analyse this from those childhood memories and seeing how they relate now to my knowledge of the subject area. i considered their overt and covert behaviour and came up with some interesting conclusions. Obviously, i accept my childhood memories will be possibly tarnished/tainted by many influences, however, i believe i managed to get an accurate as possible overall picture of them as individuals and as a couple. Whilst many of us try not to think too much about our parents/caregivers in terms of any type of their lifestyle preferences and practices, i find this aspect in relation to M/s and D/s quite intriguing. So, to the question, (finally I hear some of you scream) As either a Dominant or an s-type, do you recognise similar traits in yourself that may have been present in your parents/caregivers, in relation to dominance or submission, during your childhood years? Secondly, if any such dominance/submission existed in parents/caregivers relationships to either a greater or lesser degree, do you consider your own inclinations to have been influenced by Nature, Nurture or a combination of the two? Or do you consider that it had no influence upon your own inclinations? Or perhaps you chose to deliberately 'rebel' against your formative upbringing It would be great to hear your views on this. Best wishes n Mistress Tiara's beloved boy. 2 Feb 09, 2:20 PM 000-538-715 7 yrs While i don't see any traits in myself from my parents that have influenced my desire to be a slave, the general treatment i received as a child has definitely shaped my desires. Both of my parents didn't hesitate to use corporal punishment if i misbehaved. Two incidents in particular seem to remain in my mind and are probably the biggest influence on my submissive attitude and masochistic tendencies. Both of those incidents involved my Mom. The first was when i was punished with a spanking for lying about playing with myself. i was quite young and received a hair brush spanking while naked. The second also involved getting caught in a lie again and my Mom used a belt on me while i was bent over a stool and naked. Both incidents produced a very strong erection before the pain made it wilt. There were many other incidents of corporal punishment, usually on my bare ass but i think these two incidents, more than anything else, shaped my desire to be enslaved by a woman. Edited 2 Feb 09, 2:23 PM by 000-538-715 2 Feb 09, 6:37 PM Andrin DE, 3 yrs Interesting question n, never thought about it. Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: As either a Dominant or an s-type, do you recognise similar traits in yourself that may have been present in your parents/caregivers, in relation to dominance or submission, during your childhood years? None. My parents were a very loving vanilla couple. Extremely dedicated to each other. Both marked by traumatic experiences in the Third Reich. So they actually considered anything kinky as sick. Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: Secondly, if any such dominance/submission existed in parents/caregivers relationships to either a greater or lesser degree, do you consider your own inclinations to have been influenced by Nature, Nurture or a combination of the two? Or do you consider that it had no influence upon your own inclinations? Or perhaps you chose to deliberately 'rebel' against your formative upbringing I've always been the leader of the gang; from Kindergarden days to now. Not because I was the strong guy who dominated the others by force. But because it mostly turned out that I had the better reasoning. How come? No idea. Don't think that it has to do with family background. Andrin 2 Feb 09, 7:29 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs My parents were both dominant. Unfortunately, they were also both violently mentally ill, so I have had ample example of what it is like to be at the mercy of out-of-control dominants. They tried very, very hard to turn me into submissive. It didn't work. -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 2 Feb 09, 8:23 PM crystalredroze US(OH), 4 yrs Y! i dont feel any of my upbringing really influenced me to this lifestyle choice. However i was brought up in a home with a very dominate mother but she was also very destructive in many ways. There was no abuse or physical punishments. If anything, ive tried to be as least like her as possible. She was and still is very maniulative , so much so that i have had to write her out of my life. i remember a while back when i was letting her live with me and she contr5oled my household to the point where i literally gave it all to her and left to start life over with her out of the picture, that was about 2 years ago and i havent had any contact with her sense. before i left i was trying to figure out what was next in life for me, Master and i were talking then and his words cut me like a knife when he compared Him and i living together as being like mom living with me. He used her as a comparing point. i didnt understand it, to me that was the worst thing he could have used as a comparison point, but now i wonder if he was in a way right. i mean here now with Master i am his very willing slave for any and all of His desires. With mom it was unwilling yet i guess i would cave in with her. i apoligize for rambling on here but as ive been writing ive also been searching in my own mind because maybe mom does have more to do with my life choice than i thought. If everyone wants to overlook this post thats fine but thank you for starting it as i think its broguht to life a connection i didnt see before. 