This page sponsored by Mr. S Leather, San Francisco    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "Internal Rebellion & Bad Days" Internal Rebellion & Bad Days (5) This post is on the Other Topics web board. Thu 29 Jan 09, 10:13 AM anjuli UK, 4 yrs I'm opening up a thread on this subject here as I promised I would do for shary... better late than never I hope! Her questions came up on the submission board where people's ideas and answers probably weren't that helpful to her because we have the luxury <laughs> of our M's being present to deal with these times, even if it is to send us off into a corner. I laugh because obviously that luxury is a double-edged sword and we have our own challenges in dealing with those moments - being able to hide doesn't work with your M in your face... going off and being on your own isn't an option if he won't allow it as mine doesn't! Anyway, MistressTiara's boy was asking how different couples deal with days where s-types rebel and feel anger for some reason or none and shary asked this... shary wrote: Because i am new to being a slave i was wondering this myself. What happens if i have a bad day? i dont know yet, my Master and i dont live together (yet) so i dont know how He would react. But i do think i could always tell Him how i feel. i do know i can tell Him everything. Is communication not the most important issue? Sure, i am going to serve Him as an obidiant slave, i would do everything for Him. But are slaves not as human as their Masters or Mistresses? Even a Master has a bad day, now and then. Would you, as a slave, not want to know that? i let my Master read this, He gave me permission to place this post. shary, owned by Master Bart Of course she's reading both boards so that she can learn for when they do live together but really she needs some input from those of you who have to deal with such things at long-distance, and that I can't help her with so I said I'd kick this off and see if people would share... hope you will. thanks anjuli ps Sorry it's taken me so long shary! *** “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Anais Nin *** 29 Jan 09, 6:40 PM thekittenpup 4 yrs Of course i say that communication is foremost. But as often in ldr's its not face-to-face, i would stress ensuring that you are clear with the underlying feeling you are trying to get across. One way i do this, as Andrew does is smilies. That way you are able to help get the underlying emotion out. Its a bit sillky but it works. Also you can ask for some time to work through the emotion. "i am sorry Master but i am overly emotional. My i answer Your question tomorrow?" As the M cannot see just how worked up you are you simply have to say so. Just as important is honesty. i find that just the thought of dishonesty or withdrawel of information eats at me. i hope this helps some... NOT SEEKING MEN ONLY SEEKING WOMEN http://onmyknees.sensualwriter.com/ "When you want it, it goes away too fast, the times you hate it, it always seems to last" ~ The Speed of Pain, Marilyn Manson 29 Jan 09, 8:22 PM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs Everyone has bad days. It's part of life whether it's related to work, relationships or life in general. My work takes me away for 15 days at a time. I then get 7 days off which are spent with my M. When apart, we text numerous times a day, IM or cam nightly and talk on the phone occasionally. He always seems to know if i am in a bad mood or sulking about something. i don't know how he knows this but he gets it right every time, even to when i give a fake smile on IM, lol! i think as LD couples really get to know each other, tone of voice, words chosen and even style of writing become second nature, the same as body language or facial expressions for those together all the time. Being able to vent about the problem or getting his opinion on it is a great help to me to turn myself and my mood/attitude around. It comes down to the communication, being open and honest and being able to truly share everything. Just being able to talk/text/IM with Dale grounds me and turns my mindset around. 30 Jan 09, 2:28 PM bbound UK, 9 yrs When I've had bad days, my Mistress simply tells me to snap out of it. She won't allow me to become self-centred. It's only happened a couple of times, and Her approach has worked! If my bad mood has caused Her any displeasure, it is noted in my punishment diary and I am punished accordingly at our weekly discipline/punishment sessions. This makes sure I am reminded that it is Her pleasure that comes before any feelings I may have. 7 Feb 09, 11:52 PM 119-812-164 US, 3 yrs shary wrote: ... What happens if i have a bad day? ... ... Even a Master has a bad day, now and then. Would you, as a slave, not want to know that? I have to say that my relationship is highly liminal as it is not either 24/7 live in domestic or long distance -- but both as we merge two lives, each parentally responsible for other lives, three households, four careers, two businesses, and three locales into one cohesive lifestyle. It has been the best and worst of emotional times and I am fortunate enough to have a Master who is always there for me whether we are physically together or not -- but more importantly, He gives me the gift of full disclosure. That means that when I confide my weakness or loneliness to him, while I can always count on his support and/or discipline, also, I can count on his strength at being able to admit to me that as lost as I might feel, he, as well, can feel lost without me, too. At these moments, I feel myself rise up inside and become his strength, even if I might feel it difficult to be strong for myself. His ability to be honest with me is a sign of real Mastery and strength in my opinion, and from that real strength, I, too, feel real strength. Smiles, grl There's no dearth of kindness In this world of ours; Only in our blindness We gather thorns for flowers. --(Thomas) Gerald Massey 9 Feb 09, 5:24 AM 662-935-655 5 yrs For me that had to do with hormonal cycles which hit me very hard when i had them. let's just say that at such times i did not share the optimism of the one who wrote the song "i enjoy being a girl" and neither did anyone around me enjoy my being female. Most of this was over before i got collared, back then we called it killer PMS from hell, but now a days it's called PMDD - and there are treatments for it. other slaves i know have struggled with this during pregnancy, post-partum depression and menopause. Master, before collaring me, told me He saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that said "all women's problems begin with Men - Mental Illness, Menopause, Menstruation...' And if He ever saw it for sale, He'd get me one- but He was NOT about to ask her where she got said shirt. if it's that kind of thing, Bless you shary! if it's something else, i don't think i can help as having been married to my late Master a decade before the collaring, most other internal reservations had been dealt with already. and again, bless you my dear! j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! alias "granny" matrika ye olde crone, blessed be!