This page sponsored by Madame S, San Francisco    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "When the Pros outweigh the Cons" When the Pros outweigh the Cons (4) This post is on the Other Topics web board. Sun 25 Jan 09, 10:28 PM Timesamyth 3 yrs I've debated asking for help. I've been mulling it over for days and days and I'm getting a little confused... I met my Daddy on CM. We've been in a LDR/OLR for about five or six months. So far, everything has been going very well, with only a few rough edges; He has respected my limits, pushed me, kept in contact with me as often as possible, is very intelligent, caring and has really made me open up a lot more. He appears to be my ideal Dom. (obviously it can't be sealed until we meet up). However, from the very beginning I let Him know that I would not be able to have a poly relationship.(in the future. The plan is for me to move in with him after I finish college. Which comes after dates and RT) I have no problems with playmates, but sharing love is a hard limit for me. I told Him I would walk out if there was even a hint that our relationship was going in that direction. He agreed to no poly. Recently I've noticed that He's been seeking out other woman.. all young, attractive, etc. Online of course. He uses my account to look for them, but doesn't make any attempt to hide what He's doing. Normally I wouldn't mind but He's encouraging a potential poly relationship (for the future) and that worries me. He is not a bad Daddy by any means: He is handsome, creative, older, caring, trustworthy, employed. I can tell from the way He acts, thinks and deals with things that He has had plenty of experience. The pros outweigh the cons.... My question is.. because of my feelings on poly... and His attempts to override my hard limit..do I have a good enough of an excuse for severing whatever tie we have? Just walking. Even though it would be really hard for me and I don't want to do that. I will go with my gut instinct eventually, yes, but if you were in my situation what would be the best route? Thanks for reading "A woman who does not become the slave of just one man becomes the slave of all men." - Jose Bergamin 26 Jan 09, 12:58 AM thekittenpup 4 yrs In my honest opinion yes it is a good enough reason. As there are certain things certain people are simply inable to handle, especially if it is with a pruior understanding of this, and the backwards, amlost sneaky way, he is going about it, in my eyes it is a breach of trust. Talk to him first, but a hard limit is a hard limit for a reason. You should be spoken to about it first, not snuck around behind. Good luck and listen to your instincts. NOT SEEKING MEN ONLY SEEKING WOMEN http://onmyknees.sensualwriter.com/ "When you want it, it goes away too fast, the times you hate it, it always seems to last" ~ The Speed of Pain, Marilyn Manson 26 Jan 09, 4:23 AM 333-528-841 CA, 3 yrs Think of how you would feel if a boyfriend in a vanilla relationship used your profile on another site looking for for women. Would that be acceptable to you? If not, why would you accept it now? IMO, this is not respecting your limits. You say he has agreed to no poly but then uses your account to seek out others. This is something that should have been discussed. It is possible that this is his way of bringing you around to what he wants. Even so, it shows a lack of open, honest communication which is so important in any type of relationship as well as giving you trust issues. You need to decide what is important to you. If being poly is something you know you will never be comfortable with and this is something that deep down you know he will encourage, then you know what you have to do. Six months is not a long time in comparison to years of pent up resentment that could follow. 26 Jan 09, 4:26 PM monika_Pana_Piotra PL, 4 yrs It's a hard situation and i suppose that each solution you choose would be difficult to deal with. Being in a poly relationship is not for everybody and if you think that it is a border that can't be crossed, don't do it. i just wonder, are there any reasons of this? Have you ever tried? i am asking because i have also been afraid of a second slave appearance in the relationship with my Master. But we talked, talked and talked a lot about this and when it finally happened i was extremely thrilled and fulfilled. However, it was only a short episode and i knew then and i know now that i am the only slave which belongs to my Master. That girl was a kind of submissive friend and now i hope that this situation would repeat. It is something special... i think that the most important thing you should do is to talk to your Daddy, what are his expectations, why is he looking for a second woman, on what conditions does he want her... honest talk has always been for me the best solution... The only place where i feel secure, happy and fulfilled is on my knees in front of my Master. i am my Master's sole property, His will is my will and i desire to be His slave, His whore and His servant as long as He decides me to. 27 Jan 09, 1:32 AM Timesamyth 3 yrs **Thank you to everyone for responding to my post I did use the advice as a sounding board** I have no fear of poly, and I haven't tried it, but there are some aspects associated with it that bother me : A.) It irks me when two people enter into a relationship, then after five months decide that another should be brought in. It seems like two people should be spending more time alone together? That's just my opinion (for my particular situation). In the future, as I understand that flexibility is a must in life, (say when I'm 30-40-50 years old) poly may be something I'd be willing to engage in, but not now. B.) Financially, from my perspective, poly looks like a difficult thing to pull off (especially at the moment). I would like to graduate and find a steady job before having any extra complications. "A woman who does not become the slave of just one man becomes the slave of all men." - Jose Bergamin