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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "vanilla tenderness and feelings" 1 2 3 4 5 6 vanilla tenderness and feelings (57) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. 23 Jul 10, 3:59 PM curious_bina US(TN), 2 yrs 391-117-605 wrote: vanilla tenderness and feelings slave's question, therefore, to anyone kind enough to offer advice is this: do most new slaves struggle with this at the onset? is this something that one can overcome as one grows deeper into enslavement? Has anyone else struggled with these vanilla feelings and found a place in the heart to tuck then safely and provide loving service and pleasure to Master without expectation of vanilla tenderness? thank you any and all for thoughts as i continue to learn and grow in my journey. As long as the Master is truly in control, why does it matter if he has a tender or caring moment with his slave? It doesn't mean his slave can act out of line, or become rebellious. This slave is her Master's "love slave." We both love each other. It doesn't make him weak or in any smaller amount of control if she were just his property-service oriented slave. She is his, he will control her. Love and tenderness doesn't lower a Master. This slave actually doesn't like this opinion and it's what comes to mind every time she sees a "Vanilla Feelings" post. This slave would personally say - at least for her, not for every slave obviously - it's impossible to be in an M/s relationship without an ounce of feeling. At least have a Protector/protected feeling, which vanilla feelings would become involved, as well as vanilla actions. It's impossible for this slave to think of not loving her Master, or being just service, where's the fun in that? -Bina Always the curious one ~ His bina 23 Jul 10, 10:30 PM 232-851-767 UK, 23 mths valhalla wrote: Ranikda, I feel very much better by your fleshed out response. Not that you owed me one. I do appreciate your addressing my concerns over anyone having control over a parent seeing a child. Thank you......v You are welcome valhalla, i sometimes don't explain myself very well and what i want to say comes out all wrong. It has been a problem all my life, which makes it difficult since i am a law student at university at the moment heading into my second year in October. you see Master allows me to do this, that is how kind and understanding He is. If He was a cruel man would He let me do that now that He owns me? i think not. He will never love me and that is fine by me, but i know he cares and that is enough. 24 Jul 10, 5:02 AM pet_ka_MJ CA, 2 yrs curious_bina wrote: As long as the Master is truly in control, why does it matter if he has a tender or caring moment with his slave? It doesn't mean his slave can act out of line, or become rebellious. This slave is her Master's "love slave." We both love each other. It doesn't make him weak or in any smaller amount of control if she were just his property-service oriented slave. She is his, he will control her. Love and tenderness doesn't lower a Master. This slave actually doesn't like this opinion and it's what comes to mind every time she sees a "Vanilla Feelings" post. This slave would personally say - at least for her, not for every slave obviously - it's impossible to be in an M/s relationship without an ounce of feeling. At least have a Protector/protected feeling, which vanilla feelings would become involved, as well as vanilla actions. It's impossible for this slave to think of not loving her Master, or being just service, where's the fun in that? -Bina I feel the same way as Bina, my Master and I have a great love match as well as a great M/s relationship. One does not have to detract from the other. In the big picture of things, how a Master and slave feel about each other should not matter so long as the Master's control over the slave is maintained. I would not label the tenderness or emotional bond we have for each other as vanilla... I would call them basically human. All humans are capable of experiencing these feelings regardless of the type of relationship they are engaged in. When reading these types of posts and there have been a few over the years, I cannot help but think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I believe it was under "social needs" which identified an individual's need for belonging, love and affection. While these needs can be fulfilled through other sources, I would question why these particular needs could not be actively sought within and M/s relationship as well without compromising the overall dynamic. I actually pity the Master who will not engage their slave at this level for fear of loosing control of the dynamic. My first Master was of this ilk. In the end he had no control over me, as he could not engage me on a deeper emotional level. As a result, we both missed out on a lot in our relationship... oh well. Now I have a Master who is not afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve, and I have to say I trust and respect him so much more for allowing me to see this side of himself. With courage you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity. - Keshavan Nair Edited 24 Jul 10, 5:04 AM by pet_ka_MJ 24 Jul 10, 7:18 AM Lord_Uther UK, 6 yrs valhalla wrote: 898-443-818, Ranikda said :: "He allows me to visit my children and grandchildren and if He was not a kind and generous Man He could forbid me." so she obviously recognizes the possibility that he would not allow her to visit her kids.