Open Air Bondage - the best outdoor BDSM shoots    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "how 'out' are you and how 'out' do you want to be?" 1 2 3 how 'out' are you and how 'out' do you want to be? (28) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 5 Dec 08, 12:02 PM LillyMoon UK, 6 yrs Well we are not "out" so much as just not "in". There are people who know exactly what we are, there are those who might suspect, and there are those who just think I am bossy and he is a little hen pecked. We don't hide things, but we do tone them down in front of some people (children, parents etc). I see it as being no ones business but our own...vanilla couples don't discuss there intimate home or sex lives with everyone after all. We are also pagan and take the same attitude with being out in that area, do they actually need to be told? It isn't hidden and anyone who wants to ask is told the truth. The people who know us well know for sure...most of the others have probably guessed 5 Dec 08, 3:36 PM S_Kitten UK, 4 yrs Im mostly out, but i dont go parading it. Most of my immediate friends know, my parents have an inclin that something is going on but dont know what (and i dont have any intention in telling them) Personaly i think that there is some times/situation where it shouldnt be paraded because some people just dont want to know and it isnt fair to push it in their face when it can make them uncomfortable. i also think there is a certain limit to talking about it too, when it makes up every conversation it can get really annoying. thats my point of view, Master is more open than me, but again his parents now somethings going on but havnt said anything kitten Masters little Kitten. I serve to please 5 Dec 08, 4:01 PM MJs_HeadBitch UK, 3 yrs Lily Moon. My greatest respect to you my queen. Wishing you and your boy great happiness. xx Edited 12 Jan 09, 1:02 PM by MJs_HeadBitch 5 Dec 08, 8:34 PM 662-935-655 5 yrs my late Master - a Mormon Priest for the record - and i, who included that in my very ecclectic Paganism as we were Hetero-monogamous with Him as Owner/Dom which fit right into their world view and their having a Heavenly MOM as well as Pop fit into mine - were rather out. i wore a non-obvious collar all the time, Master flaunted a large triskeleon pendant and another on a ring, having given me one on a ring as well and having stickers with the same significance on the car windows. At one point i also wore an anklet until swelling of the legs made it impossible. We didn't say anything, but it was there - fortunately my Dad didn't care, my mom is such a prude one doesn't dare even mention that vanilla sex is behind someone's childbirth and wouldn't notice or understand, just was glad tht my 4th marriage was working out, finally - as she put it. In His family His mom and fave sis were in another faith that also teaches wives submit to your husband, so when His mom asked about the collar i just reminded her of the book she gave us telling me that and told her that L wanted me to wear it and if she had any questions to ask Him - she never did. this always worked - in church i wore a pentacle He gave me openly. if some folks asked i said it was a souvenir He gave me from Salem MA - known as Witch-city USA locally - and if some others asked i might say it was a very old symbol for Heavenly Mom and if anyone got too pushy i just suggested they ask Him as He gave it to me, what it meant to Him - nobody did. Y/you see Master was a rather strong Alpha male type although the Gentlest Owner/Dom i've ever heard of - yet it was His way or the Highway! But He had something i can best describe as a "presence" that put people off pushing Him any - although He had many friends, nobody seemed to want to question Him. i've met Alphas - both Male and Female and everything In-Between etc. - who were like that both in AA, which i've been sober in some time now as was He, and in Veterans groups, law enforcement and the military. Some were life-style i know but quite a few i don't and some i doubt it -- one, my Dad, i know didn't know it. Yet folks knew these FOLK had limits you did not push, just intuitively. So i do miss being able to refer people back to Him if they want to know more. Some folks i just point out that Janet Jackson, Britney Spears and the "Abby" character on NCIS - CBS T V U S A television - have worn them as have the "Goth Girls" and other Goth types and i say in some circles it's quite in fashion. But A/anyone who KNOWS, would pick up on it with U/us at least when He was alive. Very recentally i made a mistake with my online AA group - instead of signing off - j/L-Matrika - i signed off with the com-sig below. Got a lot of questions about how i owned Papa L - which made me laugh for a good 5 minutes before i tentatively came out of the "whips and chains closet" to explain it was the other way around, it was an accident i had used that com-sig, and it was a part of our personal and intimate life related to what most folks accept as "Bondage". i didn't know how it would be taken as this is an AA group for people with other issues - most of the ladies in it have also been abuse victimes. So i was a bit worried. it was taken pretty much as we don't get it, but that's okay because it's none of our business and we love you anyways. My AA sponsor who is french-vanilla - as in a swinger, goes with guys in real open marriages, she checks it out, etc. but has tried BDSM play and is not into it - took it with a smile and said, not my thing, but cool, basically. i'll tell you 2 things, when a sub/slave comes out of the whips and chains closet one finds out who is her or his real friends on the one hand - and on the other may find some "friends" suddenly chasing their