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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "thinking of leaving" 1 2 3 thinking of leaving (22) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. 25 Jun 08, 5:29 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs "i agreed to be submissive so he would give me a place to live." Your intent/reason for going into the relationship was poor. After you get out of this one (as you should do), use this as a lesson to base the next relationship on and find a better intent. Master Fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Hai! Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 27 Jun 08, 5:05 AM 662-935-655 5 yrs Google the site "Broken Toys" - i believe one of our Masters here runs it -- for abuse victims to see if that might help? But it doesn't sound right - do you have a safe word? do you know what they are? DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE AGREEING TO AND FULLY UNDERSTAND THE COMMITMENt - it's like a contract you have to understand it usually or it is not going to work out. j/L Papa's owned always, stll proud to wear His Collar (and ring): Rest in Peace always Beloved Master and Husband. 28 Jun 08, 7:45 AM lili UK, 12 yrs Y! Hi, I'm not sure how I feel about this thread or the advice running on it. I'd agree that the initial description posted sounds worrying, but I'm not sure that personally I'd feel in a position to comment or to give relationship advice at this level to anyone over the internet (although I'm sure if it could be done effectively there would be a lot of money being made by someone out there.) I probably should add that I'm not saying the advice to seek advice outside of the internet was anything other than sound. What did cause me a furrowed brow was advice similar to this: 662-935-655 wrote: But it doesn't sound right - do you have a safe word? do you know what they are? DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE AGREEING TO AND FULLY UNDERSTAND THE COMMITMENt - it's like a contract you have to understand it usually or it is not going to work out. Do you have to have a safe word for it not to be abuse? (I dont' have a safeword.) Do you have to understand fully what a commitment you are making entering this type of relationship? (I didn't understand fully the commitment or what it really felt to be a slave when I entered my relationship.) Are you really saying these things divide non-abusive from abusive relationships? I think my main worry with the OP is raised in response to them saying that their reason for entering the relationship was needing a place to live (but that's only a worry if that was the only reason.) If I look at the actions described in isolation (i.e. being beaten, used sexually by his Master or others at his Master's request, being made to take cold showers - even the pills (which we do not know are not prescription drugs that are needed.) Do these really constitute abuse? What changes the feel of this post is the description of constant crying and that the OP feels that everything is wrong. But I have to say, I've experienced this too albeit during periods of depression. Does that mean I was abused? Do we really know enough about what's going on to label someone an abuser? Personally I think it best to interject a good deal of caution when giving advice over the internet, especially that which end up labelling someone else an abuser. Lili x "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." (Abraham Lincoln) 28 Jun 08, 2:12 PM SeanT70 9 yrs The trouble with threads like this, starting obviously with the OP, and subsequent posts, is that they're always subjective, and they'll never be any different. But what sticks out for me is one simple thing - if the OP was certain (in supplying the lack of opposing information, that is) that they 'are' being abused, why post on an internet forum? Why not just pick a moment, and exit when they could? Isn't that just plain common survival instinct? Look at it from My angle a second; I do things with My Girl that she just hadn't been through before - ever. When I'd finished with her (initially, she's much more used to how she feels about it all now, and reconciles it better), she used to feel like she'd been ran over by a steam-train and sometimes wondered - A LOT - if I was abusing her. Was I? Absolutely NOT. What I'm saying is simple; the reasons we've been given in the OP are there; place to stay; beatings (disciplining for what I see), sexual use, drugs and the cold showers (etc), are all directive pointers asking for how to get out and where the door is; are we then sure, given that this is subjective, that it's just not a case of getting a it too hot to handle at times, and needing to recover, after full knowledgeable consent may have been given? I mean, hell, the OP could be (not saying they 'are' but in context) a fully junked-up slut needing that fix to cope - we get told the guy 'makes' them take the drug and the balance of blame shifts..see? Change it back, and the OP 'may' actually like recreational use of speed and drunken orgies.. Think about it. They'd need that shower. Can we really be sure that in the apparent slump of depression (and I know I went there too in My slavery), the OP isn't simply looking for a way of handling it better? On the merit of only having subjective information and half the facts it's unfair to call it abuse - My opinion comes from My Girl now knowing that I sure as hell wasn't abusing her. she just needed time, encouragement and advice on how to work her way through what was happening to her because she had very little experience of such things. Whilst the information given in the thread in general is always prudent, it's maybe a touch foolhardy for it to be directed when the facts of the issue aren't in front of us - and they never will be over a typed forum. We may not all agree on the individual methods used, or have grave reservations on how they make 'us' feel as individuals, but we just can't condemn an 'invisible