This page sponsored by Extreme Restraints    [other banners]

	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Submissives in Positions of Power" 1 2 Submissives in Positions of Power (14) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Thu 31 Jul 08, 12:53 AM Melens_rayne US, 5 yrs Cross posted on two other sites for more input So... I just sort of jumped in with both feet. That's how I roll. *snicker* But I am new here and hello and how are ya to all of you. I'm not much for introductions. "Hi! I'm rayne." suits me just fine *grin* In all seriousness, I do have a question. I've heard tell of submissives being placed in positions of power at work and finding themselves in a whole buttload of trouble because they brought that "manager" attitude home. Bossing the masterly man around and stuff. I just got a promotion. I don't foresee myself going on some sort of power trip and trying to get Him to submit to me (out right or by way of manipulation) or something. It's really not in my nature. I'm going to have a hard enough time bossing the people that work for me around. However! I figured I'd start this adventure off right and see if anyone had any suggestions for avoiding this. I don't want to be told to quit before I even get started, you know? Any help is much appreciated! Edited Thu 31 Jul 08, 12:56 AM by Melens_rayne 31 Jul 08, 2:34 AM Blush4Him US, 4 yrs Melens_rayne wrote: Submissives in Positions of Power Cross posted on two other sites for more input So... I just sort of jumped in with both feet. That's how I roll. *snicker* But I am new here and hello and how are ya to all of you. I'm not much for introductions. "Hi! I'm rayne." suits me just fine *grin* In all seriousness, I do have a question. I've heard tell of submissives being placed in positions of power at work and finding themselves in a whole buttload of trouble because they brought that "manager" attitude home. Bossing the masterly man around and stuff. I just got a promotion. I don't foresee myself going on some sort of power trip and trying to get Him to submit to me (out right or by way of manipulation) or something. It's really not in my nature. I'm going to have a hard enough time bossing the people that work for me around. However! I figured I'd start this adventure off right and see if anyone had any suggestions for avoiding this. I don't want to be told to quit before I even get started, you know? Any help is much appreciated! ::waving:: Hi Rayne! I answered on one of the other sites (and was just about to leave a comment on your blog too LOL!). I do want to add one thing to my earlier comment - I have had difficulty at times supervising very dominant personalities. What I have found that works for me (and may or may not work for you) is to keep in mind that my goal is to be the best I can be no matter the task. My Sir expects my best and encourages my successes. Focusing on providing the best of services for the corporation and our clients enables me to do a better job of supervising. I tend to motivate rather than order anyway - and that helps too. Hope this makes sense! Blush 31 Jul 08, 4:07 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs I know many who have a routine when they get home...something that helps them shed the day and be mindful for service, both receiving and giving. It differs from person to person, but some examples are a formal present, a shower, cooking and the like. Master Fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Hai! Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 31 Jul 08, 4:55 AM 000-281-413 US(AR), 8 yrs Y! if you drive to work, the ride home provides a wonderful opportunity to set your mindset back in the proper place. i would suggest some music or a radio station that lets you get rid of your "work" vibe, and maybe a driving-home ritual that allows you to remind yourself of what awaits you when you walk in the door. another option is simple mental preparation. take a moment before walking in the door to mentally put on your "submissive clothes". visualize yourself taking off the "power" mantle you wear at work and hanging it up. if your master wishes, you might go to Him when you arrive home, and verbally affirm that you are there for him. "Master, i am home and ready for you." though i do not work outside the home, caring for master's house requires a lot of personal initiative and directing of myself and here recently of my girl. when Master comes home, i greet Him at the door in a formal kneel, and say aloud, "welcome home, Master." this makes me so very aware of my place. talk with your owner about your desire to keep yourself in check, and make sure He is aware of your concern in this area. see if He has any ideas to help you. in service, Master's ~melly 31 Jul 08, 11:00 AM MalyKot US, 3 yrs hi Rayne *waves* I know exactly what you're talking about. I've worked in the military and held leadership roles frequently and it's so hard to switch from "I am an icy bi-atch who has no time for your crap" to the sweet and loving creature Sir likes me to be. The way I've learned to transition is by getting out of my work clothes and into something soft and girly, a pink sundress, a fluffy skirt-- Things Sir likes but I would never ever wear at work because they emphasize my youth and weakness. Then when I greet him I generally get down on knees and put my head in his lap and focus on letting go of all that stress and, if I beg nicely enough, segue into another activity that requires my head to be down there . That's just what works for us, I'm sure for each person it's different. It's still certainly a struggle. I try to meditate and relax on the bus home from work, but a physical change seems the best trigger for me. I can't wait to see everyone's responses because this is definitely something I need to work on! 31 Jul 08, 12:00 PM Ms_Valentine UK, 4 yrs Melens_rayne wrote: Submissives in Positions of Power Cross posted on two other sites for more input So... I