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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Over reaction to something small?" Over reaction to something small? (8) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Tue 23 Dec 08, 12:28 AM 219-321-559 US, 4 yrs Y! I had a issue today, and I was hopeing I could get some opinions, and/or advice on what happened and my reaction to it. Yesterday me and my Master both recieved some money from my relatives for Christmas, I was very excited to have this money, because while the amount was rather small, I do not have a job and struggle constantly with the fact that the only money I am allowed to have and therefor to choose what to do with is the money that I personally earn. Such as if I take a small day job and earn some sum of money for my work, then that is my money, and my Master allows me to choose how to spend it. So when I got this Christmas money I naturally figured that it fell into the same catagory. Well last night my Master decided to go out and buy some things for us, and he told me he was going to use the money he had gotten as his gift for it. I told him I was nearly out of cigarettes and asked if I might send my money with him and ask him to pick some up while he was out. He said that would be fine, and so he took my money with him. My understanding was that he was going to spend his money on what he wanted to get us, and buy my cigarettes with mine and return the rest of mine to me. When he got home half of my money had been spent, which was far more than the price of the cigarettes. I asked him politly what had happened to the rest of my money, and he told me he had used it to help with what he wanted to buy. I said nothing, wishing to be respectfull and accepting of my Master's decision, but this morning when I got up and realized again how little money I had left, I was very upset. I felt that I had been slighted and lied to, and that my Master was in the wrong for spending my money when he had told me he wouldn't. I spent some time trying to come to terms with this and accept that since I am a slave and he is my Master, he has the right to take anything he wishes from me, including my personal money. However I still feel somewhat irritated that he did so after having told me he wouldn't. Am I overreacting to his actions, or am I right to be upset? And what can I do to stop feeling irritated at him. I want to be the best slave I can for him, and being irritated with him for doing something well within his rights isn't going to help me do that... Remember to always try, never dismissing things out of hand. Always do your best in life and make the most of the good times. This is living without regrets. 23 Dec 08, 1:04 AM Mistress_and_sub UK, 3 yrs I can see why you are questioning yourself but to be honest, if you discuss something which you both agree too he shouldn't go and do the opposite. Communication and trust counts for a lot and you trust your Master to do what is right for you. As your Master he did have the right to choose how to spend the money, I just think it was something he should of spoke about with you before he did it. Dawn xx Edited 23 Dec 08, 1:18 AM by Mistress_and_sub 23 Dec 08, 1:15 AM little_linnet US, 6 yrs I would be upset too, because money and scarcity are trigger issues of mine and combine the two and hoo boy. Mr L would definitely want me to tell him, if it were me. I don't think you'll be benefiting your relationship or honoring your dominant at all by stifling what you're feeling, because it's not going to go away, it's just going to swell into a big bubble and explode someday. He certainly does have a right to do anything he wants with anything of yours, but he also has responsibilities and one of those responsibilities is to respect the value of his word. With that said, I don't know if I'd say, based on what you tell us here, that he actually *did* lie. It sounds more like there was a lack of communication or a misunderstanding and he maybe wasn't aware of how important your money was to you, or didn't give it the thought he probably should have. Either way, he can only help you be OK with this if you talk to him about it. Krista The majority here come here because it is a place to exchange ideas, not to release fluids. 23 Dec 08, 1:31 AM 119-812-164 US, 3 yrs sometimes the small inconsequential things that seem to bother us, things that seem small which we can't dismiss, really bother us because they are representative of something else, something larger. the issue that underlies this 'irritation' would seem to be 'trust' and it seems that when you say you feel 'slighted' that you are saying trust has been forsaken in a way you didn't expect. i assume you have spoken to your Master about this. if not, then you should. there is no real way that we can re-instill your sense of trust in him, or, assure you that your trust was not, in fact, forsaken. if you have spoken with Him and He has not 'closed' the subject, perhaps presenting yourself to your Master again, humbly, with a request to discuss the issue from the perspective of a 'trust' matter would perhaps be a better approach than relying on our conjecture. all best to you. smiles, grl The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.-- Alfred Lord Tennyson To live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong. --Joseph Chilton Pearce Edited 23 Dec 08, 1:33 AM by 119-812-164 23 Dec 08, 8:14 AM 688-764-833 US, 5 yrs Money, especially when there is a lack of it, is a really sensitive area. If it had been me in the situation you described I would have reacted in a similar fashion and I would feel a similar frustration in the need to find a way to be okay with it. I second Krista- you need to tell him how you've reacted to this, why you feel this way and ask him for help in “getting over it”. It may simply be an instance of miscommunication (hopefully it is). Cheers, Leesie 23 Dec 08, 10:25 AM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs Is it possible that it is two days before Christmas and he may have spent it on you? It would explain why money was spent without him disclosing everything up front... unless this is a person whom hasn't won your trust. If he's normally an up front kind of guy, i'd wait until after Christmas to start getting upset. You might ruin a surprise. If he makes a habit of not being true to his word, he's not Master material. Heck if he's not honest, he's not boyfriend material. Without knowing his character, i can't say if this is an over-reaction, or your head telling you this just isn't right. p Best wishes for a celebration practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. 23 Dec 08, 1:25 PM 793-044-967 DE, 3 yrs 793-044-967 thinks you should wait til christmas, maybe your Master bought you a nice gift for christmas and needed the money (He should explain this to you at christmas). BUT if you have the rule, that your earned money (gift=earned money) is yours and the money wasn´t spent on a gift, you should talk to your Master because He has broken a basic rule of our relationships: honesty and trust. 23 Dec 08, 4:26 PM thekittenpup 4 yrs i also would have been very upset. i would talk to your M as soon as possible. It is possible he doesnt realize you are so affected by this. Often these things are simply a matter of miscommunication and can be resolved by a conversaation. NOT SEEKING MEN ONLY SEEKING WOMEN 23 Dec 08, 4:34 PM EvaMaria US(CA), 3 yrs property_of_MacCain wrote: Is it possible that it is two days before Christmas and he may have spent it on you? It would explain why money was spent without him disclosing everything up front... unless this is a person whom hasn't won your trust. She makes two good points here, I think. I don't think you're "obligated" to wait for the further information, but if you can put it aside for now, that would be good. Doing the bit of extra helps, no matter the nature of the relationship. But I would certainly initiate conversation on the matter after Christmas. His actions effectively contradicted his word and therefore your ability to believe in it - I don't see how that could work. Camille Edited 23 Dec 08, 4:35 PM by EvaMaria