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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "How should i handle this??" 1 2 How should i handle this?? (20) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Mon 19 Jan 09, 3:17 AM crystalredroze US(OH), 4 yrs Y! i dot know if i'm posting this in the right place so please feel free to move it if need be. Has anyone else had to deal with not having an income of their own? i'm really having a hard time with this one and it may not change for a while( meaning me having an income coming in) i know Master isnt worried about it in fact He likes me being home all the time with him and understands that i chances are i will never return to work. Working isnt an option due to physical reasons. But with His birthday coming up i just dont know what to do about that. i may make him a scrapbook, its the only thing i can think of. Edited Mon 19 Jan 09, 5:01 AM by crystalredroze 19 Jan 09, 4:55 AM 373-468-022 US(WA), 3 yrs Y! There are lots of websites with ideas for pages. Basically you can do whatever you wish. Scrapbooking is very fun, and never the same. If you like it, you got it right. i once did one for a Domme friend and her boy. i was there when he proposed, when they were married, when she collared him, and held a reception at an event my former Master and i hosted. i found lariat embellishments in a cowboy kit, tiny metal cuffs in a police officer kit. i realize money is an issue but i got most of it at dollar stores. i also have printed song verses on paper, frayed the edges and put them where they applies. Such as, if there are songs that have meaning to you, you could do that if you like. i have also done pages for my kids and framed them in cheap poster frames i get at Target. Personally i think the scrapbook idea is lovely. My friend sobbed when we presented hers. Oh, for this and my parents 50th aniversary we also asked people to submit stories of something they remembered about them. They were emailed, printed on various paper then placed on a page for the scrapbook. you can even make the font anything you wish, or put pictures on the page too. Just ideas..i really didn't mean to ramble. MGs "It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous "If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel." Mysterious Ways- U2 19 Jan 09, 6:09 PM Mistress_Tiaras_boy 5 yrs Hi jjsslave, you could give your Master some home made vouchers for special treats. Perhaps there are some things that you could do that either he does not get very often or at all and you could offer that by way of a voucher. eg This voucher is for an all over body massage. i am sure if you used your imagination you could come up with some that he would enjoy. Hope you find a solution, all the best. Tiaras_boy Mistress Tiara's beloved boy. 20 Jan 09, 1:01 PM JRCs_petk HK, 4 yrs Y! jjsslave wrote: How should i handle this?? i dot know if i'm posting this in the right place so please feel free to move it if need be. Has anyone else had to deal with not having an income of their own? i'm really having a hard time with this one and it may not change for a while( meaning me having an income coming in) i know Master isnt worried about it in fact He likes me being home all the time with him and understands that i chances are i will never return to work. Working isnt an option due to physical reasons. But with His birthday coming up i just dont know what to do about that. i may make him a scrapbook, its the only thing i can think of. Hi jjsslave, Don't worry, you're not alone. I, along with many other slaves have had to go through the transition of no longer be financially independent. Yes, it's debilitating, frustrating and gets you down, but after a while you'll learn to cope with being completely reliant on your Owner. For myself, it is an issue I still struggle with. Moreso when it comes to wanting to be able to buy a gift for my Owner. Whilst I find the situation frustrating, I do not dislike the outcome. Giving up the financial freedom allows you to delve further into your internal enslavement. John and I now have a system that works for us as far as finances are concerned. John ensures I always have sufficient cash available for groceries and emergencies, I in turn ensure I'm not frivolous with cash - something I wish that I had learned when supporting myself. John expects that money will disappear around his birthday and Christmas, and trusts that I will not go overboard. (e.g he knows I'm a tightwad!) In turn, I now tend to put a lot more thought into gifts and purchases. Not a bad thing! I'm now entering a stage where I will be helping to contribute to the household earnings as my business grows. However, we will not be changing our 'system'. I'll still be as much of a tightwad, I'll still be doled out the monthly housekeeping amount. Even if I did have the freedom to buy shoes and clothes to my hearts desire, my internal enslavement would not allow me. Edited to add: As you adjust to your new situation, you may find yourself reluctant to ask for things that you need. (e.g haircuts, waxing, shoes have worn out, winter coats etc). I still have HUGE difficulties asking for something I deem to be a luxury. This in turn, led to very low self esteem, as I felt I 'couldn't' maintain my appearance or wellbeing in the manner that I was formerly accustomed. The low self esteem then led to me feeling unattractive and insecure. What did I learn? I need to speak up. Most men have no idea when a female requires a haircut, nor will he know that my coat needs replacing unless I remind him. I now manage to ask for necessities without bottling them up. It may take a few days to work up the courage, I may still feel guilty, but I AM improving! :D Edited 20 Jan 09, 1:15 PM by JRCs_petk 20 Jan 09, 1:36 PM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs i am in the same boat as well, but for me i need to buy presents for the children as well. W/we discuss prior to birthdays and Christmas who needs what, versus who wants what and MacCain gives me a budget. This means fewer gifts but much more well thought out ones. As for gifts for MacCain, i am thrifty with day to day expenses and stretch dollars so that there will be a little left over...all those little bits left over add up over time. It is a simple matter of "i saved x and have y left over... would You like the change?" Depending on what is in His wallet, He'll either allow me to keep it, or i'll surrender the change. Speaking of change, any coins W/we get go into a special jar. In the course of just a few months it adds to a surprising amount. That is earmarked for gifts as well. It feels like free money, because you don't feel it disappearing. i have emptied loose change into a coin star machine and been very happy to see that the jar held over a hundred dollars. i don't buy myself things when i shop, unless MacCain has approved the purchase first. This includes personal hygiene items and special foods i enjoy. If i see something i'd like to try, i leave it and mention it prior to going back to the store. That way MacCain decides whether or not it is something i really should try. Because the finances are controlled by MacCain, it