man' for something they may or may not have done. This doesn't, of course, detract from the interest of seeing what happens in the piece. Master's l'il oneŽ(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 28 Jun 08, 2:13 PM 879-717-990 UK, 5 yrs i am in agreement with lili. i had no idea what i was committing to, there was no way i could know. i made this commitment as a submissive, went through an IE process, been collared and have since gotten married to my Master. i have had periods of deep sadness and confusion here. i have attempted to leave several times, although not since i decided that even though i had discovered that this was going to be a bitch of a journey that i was going to succeed no matter what. What i have gained and learned about myself as a human being since becoming His property will always outweigh the sadness i feel at having to relearn who i am going to eventually be in this life. Safe word.. hmmm. i can shout red to get His attention during play, sure. Ultimately though, i have absolutely no choice in what happens here. Power exchange for me equals Power exchanged. Whatever the reason that the OP has left, i think it was the best thing to do because seeking accommodation is no reason to become subservient to anyone. i hope they find safety, shelter and the help they need. slave tsina 28 Jun 08, 3:18 PM 000-489-949 10 yrs It is also just possible that this guy is what he seems to be, and found himself in a situation that he really did not understand, just to secure a place to abode. It would not be the first time someone has done that. For me, at this point I would prefer to err in tolerance, not intolerance, and hope that if he was in the state described, he escapes, and informs us. I know a broken escaped soul forced into slavery when he was young, and I do not wish that state on anyone, I can tell you. 28 Jun 08, 4:20 PM SeanT70 9 yrs Absolutely, but in threads like this, it doesn't hurt to offer a balanced view, which, I find, is what lili had done, especially in light of the post she referred to. My offering was merely suggesting that not everything is as clear as it might seem. Certainly, if the situation 'was' one that needs urgent attention it seemingly 'merits', then I wish the OP'er luck just a the rest here have. I dare say there are many amongst the posters in this thread, and many others besides that have suffered varying kinds and untold abuses over their years and came out the other side to be here and tell their story, living their lives in this 'style' - I'm one of them, which is why I took the view I did in My post. Master's l'il oneŽ(her Rights are Mine in reserve) 28 Jun 08, 4:38 PM SixThreeFive SE, 5 yrs Wow. Thank you lili and thank you Sean (err - I did get your name right, didn't I?). I was going to post something very long and rambling, but I put in my blog instead (if anyone cares). Just... thank you for the insight you gave me. We're given very little information by the OP, which complicates the entire topic. Was this an agreement simply for the OP to have a roof over her head? Can't tell. Much of what is done in M/s-relationships look like abuse to others, even others in the community. I'm quite sure there are things done that I would personally judge as abuse, but that others are perfectly happy with. There are definitely points in my relationship where I felt like I was drowning in misery and I just wanted to get out. Where I thought everything was abuse, that he was unreasonable, etc. Yet, I've come through those moments and through him, I've found happiness again. My Owner once said that the reason a slave cannot leave the relationship is not only because she is made to feel so good being in it, but also because the Owner frequently changes the "line" which she believe he cannot cross, for then it'd be abuse. That is, the amount of misery and (ab)use accepted by the slave before they leave, is controlled by the Owner so that she allows more and more. I hope that made sense. 28 Jun 08, 8:08 PM Blush4Him US, 4 yrs SixThreeFive wrote: Wow. Thank you lili and thank you Sean (err - I did get your name right, didn't I?). I was going to post something very long and rambling, but I put in my blog instead (if anyone cares). Just... thank you for the insight you gave me. We're given very little information by the OP, which complicates the entire topic. Was this an agreement simply for the OP to have a roof over her head? Can't tell. Much of what is done in M/s-relationships look like abuse to others, even others in the community. I'm quite sure there are things done that I would personally judge as abuse, but that others are perfectly happy with. There are definitely points in my relationship where I felt like I was drowning in misery and I just wanted to get out. Where I thought everything was abuse, that he was unreasonable, etc. Yet, I've come through those moments and through him, I've found happiness again. My Owner once said that the reason a slave cannot leave the relationship is not only because she is made to feel so good being in it, but also because the Owner frequently changes the "line" which she believe he cannot cross, for then it'd be abuse. That is, the amount of misery and (ab)use accepted by the slave before they leave, is controlled by the Owner so that she allows more and more. I hope that made sense. That makes sense to me. I think I may have had a hard time understanding the "I can't leave" idea because the OP is male. Thank you for helping me to see another side to it. 28 Jun 08, 9:31 PM SixThreeFive SE, 5 yrs Blush4Him wrote: That makes sense to me. I think I may have had a hard time understanding the "I can't leave" idea because the OP is male. Thank you for helping me to see another side to it. That is interesting (all though probably off topic for the thread), because I didn't register that the OP is male. Yet, out of pure curiosity, why would it be easier for a male to leave, than for a female to leave? I might have misunderstood you, though. Please correct me if I have. Next page