Owner/Dom or doing heavy flirting. This latter i did not expect. the one AA very vanilla and very churchy - in another church - friend i was very hesitant about as her abuse had been so brutal, i didn't tell when He was alive, but it came out on thanksgiving. i told her i had strongly suggested He not come out with it to her as i thought it would scare her. She confirmed that it would have and was glad He didn't, but was otherwise so accepting that she talked with me about aspects of her marriage (2 decades plus) that she'd been concerned about but never told anyone. i explained to her that i thought she was very vanilla and her husband may have some slightly effeminate characteristics, was almost certainly someone who could have made a fine m-sub, could have experimented with trans-vestite to a bit, but was most definitely "straight" and in love with her. Move over Dr. Ruth and Dear Abby - i could make a living at this!!!! (ROFLMAO - Rolling on floor laughing my ANATOMY, or whatever, Off) j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! alias "granny" matrika ye olde crone, blessed be! 23 Dec 08, 2:57 PM 000-923-658 US(CT), 8 yrs Years ago, i made the decision to 'out' myself to my family, specifically to my parents. The reason was due to them making false assumptions about my activities, behavior, demeanor, etc. (They thought i was into drugs..lol). Anywho, i found the most wonderful book by Dossie and Easton 'When Someone You Love is Kinky'. The experience was a relief on both parts, as i didn't have to hide who and what i was any longer, and they were glad i wasn't a druggie. i sat down with my parents and read through the entire book, answering questions, and waiting for their condemnation the entire time. It didn't come..which surprised me. my father understood more than i expected, my mother however was a different matter. Although she said 'I understand', she truly didn't as she was a survivor of childhood and marital abuse (former marriage) and cannot understand how anyone would want to subject themselves to this type of lifestyle..but she is making progress as she has seen the major changes in me (i am no longer anorexic, bulimic, haven't cut in over 5 years, and have high sense of self-esteem and self-worth). i am 'out' to the general public but not blatantly 'out'. i wear my collar 24/7, even during bathing as its screwed on and made of silver, and only comes off once a week for polishing. Although i have several tattoos indicating both lifestyle preference and Ownership, and the crowning glory i wear proudly upon my thigh being the branding Master gifted me with upon Our 3rd anniversary, none are visible unless wearing something revealing like a bathing suit to the beach. my kids have known for years and often refer to me as 'the coolest mom on the block..that includes your block'. They don't judge me, but accept me for who i am, and are very supportive of my choices. Happy safe holidays to A/all ~pleasure{MD}~ Loved, Cherished, Owned...Completely HIS 24 Dec 08, 10:16 AM LadyCarmen US(KS), 3 yrs Y! Well, since I have no real life experience, yet, I'm not all that out. The few friends I have told knew without Me saying that I was/am Domme. There is no way I could ever tell My mother as she isn't accepting of Me normally, and I would NEVER do anything that might jeopordize her relationship with My son. If My father were still alive, I would tell him, because he would accept Me no matter what. So, I'm out online, and to a few select friends, and I'm happy with that for now. Carmen "Bow down, surrender unto Me, submit infectiously, sanctify your demons into abyss, you don't exist, cannot resist"-Metallica 1 Jan 09, 4:23 PM Ghostbear US(TX), 3 yrs 119-812-164 wrote: how 'out' are you and how 'out' do you want to be? Most of our friends are aware and we explained, to some degree, to our parents. We have ex'es on both sides and children of both of those relationships. Interestingly, neither side has caused trouble, on the lifestyle issue. A bit surprisingly, no one in my family has attempted to ride to a perceived rescue. sO has handled explanations to brothers, sisters and kin when questions have arisen, simply because such questions don't seem to be put to me, and she's done an excellent job. Our attitude is that it is akin to others' marital and sexual practices, which we frankly don't have much interest in. But, if questions do arise they are handled frankly. I think there is a minor element of rumor and "do you really want to know?" Not surprisingly, the biggest concern was that our children might be exposed to age inappropriate behavior. However, even with ex-es on both sides, they have been assured and seen over time that our responsibility is for the children's whole well being which includes privacy of parental sexuality of any sort. With three teens and two pre-teens at the moment (three of the crew living with us full time), the matter has shifted toward us playfully teasing and the children playfully pretending to be distraught by any possibility of parental sexuality. "Ewwww, parent love!" I suppose that it also helps that we live in the southern US, where a submissive wife is an honored tradition. . .which I will occasionally archly mention when the brat comes out to play. ~GB 1 Jan 09, 6:33 PM thekittenpup 4 yrs Well, i'd like to be totally out without shouting from the mountaintops, ya know? Although, the same with my religion, i am pagan, i am out to only those who can accept it and not shout it from the mountaintops. Otherwise i am totally in the closet. NOT SEEKING MEN ONLY SEEKING WOMEN http://onmyknees.sensualwriter.com/ "When you want it, it always goes away. When you need it it never seems to stay" ~ The Speed of Pain, Marilyn Manson