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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "this is going to drive ya'll crazy" 1 2 this is going to drive ya'll crazy (20) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 30 Jul 08, 1:10 AM Lord_Laraby US(NY), 6 yrs Y! kittenanne wrote: Real Dominants show a certain level of respect for those they meet, reguardless of if they are a submissive or another Dominant. The real Dominants that i have had the privilege of meeting have always had a quiet patience about them. Real Dominants don't demand your obedience instantly. They know that They, just like you are earning trust and respect, for that is key in a real power exchange. Submission is a gift, and Real Dominants know this. Predators like to take advantage of a submissive's willingness to please at the drop of a hat, Real Dominants honor and treasure what is placed before them. slavekitten Could we use these 'one-way'isms a few more times for nostalgia's sake, please. You know I never get enough of them. I also love the term True submissive and Dominance is a gift from God <end sarcasm> Honestly, people would think the "BDSM for Complete Idiots" book has been making the rounds again. Spouting off these internet jabber terms does not show alot of intelligence or capability for independent thought. Respectfully submitted, LL 30 Jul 08, 9:32 PM maranda US(IA), 4 yrs Y! anjuli wrote: What? You lost me... and a few others I suspect. Are you misunderstanding the recommendation that you 'know what you need' in a dom before you go looking? anjuli no, i'm not. i know what i need and also what i want. did not mean to get anyone, lost. 30 Jul 08, 9:36 PM maranda US(IA), 4 yrs Y! Lord_Laraby wrote: Hmmmmm. Just out of curiosity what is your Master Alex doing during this time of seeking other Masters? LL he had stopped talking to me since before the floods in iowa. that was in june of this year. i have tryed to contact him on this, he refuses to respond. so, i just move on to the next, until i find the right fit. it would be nice if The One would just walk up and tell me, "I am The One you seek." mmmm, nice dream huh? 30 Jul 08, 9:43 PM maranda US(IA), 4 yrs Y! obielax wrote: Are you are demanding what you need, or asking for what you want? That's where I'm lost. Obie i know this is bad... ...i don't know how to do either, Sir. so, i guess that would be a genral no. 31 Jul 08, 2:11 AM moncherie US(CA), 3 yrs SirLawrence here.... Slowwwwwww down. It's a big world out there and a little subby girl can eaily get confused and lost. Right now you own yourself and wear your own collar. When you find the right Dom you will have the opportunity to give it (yourself) to him. Chat chat chat and email email email. The jerk Dom's, asshole Dom's and wannbe Dom's will soon learn they aren't going to get a quickie out of you and the more real guys will stick around to see the end of the story. Yeah there are real guys out there who are jerks too but with the field narrowed down it will be easier to make a decision. And watch out for long distance Dom/sub relationships. A real up and front and physical one is hard enough let alone adding 3000 miles to it. Yeah I know waiting sucks but you'll save yourself a lot of heartache. 1 Aug 08, 2:29 AM maranda US(IA), 4 yrs Y! *smiles* thank you, Obie Sir. thank you tons. that was probly the most meaningful thing i have read in forever. 1 Aug 08, 4:19 AM 284-213-544 5 yrs i agree with the others saying take it slow. What i have done in the past is only talk to no more than 3 at a time. Weed them out as far as distance, likes and dislikes, if they are demanding you say certain things or do things before you meet them. After weeding out the "undesirables", you can then add one or two to the list and continue that way. i'm always cautious about those Doms/Masters that wanted to isolate me from friends or family; that were pushing me to call them Master so-n-so before i met them. Ask a LOT of questions. If they don't want to share a lot about their past and their life, question it in a respectful way. Trust doesn't come over night and learning about the other before committing is a two way street. Best of luck to you, 284-213-544 1 Aug 08, 6:51 AM MasterTJs_lil1bebe US(IA), 3 yrs 284-213-544 wrote: i agree with the others saying take it slow. What i have done in the past is only talk to no more than 3 at a time. Weed them out as far as distance, likes and dislikes, if they are demanding you say certain things or do things before you meet them. After weeding out the "undesirables", you can then add one or two to the list and continue that way. i'm always cautious about those Doms/Masters that wanted to isolate me from friends or family; that were pushing me to call them Master so-n-so before i met them. Ask a LOT of questions. If they don't want to share a lot about their past and their life, question it in a respectful way. Trust doesn't come over night and learning about the other before committing is a two way street. Best of luck to you, 284-213-544 bebe agrees, trust is the word, and true that does not happen over night, trust can take weeks or even monthes, bebe found that out the hard way, and lost trust. seems like forever. trust is needed more in this lifestyle, so the D/s can become O/one. than in the vanilla lifestyle. good luck! MasterTJ's_lil1bebe 1 Aug 08, 8:32 PM little_linnet US, 6 yrs maranda wrote: how can i tell the real from the "players"? how do i train my mind, not to mention, my heart not to fall for all the sweet promises of love and protection? Give them enough rope to hang themselves. And then in the words of the immortal saying: "When someone tells you what kind of person they are, LISTEN to them." Krista So we are not supposed to write about our own experiences on the basis that it might make someone else feel inadequate? Sorry, but bollocks! 2 Aug 08, 3:00 AM Dsdove US(MN), 4 yrs There has been a lot of good advice posted, so I will just add one bit: be picky! And I mean really picky: distance, morning vs night person, go out or stay in type, likes the same movies, reads the same books, compliments your kinks. Really. Is exercise important to you? Find someone who shares that. Long to travel? Find someone who wants to visit the same places. If you're getting that much attention you can sort through them. My Master and I struck up a connection in a chat room because of our shared sense of humor. As it turned out we had a lot of things in common (books, spirituality, liking long walks, etc). We had a strong connection from the start, but let things build slowly through long talks, visits and pages and pages of emails. Good Luck! Master's sweet c