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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "unable to leave?" 1 2 unable to leave? (15) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. 5 Jan 09, 12:48 PM anjuli UK, 4 yrs 581-347-553 wrote: The best way to prevent a slave from leaving is to make the slave want to stay... the best way to get respect from a slave is make the slave want to respect you... if a master/mistress HAS to use chains to get the slave to do what they want they are probably doing something fundamentally wrong I think you might be missing something here. We're not talking about chains and we're not talking about persuasion or fulfilling the slave's dreams to keep them either. Can I refer you to this... http://www.enslavement.org.uk/iefaq The whole site will make interesting reading if it's new to you and it might help you to understand what discussions on this board, the IE theory board, are revolving around. Welcome btw. anjuli *** “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Anais Nin *** 6 Jan 09, 7:33 PM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs Maybe i'm alone here... but is not scary to me that i can't leave. It is good to know where i belong, that i belong, and whom i belong to. i know what is expected, and i know if i make a mistake, it will be corrected. What was scary to me, was the part of my life where i was unowned. i never knew which end was up... and was always afraid. i don't stay because MacCain has made me His focus, i stay because He is my focus. i can disassociate myself to get things done... it isn't my will...therefore i don't need to be in a constant state of anxiety and second guessing everything. i can relax and just *be*. i'm not suggesting that i'm normal, nor am i suggesting that it is wrong to be scared of losing your independence. i'm just saying i don't experience it the same way. i hope that made sence. p i breathe because He allows me, indulging Him indulges me. 6 Jan 09, 8:05 PM anjuli UK, 4 yrs Oh no, you're not alone p. I know what you mean. Of course, it's scary at the outset to hand over that amount of control... but the return once you have, to someone you can totally rely on is amazing. I've said before that the certainty that I will not be allowed to fail, to leave in a fit of temper or craziness. I will never get thrown out for failing, be rejected for not being good enough. All that's behind me. So, yes, I'm with you that there is safety the other side of the danger/fear if you like, but we are in secure, longterm relationships with people who we know well and know we can trust utterly. Good point tho. anjuli *** “I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” Anais Nin *** 8 Jan 09, 7:11 AM 961-082-548 US(NC), 3 yrs Not alone at all p. I knew before being collared and giving consent that once I did, that would be it. Leaving wasn't allowed and I was told what would happen if I did try to leave him. Given our relationship, which has been long and wonderful, for me it was an easy choice to make. I actually take a lot of comfort in the fact that no matter what, I am His and cannot leave nor would He ever want me to. I didn't find it scary at all when we hit that point in our relationship because I knew He was a man of honor who meant what He said and would stand behind it. I knew by that point that I could trust Him with the life He wanted to own and very happily gave myself to Him. I think the key thing everyone keeps bringing up is time. Please always take your time and learn as much as you can. It can save you much suffering and frustration if you do. The proposition of giving up complete control of your life is a very weighty one and one that shouldn't even be on the table until both parties really know the other and have spent the necessary time determining if this is indeed their correct life partner or whichever term you prefer. It is never a matter of submitting more or not submissive enough, it's only about each person and what they feel inside them and what they feel ready for. There are no real levels or rungs of a ladder you climb in this sort of thing. That is the most wonderful aspect of our world to me. You and your partner are able to create your own relationship, in the way that is the most fulfilling to you both. I know this isn't really a factor in your case and that you are just starting out, I just wanted to get it out there. –smiles- Good journeys to you both. Oh, and Tangie? AMEN BROTHER! Take care, Toni "The road I walk and she crawls will be one of pain, pleasure and emotion but it will bridge our love for all eternity". -Master Skye 9 Jan 09, 1:24 AM thekittenpup 4 yrs thanks for all of your thoughtful replies, they have given me a lot to think about NOT SEEKING MEN ONLY SEEKING WOMEN http://onmyknees.sensualwriter.com/ "When you want it, it goes away too fast, the times you hate it, it always seems to last" ~ The Speed of Pain, Marilyn Manson