(He allows) Any time there is any kind of either/or or if/then dynamic going on,,you have something over your head. Either I behave,,,or...He won't allow, If I behave,,,then He will allow,,, And I noted that she seemed ok with it. I simply said I find it an abuse, not that she did. There is more to a parental relationship than just the parents side. I know my children, and children of others I know, need and want to be able to see their parent, whether or not is might/should/could be allowed. I am simply looking at if from their view point if nothing else. I may be content with that condition possible over my head, but that doesn't mean it is the best or most healthy for my children, the ones I created. They have needs for their parents at all ages and for any number of reasons. edited to add,,,,,**As a sub, I give myself to my Dom/Master. I do not give Him control over my children. If they were to need me, and He were to prevent it(because of any issue He had with me), that would be controlling their lives. He is not master to them. He is only Master to me. I suppose I would find it very difficult if I wanted to see them and I was prevented by my Master. It is probably a worse case scenario in my mind. Then there are the other times when not seeing them would be a blessing. I know she said her Master was too kind to do that, and that makes me feel better. But as a parent, when it comes to my children, even seeing them? I always make last call. Thank you for commenting back...............v First of all I realise that you & Ranikda have sorted this out, but I've thought of a really good metaphor (while reading this) and I don't want it to go to waste lol So please indulge me while I add my two penneth worth. What I see that Ranikda was saying is that the 'request' to see her children was a mere formality, a respectful way of declaring her intent whilst maintaining the Ms dynamic. Now the all fabulous, what you've been waiting for, metaphor It's kind of how a Government is formed in the UK. When a party gains an outright majority in a General Election, the Leader of that party goes to the Queen and asks permission to form a Government. But this is just a mere formality, the Queen has to say yes. So what happens in that conversation goes a little like this: PM: Good evening Your Majesty, my name's (fill in blank), and I request permission to form a Government. Queen: Permission given. What really is being said: PM: Good evening Your Majesty, my name's (fill in blank), and I'm your new Prime Minister & I'm forming a Government! Queen: Thanks for letting me no. Well, I hope you think that was worth me dragging it back up again. lol My name is Lord Uther, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! 24 Jul 10, 9:30 PM valhalla 23 mths Very Good Lord Uther,,, I enjoyed that metaphor. I can see no problem with the scenario you provided. I believe any sub/slave should show as much respect towards their Dom/Masters as is possible. I have little trouble seeing myself in the same position. I have never yet met a Dom or Master that I knew or thought would prevent any meeting of family. Then again, I do not know many. I have found the people, both Dom/Master and sub/slave in here [M/s D/s] very much more respectful of others feelings and wishes or needs than out there>>>>>>>[VANLIF].I do think it would be a worse case scenario if it were to ever really happen. Like the Queen saying no. You would (I suppose) look at Her for a moment before saying,,"ok,,right then,,I'll be off".. and then going about your business. Thank you ..................v 25 Jul 10, 5:56 AM Lord_Uther UK, 6 yrs Actually I've been in contact with a sub recently who discovered his slave side with his ex and when he moved in his master (deliberate lower case use) forbade him to see any of his friends and family ever again...unsurprisingly it lasted a week. The Queen apparently has a wicked sense of humour and I've always wondered if with a new PM she's ever been tempted to say no, just to see the look on his face lolMaybe she does it to all of them the first time! It would be interesting to see though because every MP, of every party, would suddenly be united in backing the newly elected government, and she would have to abdicate; or the monarchy would be lost. Actually in the last general election, when we were all waiting for what would happen with the hung parliament, we were actually in a situation where the Queen can legally say no. During those couple of days, if a national crisis occurred, eg invasion or total economic collapse, the Queen can could've refused Cameron permission and ordered Brown to stay in office. The reason being that the transition time every government needs would've lost us the country. But it would've only been until a safe transition could occur. Which also reminds us there's always an exception to every situation, and that, 1 time in a billion, there maybe a valid reason for such a refusal. My name is Lord Uther, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Edited 25 Jul 10, 6:07 AM by Lord_Uther 14 Aug 10, 12:07 AM atynesidelad UK, 11 yrs This is an interesting question and one that is pertinent to me because i'm in the situation whereby i met a Domme just over a year ago. We've met several times and speak on the phone at least twice a week. She has made it plain that i will be Her slave (although we will enjoy vanilla activities together) and in Her eyes, at least in private anyway i will be no better than a dog and will probably be trained to become one on command. She is soon to relocate and move in with me and i will become a 24/7/365 slave in my own home. The thing is i feel a lot of affection for Her, most of which i know won't be reciprocated but i still find myself willing to make that committment, i just can't help myself. rob