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	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "corny jokes" 1 2 3 4 5 6 corny jokes (60) This post is on the Other Topics web board. 25 Feb 09, 10:08 PM Sklavos_mou_Kyriah 3 yrs Lady Mistress gave me this one, (similar to previous post - smirk) MASOCHIST "Beat me! Please beat me!! SADIST "No!" Question: "Why do slaves in Northern England wear thick wooly socks? Answer: "To keep their feet warm." (Sklavos makes rapid exit....) To be a true slave is to be truly free Slave/Sklavos 3 Mar 09, 12:35 PM 536-122-174 US(WA), 3 yrs i'm going to have to remember that one lolol..beat me!! lolololol..thank you 8 Mar 09, 1:17 PM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs Q: Why do policemen carry firearms? A: Because the firearms are unwilling to run along beside them. (Haha, P - I remembered the answer ) Eva (The property formerly known as Camille ) 8 Mar 09, 2:51 PM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs EvaMaria wrote: (Haha, P - I remembered the answer ) Bwaa haa! Good show, EvaMaria, good show. p i breathe because He allows me, indulging Him indulges me. 14 Mar 09, 1:34 AM 373-468-022 US(WA), 3 yrs Y! More blonde jokes, being blonde i didn't understand a few so didn't post them MGs BLONDE LOGIC Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????" CAR TROUBLE A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side." AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor.. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken." KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!" IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" FINALLY A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!" "It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous "If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel." Mysterious Ways- U2 19 Mar 09, 5:25 AM HeavyD US(TN), 3 yrs Y! Sorry to put y'all through this, but...why did the slave drag her chain to her Master? It was easier than pushing it! Heavy D, Proud owner of a 1972 mint condition slavegirl. She packs a punch under the hood, goes where I steer her, and she rides like a dream. When the going gets tough, I just lock her in and let her go... 13 Apr 09, 5:05 AM 373-468-022 US(WA), 3 yrs Y! A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. He grabs some olives from the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?" The bartender screams "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!" Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, the cheeky little beggar. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his bum, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his bum, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his bum, pulled them out, and ate them!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first." "It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous "If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel." Mysterious Ways- U2 13 Apr 09, 5:29 AM Rolling_Wildheart 6 yrs OMG! That really caught my funny bone! What does that say about me? LMAO! Forsaken/I have come for you tonight/Awaken/Look in my eyes and take my hand/Give yourself up to me. - Dream Theater 13 Apr 09, 10:32 PM Sklavos_mou_Kyriah 3 yrs Oh deary, deary me! (Lol) Me too! I guess thats one intelligent monkey. (Still sniggering and spluttering) To be a true slave is to be truly free Slave/Sklavos 18 Apr 09, 8:24 PM MasterOmerta88 US(IA), 3 yrs Y! HeavyD wrote: Sorry to put y'all through this, but...why did the slave drag her chain to her Master? It was easier than pushing it! who cares why wasn't the chain attatched to something in the first palce.. lol All great things must first wear a horrible and monstrous mask to inscribe themselves on the hearts and minds of humanity