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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "." . (6) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Tue 20 Jan 09, 5:37 AM tangie 9 yrs . Edited Sat 17 Oct 09, 7:50 AM by tangie 20 Jan 09, 6:01 AM JRCs_petk HK, 4 yrs Y! tangie wrote: Keeping Balanced Sometimes we get so caught up in everyday life events that it can become easy to let a few things slip. One square of a chocolate bar becomes two, a few week goes by and the two becomes four, and on until one finds that one has put on more than a few extra pounds. Or we decide to stay up a bit later than we should to watch a late-night program, and soon we're getting hours less sleep than our bodies need, and after a bit of that we're coming down with colds or flu. Some will let themselves slip up to a certain point, then essentially "detox" their bodies, bringing themselves back into a good balance between what is wanted and what is needed. One example someone used was that he knows there were alcohol problems in his family, and though he enjoys a glass of wine with dinner, etc., he takes one month per year to completely abstain, and so keeps tabs on his ability to stop. For dominants, is there a point at which certain things that have been allowed to slip are brought up short? How do you keep yourself in tune spiritually/emotionally/intellectually? Do you take "breaks" from behaviors that might threaten to consume you, or do you keep a tight such a tight rein on your weak spots that they don't get the chance to get out of hand? Barbara PS--I'm curious about this as I've recently realized (no more denial!) I've put on 15 lbs since my trip to Egypt two years ago. It snuck up on me when I wasn't looking, and William is NOT happy as I was to be going the OTHER direction. I have to jump two dress sizes to get into an 8 now, rather than one . Hi Barbara, Have you been reading my thoughts? I'm looking forward to following this thread and the Dominant's perspectives. I had something of a cataclysmic meltdown yesterday due to a bundle of 'little things' that had been building up. After talking it all through with John, it became apparent that most issues were due to a lack of balance, the fact that we'd been letting too many factors fall by the wayside. (And yes, too much chocolate and christmas food!) We've managed to address the situation for both of us, and have a plan of action going forward, however did not discuss any 'preventative maintenance'. I know our weaknesses, I know what we need to achieve. Thankfully, John allows me a fair amount of levity when it comes to achieving those goals. I'm now the official wine and chocolate police in our household. Watching John's face last night when I refused to serve either of us second helpings was excruciating, but we both realise that it's for the good of us and our relationship. Perhaps having the sub/slave control a degree of the combined goals is not such a bad idea? A form of service in a way? For us, it works. Simply because my instinct to get back on track is generally triggered before John's is. (Also a much tougher chocolate nazi) Cheers, kim P.S If you need any recipe ideas for low fat healthy food, please let me know. John bought a few fantastic recipe books recently, all sensible and low fat. There's even dessert! Edited 20 Jan 09, 6:04 AM by JRCs_petk 20 Jan 09, 10:33 AM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 6 yrs Y! tangie wrote: For dominants, is there a point at which certain things that have been allowed to slip are brought up short? How do you keep yourself in tune spiritually/emotionally/intellectually? Do you take "breaks" from behaviors that might threaten to consume you, or do you keep a tight such a tight rein on your weak spots that they don't get the chance to get out of hand? Barbara As a Master I am required to be in complete control of myself. I am not allowed to have such slips because of my own internal strictures. I must be self-policing in all that I do because I have no higher authority to see that I do things properly. As for my slave, I moniter her 24/7 for slips in her behaviors. If she wishes to eat anything sweet or fattening, she must ask my permission. Believe me, if it seems excessive or she begins to exhibit excess weight then she will be refused such things. Her diet is controlled by me. Unless I put the food in her hand or into her mouth, it doesn't go in. That is one of our protocols. I'm sure others have their own ideas and conclusions. I look forward to headring from them. Call me LL (fixed spelling error) Edited 20 Jan 09, 10:34 AM by Lord_Laraby 20 Jan 09, 11:09 AM Domone65 UK, 3 yrs Y! In our case, I implemented a regime to cover mealtimes, bedtime etc. As we both have the ability to fall off the rails where having a healthy schedule is concerned. My /s could actually do with gaining 12-14lbs and I could do with losing the same , so at the moment I am on carrot sticks whilst she is on chocolate! Being serious for a moment, we both talked out exactly what we wanted and needed in our household in great detail, who would be responsible for what and every aspect from decor to dinner service. I did this so that we wouldn't have smaller issues getting in the way of the quality of our time. I am a great believer in the premise that if you have a home that you are comfortable in and a routine to work to, then you have a clear and relaxed mind to enjoy all the other aspects of life. 20 Jan 09, 12:43 PM Andrin DE, 3 yrs I think there are two things