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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "what is the meaning behind the collar...?" 1 2 what is the meaning behind the collar...? (16) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Sun 16 Nov 08, 8:27 AM Bella_Ragazza US(RI), 6 yrs I was speaking with Master about collars and what they mean. I know they are a representation of ownership and belonging, but what else? I would like to know does a collar mean something different to a slave then it does to a submissive? a Master to a Dom? I know how some say it is like an engagement ring or a wedding band ...but I wouldn't think that it could mean that to everyone. Also if that Is the case why do people collar right away? thanks so much Bella 16 Nov 08, 9:26 AM 119-812-164 US, 3 yrs hi bella ... i have no definitive answer but i have some opinions based on my own research and discussions with mentors, Doms, and my Master ... if you don't mind me sharing a bit .. the old guard community saw the collar as something much more formal than i think many who 'dabble' in bdsm see it now. i knew a young bosnian Dom who scoffed at the way the 'collar' is being degraded and felt that virtually 'no' new world practicioners used it correctly.... he said in the old european communities, it meant even more than a bond between individuals; it was a sign of the Doms 'legacy' the collar has been used as a fashion accessory in pop culture movements and as a sign of 'playful' degradation in everything from swinger's play to porn videos. in the lifestyle community the traditional progressive 3 collars (consideration, training, slave/owned) represent a progression of a serious pairing ... and of course, there is simply the utilitarian use of the collar in acts of bondage and control ... from my perspective, it seems as though the many uses of the collar are sometimes conflated into fewer, maybe streamlined, or 'simplified' when a D/s couple comes together at times. i think the ownership community in some ways is most represented in the notion of 'quick' collaring as Dominants and submissives feel a need to 'attach' themselves to one another and have some outward physical manifestation of that connection, that 'ownership' ... both as a re-affirmation to the S/self and as a sign to others to signify one's 'place' in the lifestyle ... we have become a society of 5 minute dinners and add-water beverages ... everyone wants everything faster ... people have sex faster, marry faster, divorce faster ... i don't mean to comment on whether any of this is either 'good' or 'bad' but simply that it 'is' .. i love ritual and process ... and i know many people like me are troubled by 'quick' collaring ... i don't personally have issues with it but i can certainly see how some believe a disregard for the traditions and stages of collaring lessens the perceived significance of a collar overall ... for me, it is significant to the individuals who utilize it in the specific ways they deem it significant. that's a sort of anarchist's perspective, i suppose ... why a collar at all? i don't know this except to say that it resembles the neck shackles used on slaves at different times from antiquity to our most recent 19th century past ... and, of course, the leather 'dog' style collar is representative of the way a Master controls an animal, and also how a Master identifies an animal as His/Hers ... well, i could go on but it's mostly because i can't sleep and i'm alone and missing Master so i'll stop ... big smiles, girl The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.-- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892) 16 Nov 08, 10:05 AM Mistress_Tiara 5 yrs 119-812-164 wrote: in the lifestyle community the traditional progressive 3 collars (consideration, training, slave/owned) represent a progression of a serious pairing ... If anyone could tell me how long this 'traditional' system has been around I'd be interested. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* 16 Nov 08, 11:32 AM Wilhemina 3 yrs From Sir's interpretation, it wasn't so much a case of his need to collar me: He waited very patiently until I asked to be collared. There was indeed method behind his madness. He knew that if I made up my mind, my loyalty would not waver. So far, it hasn't. At the moment, my collar is a worksafe one (finances don't extend as far as a Turian-style, as yet) but the collar that I most crave will be the one that Master is making for me himself. For him, it is most important that I can show my collar when out and about. It reminds me of him every day ( as if I needed a reminder) but it's also peace of mind for him, showing folk in the know that I'm happily owned. However, I've always thought that popping a collar onto a sub immediately was a poor consideration of the whole concept of D/s and M/s as a relationship. It's -to my mind- like buying a house because you like the colour of the front door. 'Mina 'The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea' - Rick Cook 16 Nov 08, 11:52 AM Ms_Valentine UK, 4 yrs Bella_Ragazza wrote: what is the meaning behind the collar...? I was speaking with Master about collars and what they mean. I know they are a representation of ownership and belonging, but what else? I would like to know does a collar mean something different to a slave then it does to a submissive? a Master to a Dom? I know how some say it is like an engagement ring or a wedding band ...but I wouldn't think that it could mean that to everyone. Also if that Is the case why do people collar right away? thanks so much Bella To me in my relationship with my sub, which is a 24/7 lifestyle romantic and D/s pairing meant for life, the 'collar' which in our case is actually a thick silver rope chain, is immensely important. It stays on, locked permanently at all times. It is a symbol of our relationship, in that aspect, much like many other kinds of jewellery. As my relationship to p is based on a core dynamic of D/s it is a symbol of his submission to me. It represents the way in which I have complete control and authority over him. I know it is of the utmost importance to my sub. The thought of it coming of