saves me from impulse buying, which saves gobs of money. If you do a google search for Hillbilly Housewife, there are very practical ways of stretching dollars. There is a section on gifts that you can make yourself, how to save at the grocery store, and many other helpful hints. You may want to consider a hobby that you can make gifts with as well. Maybe sew a pair of flannel jammies for Christmas, or knit a scarf... i've just begun learning to knit in preparation for next holiday season. When i go shopping i look at things and think "i could make that!" Usually if you make it yourself it is cheaper. Now if i could just learn how to make electronics... p i breathe because He allows me, indulging Him indulges me. 20 Jan 09, 5:26 PM little_linnet US, 6 yrs I also have no income of my own (even if I had a paying job, the funds would go into Mr L's bank account). Gifts are handled similarly to how p and petk describe. For gifts for others, we discuss and plan together and he sets a budget. For gifts for him, I let him know about how much I'd like to spend and he approves (or tells me to spend less) and I get him a surprise. As I see it, my real gift to him at those times is the effort to please him and to pick out something he likes but wouldn't have thought to get for himself. Krista ... the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart, not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good. 21 Jan 09, 2:53 PM crystalredroze US(OH), 4 yrs Y! I want to thank all of you for your replies and kids and helpful words. You all have made me reali8ze that its not such a unique situation after all, its just me having to get used to things changing and looking at things differently. It was odd yesterday as i needed to go grocery shopping and Master knew this. i soo hated having to ask for money for this and didnt have to. Master handed me a credit card and allowed me to use it knowing that i would be responsible enough with it not to over do it. i did stick to the list and them when he got home looked over the receipt to see what all was bought. He didnt really say anything but i'm sure he saw that as usual i stuck to the list and didnt get any "extras". The comment on getting personal items got to me. This is something i do need to work on as i have a hard time asking for things even if its things i NEED and not just want. i guess this will me my next lesson for myself to have to overcome this. i did purchase( a few months ago) a learn to knit kit and just havent opened it yet. Maybe that should be another project. i had originally bought it just to learn something new since i have the time to right now but also now see that it can be something that i can use to make gifts at a cheaper cost, not to mention that hand made gifts also mean more to the person that receives them. i do also do tarot readings and am starting work on the spare room and getting it set up so that i can do readings in there as a small business and way of earning a bit of money. Master allows me to keep the money from that, although if we need something i'm more likely to use my own funds if i happen to be out and think about something we need. So in time hopefully i will have a small income again. Dont get me wrong i love being home and taking care of things for Master but the finance thing drives me nuts. Master prefers me home and due to my physical health actually working a "normal" job would be impossible right now and ive been told my the doctors that may never change. i'm sorry to have rambled but i just wanted to let you all know how much i have appreciated your ideas and kind words, i really dont feel as alone as i did. Thank you all. 27 Jan 09, 10:49 PM crystalredroze US(OH), 4 yrs Y! i just wanted to thank you all again and tell you that i did end up making Master a scrapbook and he loved it!! i even left a couple of pages in the back blank and labeled them "for future memories" Now for valentines i plan on making hom cupons for things and i have also gotten back into candy making again so i'll more than likely make him some home made candy. 29 Jan 09, 4:25 AM 373-468-022 US(WA), 3 yrs Y! jjsslave wrote: i just wanted to thank you all again and tell you that i did end up making Master a scrapbook and he loved it!! i even left a couple of pages in the back blank and labeled them "for future memories" Now for valentines i plan on making hom cupons for things and i have also gotten back into candy making again so i'll more than likely make him some home made candy. i am glad it all worked out for you ~smile~ MGs "It's the submissives that show to others what type of Dom owns them." - Anonymous "If you want to kiss the sky, better learn how to kneel." Mysterious Ways- U2 29 Jan 09, 2:05 PM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs The financial issue was difficult for me all round. Money is power and freedom. The hardest part for me was the feeling that I somehow wasn't doing my part. When I told this to Christopher, he responded by asking me whose job it was to provide for us. That didn't solve the problem for me overnight, but it was the idea I needed to have and I eventually stopped feeling that way. But C did understand that the need to give has a material side as well. He "hired" me at his company for $8.00/day (A few months back, it was raised from $4.00 ) to take employee orders to the nearby bakery at break time. Well, it's obviously symbolic in nature but it does work for me. I augment this income by bartering quilts I've sewn an woe be it to the person who lets their change fall between the furniture cushions. Hee. So while it has required some working around, it's a happy thing for me. I have the benefit of being able to give without the complications of finance and C's benefit is that much more of my energies to be focused only on him. It makes me smile 'cause it's another of those things that at one time I was convinced of its impossibility. Camille 29 Jan 09, 8:33 PM crystalredroze US(OH), 4 yrs Y! Camille wrote: The financial issue was difficult for me all round. Money is power and freedom. The hardest part for me was the feeling that I somehow wasn't doing my part. When I told this to Christopher, he responded by asking me whose job it was to provide for us. That didn't solve the problem for me overnight, but it was the idea I needed to have and I eventually stopped feeling that way. But C did understand that the need to give has a material side as well. He "hired" me at his company for $8.00/day (A few months back, it was raised from $4.00 ) to take employee orders to the nearby bakery at break time. Well, it's obviously symbolic in nature but it does work for me. I augment this income by bartering quilts I've sewn an woe be it to the person who lets their change fall between the furniture cushions. Hee. So while it has required some working around, it's a happy thing for me. I have the benefit of being able to give without the complications of finance and C's benefit is that much more of my energies to be focused only on him. It makes me smile 'cause it's another of those things that at one time I was convinced of its impossibility. Camille Thats wonderful that it worked out for you that way. Next page