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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "The process of normalization" 1 2 3 The process of normalization (26) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. 9 Dec 08, 6:01 PM ravenkaldera US(MA), 6 yrs You're welcome! (grin) Actually, I do that to Joshua - what people have been mentioning. I periodically poke him, tickle him, grab bits of his anatomy while he's grilling bacon for breakfast. His clothing hangs to the far side of the computer, so he has to reach over me typing to get things, and he knows that's got a good chance of me doing something with teeth to tender bits of the cute expanse of boy-flesh stretched out right by my face in a difficult position. And, of course, his job is to patiently hold still until I'm done messing with him. Part of it's entertainment on my part, of course; I enjoy it, and he knows that and wants to please me. Part of it is patience training, part of it is a reminder that his body is mine. He is allowed to surprise me with certain kinds of physical affection as well, but only those kinds that I've delineated, that don't annoy me or set me off, and only if he gauges my mood first. Our power dynamic is also very implicit instead of being explicit, and he continually forgets that it exists even while doing exactly what I want. For example, we just had a two-day open house at the wellness center where we are both working together now (hurrah for working in the same office!) which was two straight days of free demos, people every 15-30 minutes or so. The first day, he was in a bad way from overstimulation, and I helped him to cope. The second day, I was in bad pain and he helped me to cope. Later, he mentioned that we help each other out, and was that an egalitarian thing? I pointed out that my way of helping him was to shut the door between clients, sit down, and have him kneel and put his head in my lap while I made him count breaths. His way of helping me was to run over between clients and massage and liniment me, and bring me a continual stream of hot tea, while I did an intake on a new client and paid him no obvious attention. I dunno ... I don't think that an egalitarian couple would put up with that. Yes, we take care of each other, but it's the style we do it in that sets the tone. And yes, I did jump up a couple of times when he was working and I wasn't, to fetch something for him, but when he's got a client on the table and is holding a glass thing in one hand and a flaming torch in the other, the job comes first. That's a matter of priorities. (BTW, after joking about the sticking-finger-in-ear thing and doing it as a teasing thing, he promptly eroticized it. Not so much ears, as knowing that I could casually invade any orifice I wanted with no notice.) -Raven Kaldera -If you're in charge, it's all on your head. If it's not all on your head, then you're not really in charge. 9 Dec 08, 6:27 PM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs Anjuli, HA! See, it is not that wierd...Heck, if Raven does it, it must be normal. Right? i guess that's the point. In a "normal" relationship the fingered *giggle* person would have probably at least tried to get the finger out of her/his ear. Yes? But i just sat there. It didn't even dawn on me i should knock His hand away, or wriggle myself away. It wasn't until He got bored of having His finger in my ear that He mentioned why He had done it. Apparently, He read a thread in which the honorable Raven had described violating Josh in the same manor, and MacCain wanted to see my reaction. Have i mentioned lately MacCain is sadistic? p Please Do Not Feed The Trolls. It's the best way to get our board back on track. 9 Dec 08, 11:19 PM 775-532-284 UK, 3 yrs anjuli wrote: Yep, I'm with you too. At the outset I was spending an inordinate amount of time worrying about what we 'should' be doing to enforce our dynamic... wanting to display it... wanting overt demonstrations of his control. Now I won't say that the 'freak outs' don't still occur from time to time. I had one recently and funnily enough we talk in the bathroom often too! J's always complaining I make him wet when I cry on him in the bath! <grins> It's just a place we talk things thro, relaxing and touching, and I cannot begin to tell you how much I love it. So I freak - it's all gone, we're not doing ANYTHING M/s, I don't feel like a slave, I don't submit... blah blah blubber, blah... and later in the bath he spells out everything I do, everything he does, how weird that would be to others... all that stuff. And he's right. My family know he's the boss. My sister thinks I'm 'tolerant' <laughs> because of an incident when I bought something he hated (okay it was a china chicken which was very cute <giggles> shut up already) and it went back, immediately and with nothing more than a little play-whining and joshing from me and the family who were all present. (And yes, he let me choose something else from the shop to replace it.) But sis saw it as something that would have caused a row in most relationships. She mentioned it recently (or perhaps it was me ('Oh no not another chicken!' is a regular joke now. He's often threatened with gift chickens in friendly fun) and she said how 'tolerant' I am. I said not really. He didn't like it so that's the end of it. She eyed me and said that it wasn't like that in most relationships and I laughed and reminded her what would have happened had it been my ex... and then added that it was nice to have someone I couldn't push around. I hadn't realised how that sounded to her but clearly it was a touch weird altho she accepted it okay. Nothing feels freaky that's for sure in J's household. A bit of kinky stuff, sure. Lots of unnoticed, by me, M/s stuff, but it's largely low key and certainly inoffensive. It's all a bit twisted really isn't it? We're the extreme end, the oh-so-close to dangerous, non-consensual fringe and all we're doing is building lives where each of us is happy in our roles, fulfilled, safe and cared for... so very close and intimate with our life partners, with trust, peace and harmony reigning (freak outs excepted). It's so normal to live together and retain separate lives, secrets, areas of lack of trust, rows and resentments, and lack of respect. Krista is right. Just who is weird here? anjuli ps. The first one to mention the chicken gets it! You hear? <looks fierce and probably slightly silly> This is it. this is not knowing you do something until it is brought to you attention. this is the 'fringe, the non consensual" but it seems so much more logical than fights and rows that the 'normal relationship brings. since my submission i am happy and we dont fight anymore. no more vanilla for me! 10 Dec 08, 2:10 PM SixThreeFive SE, 5 yrs Tehe, see what happens when I stick my head into a bucket a gag for a few days? Y'all get down and dirty! And heck no, I can't do the accent - I speak with a British accent thankyouverymuch. *cough* Anyway. I don't know if my Owner read this thread, because since writing it, there's just been thing after thing after thing, of that M/s-y stuff. Like notes saying "Clean the kitchen, bitch", and the waking the slave up after five hours of sleep to fix him a hamburger... have I mentioned I sleep hard? Apparently he stood next to me for ten minutes, upping the sound on the radio-clock-alarm that had gone off and calling my name. The carpenters in the bathroom were whistling the Christmas tune from the radio, but me sleeping less than a foot away from it? I didn't wake up until he touched me. Not to mention that he spent the entire night fixing my - err, his - laptop, pointing out to me that it's his and he likes his things to work. Oh, and doing things like biting my ankle, which is an exercise in trust, I tell you; and touching my sides lightly, which makes my brain sort of short out from the stimulation... So. Yeah. Not eglitarian. I wonder if I'm just noticing or if he started it all up now? 10 Dec 08, 2:18 PM property_of_MacCain 4 yrs Awww. i never got a "clean the kitchen, bitch" note. i'm jealous. i'll trade you a finger in the ear for a nasty-o-gram. p Please Do Not Feed The Trolls. It's the best way to get our board back on track. 10 Dec 08, 3:09 PM SixThreeFive SE, 5 yrs I love those small post-it notes. We stick small messages to each other on the bathroom door, and that's where I got that little gem. The note on the light switch says "Just WHAT do you think you're doing?!" It's never supposed to be turned off, but I tend to hit it by habit, or I did until that note appeared. I think I'll keep my naughty messages, I have no wish for wet fingers in my ear.