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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Losing trust as well as my trust and lust" Losing trust as well as my trust and lust (6) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Thu 15 May 08, 8:41 PM Trainedobedients US(PA), 5 yrs I live from suitcases, travel a lot for work and have my own place in Europe, where I basically live and my place here with Master in the US. He was separated when I met him three years ago and I have been waiting ever since for it to be finalized and us being 24/7 together. His wish and now also mine. But... the divorce is always postponed and so is my life. I am done with the waiting and the broken promises. It takes away from my submissiveness and the trust and lust. Am I waiting in vain? And why does it have such a strong effect on my feelings for him. Am I to impatient? What to do when you are not steering the relationship? 15 May 08, 10:40 PM slave_emma US(OK), 6 yrs Y! Divorces can take a long time to get resolved. Especially, when there are children involved or both parties hate each other. In some states both parents have to take parenting classes before the courts will grant the divorce. When my Master was getting the divorce from His previous wife, He had to pick her up and take her to the parenting classes because she refused to go otherwise. If she still didn't attend parenting classes then eventually there would have to be a court order for her to do so and that would have prolonged the finalization of the divorce. It took about a year for everything to get finalized and that was with mild resistance from His ex-wife. If your Master's wife and your Master can't agree on anything then the divorce process can take along time. I would ask, respectfully, to see the court papers showing what documents have been filed and what the current court ordered time line is. Keep in mind the time line set by the court can change, but it should give you a general idea of where things are. My Master had no issue with showing me these papers, that way I knew I wasn't the woman on the side. best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 15 May 08, 10:56 PM Byrdie US(WA), 6 yrs Y! My boy is still married to a woman who abused him (it was not, I think, a kinky relationship but he has permanent physical damage from it) because she refuses to complete the divorce paperwork. It's even trickier because he's Canadian and she's from the States and I've yet to ask where they got married and thus find out what recourse he has. I love my boy and all, but we both have a few hurdles to overcome before we can seriously talk about any binding commitment. I will not collar or move in with him so long as a hostile has a legal connection to him. Luckily, we haven't been together terribly long and I see no pressing need for a commitment -- he's more likely to bring up his regrets in that arena than I am. *shrug* I agree with slave emma -- do what research you can to find out what exactly is going on and where the holdups are. It's possible that your Master is just as frustrated as you are. Carve your name into my arm / Instead of stressed I lie here charmed - Placebo 15 May 08, 11:48 PM Trainedobedients US(PA), 5 yrs Thank you both, it makes it lighter to know that I am not the only one and that it can take time. I am from Europe and a divorce overseas, unless you have big property and large sums of money to divide can not take this long. Master has been separated for over four years now and he has given her the house i have no clue what the hold up is and have a son myself we both need to move forward and build a steady homestead. But thanks for both your views I somehow needed to hear that from sane, Ds related sources. 16 May 08, 12:11 AM Eclectic1 US(ID), 4 yrs The situation you described is an old and ongoing one. I would say as previously suggested to see the papers, I have a sneaky idea there will be excuses if not outright denial. In these situations resolve your self to the fact that you have done everything possible on your part to make the relationship work. When you feel you can look back and not feel like there is something else you should have done, leave. It won't be easy but you need to cut your loses and get out and move on. Being bitter and angry are normal, but not healthy reactions. Every time you you go there you are letting him control you. Not good. I am sure there are some positive things that happened and maybe even helped you grow, remember those for the benefits. It should also help you define further just what it is YOU need and what you don't want. Kind of turning negatives into positives. Do not settle for less then what you know you need in this life style or anywhere else. Till such time you give control to someone else make your own decisions. There are going to be good men out there, just be patient, listen to your instincts and keep an open mind and eyes. 16 May 08, 1:13 AM 675-820-429 US(VA), 4 yrs when i got my divorce it was my first and only to date we both lived in the same state and where not living as husband and wife for about 4 and a half years maybe 5 years, anyway i wanted a divorce, but couldn't afford it, plus if i filed i'd put i was abused and knew he wouldn't sign that, so i was married 6 years or so total and he was the one who filed papers on me. Since he wanted to remarry and he filed on the fact i left him and i didn't know i needed to sign them, so it held it up, i would have signed had i understood i needed too since i wanted out and we had no kids or stuff to spilt since i took what i wanted when i left. So, yes it can take time and be held up for a lot reasons, my divorce was given by the court because i didn't go and fight it, but still took like months after he filed on me for leaving him simply because i didn't sign the papers 'cause didn't know i had too and i was in my twenties then, so has been awhile and laws change. I'm sure the laws in other states and countries are different this was Virginia where i got my divorce though. My Master is not divorced yet, but hasn't lived with her in a year or so, but they don't agree on much, so i'm like you kinda waiting, but do plan to move in with Him, so kinda not in the same boat as you are there. But, she is not in the same state my Master lives in nor am i yet, but i would say before i throw all the love and relationship away i would find out what really is going on, i talked to my Master about His although papers haven't been filed yet i know all about why and Master deos plan to get divorced and i know all about it too, so think that will help you deside what you need to do next. Maybe that's cut your loses as the last poster said, but i think that only you and maybe your Master can say that, but i can't say i haven't thought of cutting my loses because i have, but i just keep asking Master what's going on and then i don't, so helps me, but what helps me may not help you, so that's why i say only you can make the choice to leave. tracey Master reads and approves all posts she writes and may edit or delete if possible any post she writes, she has no secrets from her Master and is totally honest with Him and has no need to lie to her Master. Like wise her Master Has seen her profile and approved it. 16 May 08, 7:36 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs Things that affect divorce timing: What state they are filling in (in my old state, we were required to be physically separated for a year before we could even file). Children, especially if there's a custody battle. This can take YEARS. Money, especially if there was a prenuptial agreement. When multiple lawyers get involved, this can take an eternity. If you really want to know what's up, you're going to have to get a lot more information from him. Then, you can do research to see if what he says is likely. But, in the end, if this is affecting you in such a negative way, does it really matter WHY? If you are feeling neglected and he won't or can't meet that need, then perhaps the relationship isn't healthy for you. It's ok to say, "I love you, but you are toxic for me." Perhaps you might leave the door open for another attempt at a relationship once the divorce is settled. Master FIre "Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted *air guitar*