just sort of jumped in with both feet. That's how I roll. *snicker* But I am new here and hello and how are ya to all of you. I'm not much for introductions. "Hi! I'm rayne." suits me just fine *grin* In all seriousness, I do have a question. I've heard tell of submissives being placed in positions of power at work and finding themselves in a whole buttload of trouble because they brought that "manager" attitude home. Bossing the masterly man around and stuff. I just got a promotion. I don't foresee myself going on some sort of power trip and trying to get Him to submit to me (out right or by way of manipulation) or something. It's really not in my nature. I'm going to have a hard enough time bossing the people that work for me around. However! I figured I'd start this adventure off right and see if anyone had any suggestions for avoiding this. I don't want to be told to quit before I even get started, you know? Any help is much appreciated! Hello rayne....pleased to meet you...*grins and waves* I have always been fascinated by whether subs/slaves in powerful positions in employment do have problems by bring home the " I am the Boss' attitude into their Ds/Ms relationship. I am always watching out for this to happen with my own sub p as he is the MD of his company and so could easily act in an inappropriate way at home. Luckily for me and him, he doesn't so it has never been a problem. He is not a dominant person even at work but he is efficient, hard working, decisive and well organised. Those things, even the decisiveness are useful to me and to our D/s relationship. He uses the good qualities which have made him successful at work in the home. He is bright, practical, and organises much of our lives for us. He is capable of working hard for a higher cause and for the team, not just for himself. His job has never 'made' or encouraged him to act 'bossy' with me. He just would not act like that to me. He knows he is submissive to me and that submissiveness is constant and necessary for both of us to be happy. I think you may find the promotion will make you feel excited, increase your self esteem and so on and this is natural and would be the same for anyone, sub or Dom. If your submissiveness is an essential part of your nature, it will not be adversely affected by outside things. I think having a good winding down process after work at least to begin with is a great idea.A time when you can talk of your day at work and then gradually put it behind you and embrace the submissive life you love. I honestly don't think you sound as though you will be turned power crazed by promotion. It will hopefully just be the good thing it should be, enhancing your sense of worth and challenging you to stretch yourself (just like being a sub can be). Good luck!!! 31 Jul 08, 7:12 PM Sklavos_mou_Kyriah 3 yrs Hiya Rayne, It seems all the replies offer sound advice. Throughout my working life I had one golden rule; when at work, leave your home stuff at home and when at home leave the work stuff at work. Actually, being a slave should nicely counterbalance the responsible position you now hold at work. My practical tip is, when you arrive back home, stop for a second before you open the front door, adopt a submissive stance and say out loud (but not so loud the neighbours hear you! lol), "I am a slave". It works for me. To be a true slave is to be truly free Slave/Sklavos 31 Jul 08, 9:58 PM MrRolod US(OH), 3 yrs This can be problematic. I speak from experience. My slave/wife is a successful attorney. At work she is all business and has to be quite assertive and aggressive. After a long day of that, she can have a hard time falling into her place when she gets home. We worked out a routine to deal with it. Essencially we take the time to let her talk about her day and vent if needed. Only after getting all that off her shoulders can she take her place at my feet. Just be conscious of it and take the time to clear your head of other things and it will be fine. Good luck. Mr. Rolod 31 Jul 08, 11:23 PM 942-784-782 3 yrs I have a particular adversarial job where I am dealing with confrontation constantly, and have to be very assertive. I agree with everyone else that having routines to help you wind down at the end of the day is important. For me though, it's not always enough. Sometimes I just can't let the day go or disappear the black cloud over my head. On days when I just can't shake it, I usually let my Master know and then ask for a beating. 1 Aug 08, 12:16 AM 000-810-743 US(MN), 7 yrs Greetings, rayne; i'm apparently going to crawl out onto a empty limb and suggest something quite different than the other posts. Instead of compartmentalizing your life ie: i'm a slave/sub, i'm leader of ____ at work, i'm a mother, a daughter, (you get the idea?) integrate them from the view "i am a leader at work for my Master/Owner/Dom's desire". You are at work with His permission, therefore you serve Him every time you keep the people at work in line and assert yourself. You serve Him every time you grocery shop, maintain healthy relationships with family (or not, in some cases) and kneel at His feet. All things benefit Him. Once this mindset is sliding from 'facets' of you to you as a whole, it's not so hard to resettle yourself at the end of the day, as you were never 'not' serving, 'not' submissive. As the head of household when Sir steps out for work, it was very hard for awhile to hand over the reins when He came home. Once i started viewing running the house as a way of serving Him, i no longer felt so punchy when He came home to His rightful place as Owner. If this was way wrong, let me know, ya? i haven't been spot on with posts lately, hope it helps. slave tora, devoted to Sir N 1 Aug 08, 3:33 PM MrRolod US(OH), 3 yrs Tora, Actually I quite like your outlook on the situation and commend you on your success dealing with it. Although it may not work for everyone, I would suggest giving it a try. Mr. Rolod Next page