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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Emotional Safety" Emotional Safety (7) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board. Thu 17 Apr 08, 12:59 AM Dsdove US(MN), 4 yrs This is adapted from an essay I wrote for my Master about what "safe" means to me. He asked me to post it here in hopes it might help others in their exploration of themselves. I would welcome your experiences and comments in reply. "I need to feel safe" was a refrain of mine two years ago when I was leaving my (now) ex-husband. It was something that had not been important to me for quite a while. I'd forgotten how it felt to be safe. In this case, being safe means emotionally safe. And not just feeling emotionally safe _with_ someone, but having the feeling of being _kept_ safe from the rest of the world. I need someone with whom I can drop my defenses and feel that I'm not going to be judged harshly for who I am, for my actions, etc. I have very strong defenses, but being strong all the time is very tiring. I need a haven. After 12 years of (vanilla) marriage I had realized that I was no longer emotionally safe. I had to find a place where my own bed was a safe place, where I didn't need to always keep part of me on guard against some barb or comment, some perceived failure or mistake. For the next two years I made my own safe spaces. Then I found my Master. He makes me feel safe in ways I didn't know were possible. Master has wrapped me in his protection--physical, emotional and spiritual. He gives me a safe base to face the world from. And I feel that there is no part of me too dark, too silly, too needy or too illogical for him to see. I can be myself in a way I have _never_ been with anyone. He has freed me to express parts of myself that I have always kept hidden, some of them even from myself. He gives me a haven not only from the world, but also from my own self censorship. This is one of the things I have gained in becoming a slave. Master's sweet c 17 Apr 08, 2:51 AM Lord_Michael US, 4 yrs Are you sure you're not My slave, Cav? <soft smile> Lord Michael Owner of darkslave: 813-692-956 17 Apr 08, 4:29 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs To me, emotional safety is when I can be transparent and vulnerable with a person and trust them not to damage me in such a way that I will not recover. Master's need to feel safe, too. Master Fire "Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted *air guitar* 17 Apr 08, 5:04 AM cordelia US, 4 yrs This is a beautiful expression of your inner emotional workings. I'm so happy for you that you have that safety now. Some people search for that their whole lives and never find it. Congratulations! 17 Apr 08, 10:41 AM 595-898-539 4 yrs Cav_MN, congrats on your success! my Mistress and i both agree that emotional safety is paramount in a healthy D/s relationship. Accepting enslavement required a giant leap of faith and trust from me. It has been over a year already and i have yet to have a single regret about my decision to become a slave. As a natural submissive, i find enslavement to be the most loving and trusting kind of relationship- before my enslavement, i was an unfaithful boyfriend. When Melanie, my then live-in girlfriend, discovered my offending behavior i was given a simple choice: leave immediately and break off the relationship, or enter a slave contract as Melanie's slave. To prevent any sort of disrespect and disobedience from every happening again, my Mistress started training me right away. As Her slave, Melanie sought to obtain absolute control over me so i would thus remain ever faithful. i was introduced to my slave collar, CB-3000 and buttplug w/ locking harness that very same day. my new Mistress got things started quickly- She informed me that i would be using all three devices 24/7. The slave collar and CB device was no big deal, but anal training was a bit of a shock to my system. Fortunately, my Mistress instructed me to devise a systematic training schedule lasting about two months so that i would be able to comfortably wear the plug all the time. Wearing these things helps remind me of my status and inferiority to Mistress. i am forever grateful that my Mistress accepted me back after what i had done. i still loved Her even though i f&^$%#& up really badly, yet i chose to be Her slave. It's been just over one year now, and i have yet to have a second thought about staying with Mistress. Mel's Slave Edited 17 Apr 08, 5:32 PM by 595-898-539 17 Apr 08, 6:36 PM IntentionalCruelty US(IL), 4 yrs Lord_Michael wrote: Are you sure you're not My slave, Cav? <soft smile> Lord Michael Owner of darkslave: 813-692-956 I know CavMN isn't your slave, Michael. she's Mine. Will Whip for Sex. 17 Apr 08, 10:19 PM Eclectic1 US(ID), 4 yrs I think your Master set the bench mark for others to aspire to. 17 Apr 08, 11:12 PM phantasm 4 yrs Cav, your Master was so right to instruct you to 1. write the essay, and 2. to post it here in TSR. A very beautiful way to describe your inner weaknesses and needs. I can relate very much to what you have said. sasha