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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Still Struggling..." Still Struggling... (5) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Mon 9 Jun 08, 10:59 PM 890-876-591 UK, 4 yrs i have found that one of the biggest problems that i am having with being submissive is altering the way i think. It's taken a while to work it out, but i think i am struggling because deep down i still think in terms of being autonomous, rather that submissive, so that even when i DO do what i'm told, sometimes it is still with an internal growl about how i'd rather be doing something else. Obviously, this is something i want to address, but W/we're really not sure where to start. i have always been a strong willed person, so handing that control over is proving incredibly difficult, even though it's what i want. Does anyone have any advice on practical things i can do to alter the way i think and react? Sir has been very patient (although increasingly firm) so far, but as has been said so many times on these boards, i am meant to make His life easier, not harder! Any help will be gratefully received XX You gave me a life, now show me how to live 10 Jun 08, 2:57 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs You are the only person who can retrain your brain and the way you think. Thoughts literally set up pathways in your head...the more you think the same thoughts, the more substantial the pathways. So, if you're focused on how rebellious you are and how unsubmissive you are, well, you ARE these things because you keep giving them thought which allows the pathways to form. If you want these pathways to dwindle, you need to create new ones. So, when you have a thought like, "I don't care if you're my Master or not, I don't want to do x," you need to deliberately stop and think exactly what it is you wish you could automatically think instead. Keep doing this again and again and again. Over time, you'll see things change. It's not an overnight process...but it does work. Master Fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Hai! Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10 Jun 08, 3:48 AM Eclectic1 US(ID), 4 yrs In reading your post one of the first things that caught my attention was the use of the word I. When you do that try to change it to we or even better 3rd person. When I am first training someone the first thing I do is require that when they are referring to themselves they refer to themselves as it. Drastic maybe but it helps set the tone for their position. The strong willed have to literally force themselves to concentrate and think about it all the time. Of course that is the point. It may take 3 or 4 weeks before it starts to become habit. Transition from a state of autonomy to total servitude is not made over night and requires effort and continual practice. Hope this makes sense and helps in the idea department. 10 Jun 08, 4:55 AM 842-079-148 CA, 4 yrs Wow...I relate. The man who owns me hasn't quite moved in yet, however, in a few weeks he does. And I kept telling myself that I didn't know whether this whole thing was for me, or not. Given all the wondering, I felt less, and less sure. To the point that I realized that this is something that I've been seeking for 10 years or more. And this is something that I *need* to do, for me. So last week, I designated a closet. And whenever I ask myself "Are you sure this is what you want?" or something similar...I go, and I sit in the closet, in the dark....and I think all pro-submissive thoughts. Honestly, I've only had to do it once, in a week. This, opposed to having those thoughts at least 15 times a week prior to now. Like thoughts attract like thoughts. Set yourself up for success. 10 Jun 08, 5:54 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs Meh....if you want weird, try, "it." I have a friend who has his slaves use this as well as referring to them as such. It's really hard to get used to when they talk. If he wants to designate which "it" he's talking about, there is a numbering system. *cross eyed* I love the man, though! Master Fire ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh Hai! Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 10 Jun 08, 8:33 AM Ms_Valentine UK, 4 yrs 890-876-591 wrote: Still Struggling... i have found that one of the biggest problems that i am having with being submissive is altering the way i think. It's taken a while to work it out, but i think i am struggling because deep down i still think in terms of being autonomous, rather that submissive, so that even when i DO do what i'm told, sometimes it is still with an internal growl about how i'd rather be doing something else. Obviously, this is something i want to address, but W/we're really not sure where to start. i have always been a strong willed person, so handing that control over is proving incredibly difficult, even though it's what i want. Does anyone have any advice on practical things i can do to alter the way i think and react? Sir has been very patient (although increasingly firm) so far, but as has been said so many times on these boards, i am meant to make His life easier, not harder! Any help will be gratefully received XX I sense confusion in you and to be honest I am not surprised. I read your post and your profile and it seems to me that both you and Sir may be unintentionally adding to your unsettled, confused state. Firstly you have to think very carefully as to whether you are really wanting a 24/7 collared and owned lifestyle. You say you do and yet you are finding it so hard to be willingly submissive. I know this sounds harsh of me but it is question worth posing. On your profile, it says you are a switch and Sir is allowing you to find your own fem sub. I can only see this as adding confusion in to a situation which has not yet become settled and ordered. Maybe you should hold back on that and sort out your wants and needs and Sir's before adding a new and possibly destabilizing third party. Also I hate to be pedantic but if you are collared and OWNED as you say you are, then you are already a slave. If you have taken that step, then you are already in a relationship you feel is for life and that you have given up all control. I see confusion as you don't appear to see clearly what the dynamic in your relationship is and this could be where you are feeling unsure. Check out SD Wiki for definitions if you need to be clear on definitions. If you are serious about wanting to be submissive 24/7 either as a sub or a slave ( neither are better than the other, just different in terms of ownership) then take a step back, ask Sir for space and time to develop your submission. It will be a huge project, one which requires your total focus and energy and you may have to take baby steps at first to build a solid base for the subsequent progress to be properly held in place. Nothing as good and wonderful as 24/7 D/s ( or M/s) is achieved easily. It is only when much effort and time is put in does it bear fruit. Good luck with it.