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	TSR : Web boards : Other Topics : "please offer your 2 cents" 1 2 please offer your 2 cents (12) This post is on the Other Topics web board. 5 Sep 08, 2:00 AM slave_alyra CA, 3 yrs thank you A/all so very very much for Y/your kind and honest opinions...it is moving to see O/others focused on helping someone and offer advice....so i thank each and every O/on of Y/you from the bottom for my heart.... Y/you all have really touched on all the angles and possible outcomes etc....and that was my sole purpose in posting the question. to gather insight from O/others. to gleam from the D/s world a new perspective. i want to reiterate that i am not a flighty person. and i do take time to make decisions and ponder all aspects. i am a very intelligent 36 year old woman. i have had some major health issues in the past 4 years and have been on disability and not working for that time. this is my second marriage...and to respond to a earlier comment... yes i did realize that my husband was not "perfect" for me. and keep in mind the past 4 years has changed me entirely. i am a different person. and i am looking at life in a whole new way. when you are given an ultimatum you end up not taking things for granted anymore. and i realized at that time that my life had to change. and change to suit the me i have become. i am more artistic. i am embracing my creativity. i am a songwriter now...i have worked with some cool people. and a musician.... all of these things that i did before but lost due to life. but i am going to live for me now. because i do not want to look back and think that i missed something. some vital part of who i was supposed to be. and in this new growth time, i have realized that my marriage isn't so great. i feel very stifled. and when i reached out and found my Master...it was like a switch went off. and i knew that i had found something that needs to be a part of me and my life. and yes i am looking at things in my life differently, but i think maybe it was time to do that anyway. and i know that in my current relationship that there is no room for the growth spurt i feel coming on. he is just not that type of person. he doesn't understand my need to live. to really live. not sit on a couch ruled by the remote. that is not living. getting out meeting all different types of people. learning form O/others. hearing about other peoples life stories and how even a scrap of something they did or didn't do can rub off on me. that is living. and i guess in the back of mind i have already made my decision. but it is the letting go i am having trouble with. and maybe that is selfish. but it is what it is. and i really just need to be able to think clearly. and all of Y/your post help so thank Y/you all again... take care E/everyone slave alyra slave alyra 5 Sep 08, 2:57 AM slaveo US(TX), 4 yrs 173-682-895 wrote: MasterS70 wrote: <snip> have you ever considered that seperating is perhaps healthier for them in the long run if they feel no love between you guys as their parents ? </snip> exactly. my parents stayed married to each other a good 5 years too long. they divorced when i was 13. my mother remarried, and while *i* thought (and still do think) my stepfather is an asshole, if he makes my mother happy, who am i to naysay? mind Y/you, my father was an asshole, too, but he and my mother weren't happy, and i knew it by the time i was 5. divorce was a good thing for both of them, and they led happier lives afterward. imho, "staying together for the sake of the kids" is just an excuse. the kids always know. YMMV. I agree 100% with this post, having been there myself as well. I eventually actually suggested to my parents that they divorce. I was sick of all the tension and fighting and sadness and uncertainty in my life because of them. Like most parents they did everything they could to protect me from this, but still kids just know.