2 Feb 09, 10:14 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs In regards to Joshua ... his father left when he was young and he was raised by a benign but busy single mother. His male role models consisted of the weak absent father and the thuggish uncles. He doesn't think there's anything related to his childhood in the fact that he sought out dominant older men, especially ones with strict codes of honor. I think he's trying to recreate the father experience that he never got, in some way. OK, he could just be attracted to older men because ... he is. And he's service-oriented just because ... he is. And he does best in a power dynamic because ... he does. But still. There's behavior that reeks of father issues. Not that he would ever do ageplay - well, OK, he'd try to struggle through it because he would do anything I asked, but he wouldn't like it at all. He wasn't really a kid when he was a kid (we have that in common) and he doesn't know how to be a kid now. But I'm sure that he picked his partners on the basis of his early issues. Hopefully this means that his relationship with me is *resolving* those issues. -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 2 Feb 09, 10:30 PM 483-608-929 US(OH), 4 yrs Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: Childhood influences on lifestyle choices ? As either a Dominant or an s-type, do you recognise similar traits in yourself that may have been present in your parents/caregivers, in relation to dominance or submission, during your childhood years? Secondly, if any such dominance/submission existed in parents/caregivers relationships to either a greater or lesser degree, do you consider your own inclinations to have been influenced by Nature, Nurture or a combination of the two? My Mom was very submissive. Unfortunately, she married the wrong Dominant man who proved to be very abusive and very possessive. When she dared to divorce him, he would not give up his hold and the only true freedom came when he finally died. I would watch my Mom try to be the perfect 50's wife, dinner on the table, very clean house, baking, etc.... I always thought that would be a good foundation for a marriage. With the right man, who did not abuse the power, I knew I could be a wife who could submit and be happy. Unfortunately, when I married, I instead followed her path and married an abusive type. I think we do follow in our parents footsteps, either because we have learned that behaviour or we have so many similarities in us that it is natural for us to follow their paths, too. I know I learned the image of what I thought a wife should be from watching my Mom. She would have done so well if the man had been a good Dominant type. Written by it with its Owner's permission. Thank you SIR. Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom. Marilyn Ferguson Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together 3 Feb 09, 7:35 AM 119-812-164 US, 3 yrs I was raised by parents who are still together and married when I was three. My father/step-father was a very Dominant man with a very bad temper and my mother was submissive in *no* way, although when things came to the bottom line she would default to a traditional perspective on things. My father was the man of the house and we were to respect him. My father was admittedly harder on me than the three biological children he had with my mother after marrying, he says, because I was 'bull-headed and obstinate' in his words. In my words I wouldn't submit as my sisters did. as often as I would stand toe To toe with him, he stood his ground. All of this speaks very much to who I became. I am very much like him and this played very much into my time as a Domina, which was a wholly unemotional function for me. But as my fathers daughter, the feeling of being highly strung and strong willed and knowing the safe feeling of having someone even stronger to control me And keep me in my place is without doubt the driving force and dynamic behind my M/s relationship. Sometimes I feel I am making the smarter choice now to submit and obey that I was too young and arrogant to make then, but also realize the reasons (too much to go into) that I couldn't fully submit then. I respond to loving Dominance positively and my Master/Daddy is very much a reflection of needs I developed from my own contentious early years - without a doubt in my mind. It seems terribly cliche to me, but it is what it is I suppose. There's no dearth of kindness In this world of ours; Only in our blindness We gather thorns for flowers. --(Thomas) Gerald Massey 3 Feb 09, 1:53 PM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: As either a Dominant or an s-type, do you recognise similar traits in yourself that may have been present in your parents/caregivers, in relation to dominance or submission, during your childhood years? i grew up in a very dysfunctional household with two very dominant parents who were prone to violence when they butted heads (which was constant). So, no, i do not share these traits. Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: Secondly, if any such dominance/submission existed in parents/caregivers relationships to either a greater or lesser degree, do you consider your own inclinations to have been influenced by Nature, Nurture or a combination of the two? Ha! my submissive nature was self preservation. i walked softly and tried desperately to please everyone in the household so i wouldn't come under fire. i guess that would fall under nurture? i certainly wasn't nurtured to be dominent. Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: Or do you consider that it had no influence upon your own inclinations? Or perhaps you chose to deliberately 'rebel' against your formative upbringing After my mother left my father, i lived with her. She was and still is a very dominent woman. i watched as she pushed everyone who tried to get close to her away with her special brand of feminism. i have, whether deliberately or not, rebelled to be the person i am. Though she tried to teach me to be a force to be reckoned with... i find life easier when i just accept and not fight everything. p i breathe because He allows me, indulging Him indulges me. 3 Feb 09, 2:56 PM Mistress_Tiara 5 yrs Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: As either a Dominant or an s-type, do you recognise similar traits in yourself that may have been present in your parents/caregivers, in relation to dominance or submission, during your childhood years? My first answer was, absolutely none what so ever. On deeper consideration though two things spring to mind. First that my Mother was single & I consciously opted to become a single parent. For me this was a positive choice, born of the same self reliance etc that is part of my dominant personality. The other is that there is probably a highly fucked up link to my Sadism in there somewhere, although I catagorise that as a wierd nurture response too. Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: Secondly, if any such dominance/submission existed in parents/caregivers relationships to either a greater or lesser degree, do you consider your own inclinations to have been influenced by Nature, Nurture or a combination of the two? I believe my own inclinations are without doubt primarily a result of nurture. The extent of nature is not one I can clearly judge though. Mistress_Tiaras_boy wrote: Or do you consider that it had no influence upon your own inclinations? Or perhaps you chose to deliberately 'rebel' against your formative upbringing My upbringing absolutely shaped who I am, despite my answers above. It just happened in a very unusual way. Many of the life skills that I have now transferred into dominance, were formed in me from a very young age. Some of these are things that have simply carried through ie: being self reliant, able to handle a crisis, able to cope in extreme situations, being fiercly protective, having a definite sense of boundary that never blurs etc. Others are traits that earlier in my life manifested as extreme submissive behaviours, as self preservation mechanisms, which have now turned into traits that work for me in terms of dominance, such as being very hard to phase or shake up or provoke, perserverence and the ability to focus on bigger picture thinking. I had a very extreme childhood (by objective outside standards, not simply my own assessment), and experienced many things that most people happily never do. Although this was obviously a negative experience in it's own right however, and caused me a great deal of suffering at the time and subsequently, I have also gained many positive attributes as a result of it, and overall am quite happy now. I simply can't really imagine being any other way - this is just me. One other variable that is worth mentioning is that at the latter stages of my childhood (from 13 onwards) I lived with, and of course had to interact with, hundreds of different people (many of whom were 'extreme') and as such experienced a diverse range of influences. I believe that once again, although this was a very unpleasant part of my life, it further altered my developmental pattern and taught me many things by giving me a large number of peoples actions, views and opinions to observe and learn from. 'If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these together ought to be able to turn it back and get it right side up again'. Sojourner Truth. 4 Feb 09, 3:06 AM mokvohk US(WA), 7 yrs Y! i've thought about this before and not come up with any solid conclusions. Am a male, hetero s-type and i grew up with a happy, vanilla couple of parents and a few sisters. However, at the cusp of my teen years, we lost my dad, leaving just my (definitely not demanding) mom with us kids. So, subservient to women, raised by women, surrounded by women, but always given lots of space and freedom, as the only boy and in-general . . . am i a product of my environment? i am really not entirely sure, though some may think it sounds all 'nurture' . . . i still think there's more than i can see of it. - mok my submission is a gift, granted out of love. Edited 4 Feb 09, 3:07 AM by mokvohk Next page