KinkPodcasts.com - podcasts about BDSM, Fetish and Kink    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Master/slave relationships harder than vanilla?" 1 2 3 4 Master/slave relationships harder than vanilla? (34) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 19 Feb 09, 12:09 AM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 6 yrs Y! Well for me and my angel, M/s is harder but more rewarding. Vanilla is easy, unfulfilling, dull, and lackluster. Call me LL 21 Feb 09, 8:16 PM SnowdropExplodes UK, 7 yrs Y! I haven't read the comments, so this may have been said already: I think we have it easier, because power dynamics exist in every relationship. What D/s and M/s do is to lay those power relationships open and explicit, whereas in a vanilla relationship very often they are unrecognised and implicit. That means we are much better able to seal with any knotty problems that arise. Relationship counsellor Al Turtle, when I challenged him on his negative use of the term "Master/Slave relationship", said the following: Al Turtle wrote: If you put the terms Master or Slave or Master/Slave into Internet search engines, you will turn up several whole communities of people that use these terms in a very positive sense. These relatively small, but widespread, communities participate in Dominant/Submissive relationships. They are sometimes called D/s, or M/s communities. As a counsellor several times I have run into members of this community, and found them to be usually more informed about healthy relationship skills than the general public. I think that understanding D/s or M/s dynamics gives us a better set of tools for dealing with (some types of) relationship conflicts. 3 Mar 09, 12:43 PM submissivesmartass US, 5 yrs Harder..easier...just depends on the day, like any other relationship. But imho, what sets this relationship apart besides the power exchange, is the level of honesty and communication that is needed in order for M/s to work well. Either of us have an issue, we talk about it, deal with it, move on. As others have said, petty squabbles (usually started by me), don't get the chance to move beyond that stage into a full blown argument. When i start my bitching, all my Owner has to do is give me on of "those looks" and it stops there. If there is a decision to be made that we don't agree on after listening to my side, we do it His way. It eliminates alot of potential arguments. And i generally have no problem with doing it His way, because i trust that He making the best decision. Also, He is the Dom and that's just the way it is. my Owner and i have agreed that most vanilla couples could only wish for the level of communication, trust and honesty that we share. imho, that is what makes it special. And i forgot to mention the beauty of the clear definition of roles. He is the Dom and i am His sub. period. end of story Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment - Ghandi 4 Mar 09, 10:32 AM tails_SB UK, 6 yrs I agree that vanilla will be easier for vanilla people, D/s or M/s easier for D and s types, as has also been said a fulfilling relationship is always easier on those involved. But I suppose what this really means is that they are just different. Whereas a 'nilla guy may have to deal with being nagged at, a dominant guy may have to deal with a wayward sub. It sure is easiest to be single Mind you, that only works if you don't get lonely too quickly. I was telling someone the other day how there's never any arguments and he couldn't get his head around it dmtp.