fills him with great unease. he says he would absolutely hate it should it need to be removed even temporarily. It represents for him pride in submitting to me and being bound to me in a unique way. It stands for his obedience, love, loyalty to me. As his Mistress and Dominant, it shows me that every day he commits to being mine and to serving me proudly and without reservation. I could not bear to see him without it either. It would just feel wrong, as though an integral part of him had gone. It has become a part of paul. I did not place my chain permanently around his neck until we lived together. For me, it was at that point that we both had made our decisions to be with each other, to give our time and energy to each other above any other, that a permanent chain seemed right. So, to us, it has significance which is just as much as a wedding band might be to a vanilla couple but it means more than a wedding ring. Controversial views of Ms_Valentine. No 1. Slaves submit no more deeply than subs can do. No 2. Terms such as a 'sub' or a 'slave' describe a state of being, not a level of submission, importance or place in a hierarchy. 3. Submission?.. no limits necessary. 16 Nov 08, 12:24 PM 119-812-164 US, 3 yrs Mistress_Tiara wrote: 119-812-164 wrote: in the lifestyle community the traditional progressive 3 collars (consideration, training, slave/owned) represent a progression of a serious pairing ... If anyone could tell me how long this 'traditional' system has been around I'd be interested. Mistress ... i would have to say that the term 'traditional' is my own and by no means categorizes all or most in the lifestyle as, i am sure You know, we are a collection of many different social groups ... but i have been taught about different types of collars from my time of studying with my first Dominant mentor and with each successive Dominant. BDSM itself has very obscure origins ... and i can't say where or when the consideration collar, the training collar, and the slave's collar emerged ... but each Dominant i have served, studied with, or apprenticed to here (i apprenticed as a Domina for a little less than a year) were aware of these 'types' or stages of collaring ... i found a web site last year sometime that also talked about a 'collar of protection' ... i can't remember where, but it was very interesting. apparently it is to protect a sub/slave who has been abused and who is not in the service of a particular Dom/Master but who needs His/Her protection for whatever reason... i had never heard of that usage but it makes a lot of sense ... thank you for the question... smiles, girl The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.-- Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892) 16 Nov 08, 5:19 PM Damsel US, 3 yrs My master actually took my collar away once to show me how important it was. I think it is very much like a engagement band or wedding ring it means you are owned and that you belong to someone. It means you are cherished its a good feeling to wear one. 16 Nov 08, 8:05 PM Dreamshaper US(FL), 3 yrs the old guard community saw the collar as something much more formal than i think many who 'dabble' in bdsm see it now. i knew a young bosnian Dom who scoffed at the way the 'collar' is being degraded and felt that virtually 'no' new world practicioners used it correctly.... he said in the old european communities, it meant even more than a bond between individuals; it was a sign of the Doms 'legacy' I clipped this part because that is exactly how I feel about collaring a slave. I guess it's sort of like having the best trained dog in a pet show, something to be prized and adored..............more than just a wedding band, kind of hard to explain. Master Fred Wandering around in Wonderland, wondering where I am wandering. 16 Nov 08, 10:43 PM 662-935-655 5 yrs the best One to tell you what a collar means in your case is your own Owner/Dom. But to me it was deeper than an engagement or wedding ring - having already had those from my Late Msster at the time of my collaring. i don't know how to put it into words, as it was a feeling - for me it didn't just make me feel more secure and O/our relationship even more stable, for some reason i felt incredibally safe. And i enjoyed the knowing looks i got from O/others, as at that time i was still healthy enough to be out and about - not just at munches, etc. either. i was amazed at how some Guys just treated me with more respect once i was wearing - at that point - a very visible collar, until Master settled on more permanent ones, one for everyday mostly and one for events He made me as well as some others for special reasons. try putting Collars, slave into a search engine - you'll be amazed probably. i was! j/L Papa's owned always: still proudly wearing His Collar and Ring, rest in peace Beloved Master/Husband! "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose" Janis Joplin 17 Nov 08, 12:27 AM little_linnet US, 6 yrs Mistress_Tiara wrote: 119-812-164 wrote: in the lifestyle community the traditional progressive 3 collars (consideration, training, slave/owned) represent a progression of a serious pairing ... If anyone could tell me how long this 'traditional' system has been around I'd be interested. Since the Internet, I think. Bella, I think you'll find that a collar means something slightly different to every person whether they identify as dominant or submissive. I seem to remember Steve or Carolyn going into detail on the history of "collaring" as a relationship marker and I know it was fascinating but I can't remember a damn thing else about it Krista It's like trying to correct the math of somebody adding two and three when they're working under the notion that two means six and three means paprika. 17 Nov 08, 6:04 PM Mistress_Tiara 5 yrs little_linnet wrote: Mistress_Tiara wrote: 119-812-164 wrote: in the lifestyle community the traditional progressive 3 collars (consideration, training, slave/owned) represent a progression of a serious pairing ... If anyone could tell me how long this 'traditional' system has been around I'd be interested. Since the Internet, I think. Yep, thats what I thought. *~*Mistress Tiara*~* Next page