5 May 09, 3:18 AM
BlakLthr
US(OH), 5 yrs
Y!
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The following is part of the slave contract I am now using. I am including this as that you may find this informative. Reference is to Family because I am in a polyamorous relationship. Also note that I am a gay man, and as a Master, I seek a gay male slave.
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slave agrees to submit to such discipline as may be directed –
A)as a result of failure to comply with or failure to perform such reasonable verbal directives / orders,
B)as a result of failure to adhere to the protocol, customs, rules, regulations, or etiquette of slave's position that both MASTER and slave are aware of
C)when a question is put directly put, slave gives a less than honest and informative response
D)any failure to maintain a pleasant and respectful disposition or to maintain a subservient attitude.
E)any failure to fulfill slave's obligations under this Agreement.
F)Further, failure by any slave-in-training / Trainee to participate in and retain Leather Training as provided by MASTER is major grounds for discipline.
Such discipline may include, but is not limited to (in no particular order), -
A)withholding of privileges,
B)postponement of the taking of Personal Days as vacation,
C)temporary reduction, delay, or suspension of Allowance, payment of fine or return of an Allowance already paid,
D)for a slave in a superior status or position, temporary reduction, or suspension of that superior status or position,
E)postponement or withholding of recognition,
F)physical separation from MASTER and / or the Family,
G)psychological separation from MASTER / the withholding of any acknowledgment by MASTER,
H)any manner of physical restraint, to include prolonged bondage, prolonged gagging, etc., by rope, chain, metal instrument, leather apparatus, etc. or being bound to objects as X cross / St Andrew's Cross, bondage bench, bondage chair, Leather sawhorse, etc.,
I)corporal punishment / punishment strokes by any means or combination of means including by hand or by implement (paddle, cane, riding crop, whip, flogger, stinger, etc.), as well as that of any other intentionally intense tactile stimulation, including electronics (10's device),
J)any probing of slave's body cavities, to include gags, sounds, prostate massager, dildos, and plugs, as well as irrigation of bowels by use of enema, and of bladder by use of penile catheter,
K)sensory deprivation, by any physical means to include blindfolds, earplugs, wrappings, etc.,
L)being prohibited from use of furniture to include bed, being forced to sleep on floor, limitation in the use of regular plates and utensils for eating,
M)restriction in external communication by any means, including by phone, text message, email, or postal mail, forced silence or other speech restrictions,
N)confinement, whether in cage, cell, locked box, closet, or other manner,
O)deprivation of food and / or sleep,
P)humiliation, debasement, or degradation, in any setting, public or private, punishment / humiliation uniform,
Q)forced chastity / orgasm denial / prohibition of any sex,
R)punishment sex – with either orgasm denial or required orgasm,
S)forced and formal apologies,
T)interrogation / forced confession,
U)being stripped of all privacy, either to reveal slave to MASTER fully, to reveal slave to other Masters and / or the public including intimate photos of slave, or both,
V)heat – cold punishment / hot wax, chem heat (icy hot, deep heating rub) – cold showers, ice,
W)punishment marks, alteration of appearance – temporary or permanent, by stroke, ink, or any other method, hair removal by trim, shaving, or equivalent means (electric razor, wax, chemical depilatory, etc.), hair removal, total and permanent,
X)temporary or permanent revoking of commission of Leather, or giving up apparel or other possessions of slave (items given up are not returned to slave, may be destroyed or disposed of),
Y)assignment and completion of punishment tasks,
Z)renting, trading, auctioning, or giving, of any service of slave to another Master or any other person,
AA)institute a period of Probation, or extend an existing period of Probation,
or any combination or variation thereof, as MASTER may choose.
As may be further provided elsewhere in this Agreement, MASTER may, as an ultimate punishment, terminate this Agreement, and slave would be required to depart the common home immediately.
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Discipline is not the same as, nor has the same attitude when implementing as that of a "play session", though some elements may be common to both.
Master Robert / BlakLthr
Columbus Ohio USA |
25 Jun 09, 10:58 PM
Ou_pais
US, 5 yrs
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Oh, i wish i'd been active on the boards when this thread initially was posted.
One of the things i've been struggling with lately is what are my needs? Maybe i'll start a new thread about that in a day or two. But in terms of needing punishment--i haven't been "punished" corporally or with any kind of increased restrictions, etc. in a couple years. The most i've gotten have been "looks", "I'm displeased," and a decrease in some of the ways the dynamic functions in terms of His expectations of me. These are all punishment enough, and they are much more *real* to me than a spanking because they are not about what *i* need in order to learn to change but about the way He wants to deal with my behavior. And there have certainly been times when i thought i needed punishment to help keep me motivated or to demonstrate my repentance of errors. While i wouldn't call it a fetish, it did have something to do with my psychological make-up and the way i handle guilt/shame. Bottom line, it felt like something i needed, and so i would punish myself and make myself miserable long after He wanted the issue to be settled.
At this point, however, i can more clearly see that it is not that i need punishment but that i need forgiveness, and the punishment was the way i thought i could earn forgiveness.
Also, i do like that feeling when the physical play really firmly reinforces the dynamic, but i've found that although BDSM is good for that, really any interaction can give that charge if there's enough intensity in it.
dorine_van_Frank wrote:
Punishments
What kind of place is there in your TPE/IE relationship for punishments such as corporal punishments?
I'm wondering, because so many people seem to need punishments or say you can't do without in a relationship like this. What do you think?
As for us, we started our relationship having – amongst other things- something we call a ' punishment fetisch'. The whole idea about punishing and being punished worked in our relationship to feel the power, to feel under his control. Not only a ' play' or ' fun' thing, but very serious, very real. Still- imho- a fetish.
Nothing wrong with that, by the way. I guess many people in D/s or M/s relationship share this ' fetish'. Although i haven't seen many people calling it a fetish like we do.
Over time, this punishments disappeared. i changed as a slave, things got more internal, in my head. i wanted to obey, more than before (not only in theory, but i felt it more and more). Frank on the other hand grew as an Owner. He says that punishments can give a slave control. Some slaves or subs kind of ' demand' it from their Owners.
Still, i'm far from perfect, i'm not doing everything right. But corporal punishments almost never take place. It just doesn't work like this anymore. For Frank and therefore for me. When i do something wrong, we talk about it, trying to find out what went wrong, what stood in the way. Even if he chooses to cane me after that (which sometimes, he does, ad random i suppose), it's not the kind of thing it used to be, it feels different. At first this confused me a great deal, like i wanted to get back to the start, the way things were first. Which is impossible, besides Frank does not desire this, nor would it work.
my point is: punishments are not the only way to control someone or to feel controlled (because that need is still there). In fact, sometimes punishments do not work at all in an IE/TPE situation. At least, that's our experience.
- i realize you could say that every human interaction is full of praise and punishment in a behavioristic kind of way, but i'm talking the more explicit bdsm-kind-of punishments here-
i'm very interested in the experiences and views of other couples.
dorine
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pais
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