about it: I) physical balance II) mental balance I) Many years ago I've been drinking a gallon of tea per day: result my brain became caffeine addicted. I realized that in the 70ies when the medical fact of caffeine addiction had not been discovered yet. Has been a torture to get off and now there is only decaf in the pot and it works well. Actually I did drink that much tea to get my extremely low blood pressure up. Since I am off from stimulants, it still is low, but much better balanced than in those days (now 100 to 70). I do an alc-free month per year too as a mean for self monitoring. I love good food, I am a slow food addict. So I do have to watch my intake and a evening with finest Mont D'Or Vacherin (best cheese in the universe) has to be compensated with two evenings of salad. Also my physical fitness is something I need to monitor carefully, as I do have one of this jobs where I either sit and stare on a monitor or I sit in a meeting room. Thankfully I have my Italian playground and any extra pound on the hips I can work off pretty easily when there. Whenever somebody says “Have you lost weight?” that normally means you have changed so much that everybody notices. Normally it's not having lost weight, but having gained a couple of kilos. So time for purgatory. I think I am pretty good in maintaining my physical balance. The goodies (chocolate, Cognac and likewise) are never taken, because my body yells for them out of addiction or as a stress reliever. I savour them when the works deeds are done and I can sit down for contemplation and enjoy them. And when I realize that something got out of balance the course is changed rigorously and rapidly. II) The mental balance is much more difficult to monitor. There is the work I am paid for to think about, there are my private affairs, my friends and family. Then there are all these good and bad and ugly things that happen in the universe and that occupy my brain. And so it happens very easily that the time allocated for self monitoring is occupied with other things. But what I do every year: one week I am off to clear my mind from unwanted and unnecessary ballast. I can't meditate very well when sitting on a mattress with my legs crossed. But I can do it very well when hiking in the woods. So that is what I do, just walk all day long up to 12, 14 hours. There will be now radio, no telly, no phone, no internet. I just hike where I know I won't meet anyone and then I can contemplate about my needs, my wants, my relationships, the things that need correction and how to pursue. And once a decade I do it on a large scale, I take a sabbatical of up to half a year, go to one of remote corners of the world and try to purify my head. These trips (70ies: CAN: Northern Territories, 80ies: Alaska; 90ies: New Zealand wilderness; this decade: central Asia) probably were the most precious moments of MY life where I could dig deep inside me and find my real self. It is remarkable how your thinking, your cognition, your awareness, even your dreams change in such a period. After a month in the wilderness without contact to other human beings even my dreams changed: after a while I only dreamed about walking over blooming meadows; my brain was blank from anything that needed nightly processing). This week/sabatical for contemplation is my rite for keeping myself balanced mentally. I know that this is not a method for everybody. But what is important is that you find your own way. Maybe it is close to what Fire and Raven call their spiritual path. For my Tao it turned out to be very important and something I definitively will pursue for purification of my head. Andrin 20 Jan 09, 10:45 PM Mistress_Tiara 5 yrs Andrin's comments about keeping what I will describe as a whole 'life balance' are a good starting point for me to try to answer Tangie's question. Yes people, we're back to Tiara's Charts & List System (groan). Feel free to tune out now......... As I have always historically had an excessive amount going on in my life (especially while I'm working), I find it easy to focus on the essential stuff and let the other stuff that may not be urgent, but is very important in terms of maintaining a life balance get out of sync. So to avoid this I have a monthly chart system I put everything of importance I want to do on - steps toward long term goals and growth, health stuff, family matters, friendships, slave training, study, finance, house stuff, spiritual matterss, fun, creative projects, career, all kinds of stuff. It a) works really well to help me keep things in balance, and b) highlights it pretty bloody quickly if something even starts to slip, and aids me in correcting it. I incorporate my boy's needs, and my kids needs into this as well. I've being doing this for many years and it works really well for me. Is that the kind of thing you meant Barbara? 'If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these together ought to be able to turn it back and get it right side up again'. Sojourner Truth. 21 Jan 09, 8:39 PM Sklavos_mou_Kyriah 3 yrs tangie wrote: On the other hand, he has another phrase he uses in public, which is in Latin. I don't know the spelling, but it sounds like "taa-key-tay." When he says that, I'm to "chill." It's more a regular command; I have less of a mind/body reaction. Barbara I looked it up. I think the word is tacite which means silently or secretly. The root word is tacitus to be silent, discreet. Seems your Master is being rather subtle. To be a true slave is to be truly free Slave/Sklavos