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	TSR : Web boards : M/s D/s O&P : "Is This Appropriate Behavior for a Slave?" 1 2 3 Is This Appropriate Behavior for a Slave? (29) This post is on the M/s D/s O&P web board (moved from Internal Enslavement). Tue 1 Apr 08, 1:54 AM slave2master US, 5 yrs Question for both Masters and slaves: Do you believe there are times when it is appropriate for a slave to suggest that her Master make improvements in certain areas? (especially in regard to trust, honesty, and openess). Or is this totally out of line for a slave? Is a slave out of line to suggest additional Master training? 1 Apr 08, 2:21 AM 427-222-624 5 yrs slave2master wrote: Is This Appropriate Behavior for a Slave? Question for both Masters and slaves: Do you believe there are times when it is appropriate for a slave to suggest that her Master make improvements in certain areas? (especially in regard to trust, honesty, and openess). Or is this totally out of line for a slave? Is a slave out of line to suggest additional Master training? This is, in this one's humble opinion, only okay if you are asked first by your Master. Otherwise, it's extremely out of line. (With the exception of abuse-oriented problems) "Sometimes you wake up, sometimes the fall kills you, and sometimes when you fall, you fly.." 1 Apr 08, 3:34 AM MasterMattsslave CA, 4 yrs Y! i think it is prefectly reasonable to ask this. my Master is as new to this as i am, and of course the relationship is only fair and even when both O/our heads are in the game. i agree that being polite is important. "Because being a slave is a daily struggle to improve oneself, being a Master should also require work and dedication", adds my Master. nadia *Edited to add: If you withhold the fact that you think things need to change or need to improve, you're not being honest with your Master or yourself. W/we use honesty and communication as the foundation for O/our relationship. If Master knows i have something important to say, He will always let me speak. "I will love and protect you forever. you are worth any risk. you are not broken" (Master Matt) Edited 1 Apr 08, 3:41 AM by MasterMattsslave 1 Apr 08, 3:36 AM Dsdove US(MN), 4 yrs If the relationships has built into it "check in" times, that would be an appropriate time to bring something like that up. It would have to be very respectful, of course and presented in a positive way. eg I think X would be even better in our relationship (make our relationship stronger, etc) if we worked on Y. The other case I think it would be appropriate is if the area needing improvement was impeding the slaves ability to serve. In which case it could be brought up under the "transparency" portion of many slave's standing orders. This would have to be couched in terms of the slave's distress, not as a request to the Master. If the Master doesn't follow up, then the slave is SOL. I suppose you could also petition the Master as a favor if it is a particular technique you want to try or activity you'd like to participate in. Of course, YMMV. In my relationship with Master I would be able to bring it up freely as Master and I both acknowledge we are still learning and growing in our roles. Plus I am very, very tactful Master's sweet c 1 Apr 08, 3:40 AM 692-898-449 US(MO), 4 yrs Y! personally, and i can only speak for me...i am allowed to ask any question as long as i do so respectfully. Now that being said, Master always has the right to refuse to answer any question i ask. He and i have talked about my asking questions, and there are several reasons he may not answer. It may be that he feels it is not a valid question, it may be a question that he has answered previously and he will remind me of that, or it may be that he feels it is none of my business. But i am always allowed to ask. 1 Apr 08, 4:11 AM kaitlyn 4 yrs 427-222-624 wrote: This is, in this one's humble opinion, only okay if you are asked first by your Master. Otherwise, it's extremely out of line. (With the exception of abuse-oriented problems) I'd say that This is based in truth, I think it needs to be expounded on a bit, but in base it's right. I mean, in my experience that is, part of a Master's duties is to ask. And in that case I think it is rude to come out of the blue with problems, instead, wen they are being dealt with bring them up. Many Masters and Doms have their property keep journals, which I have found to be extraordinarily helpful in the past. Then, they can go through and read the feelings/thoughts/reactions their slaves and subs are having in reaction to everything. Then, they have the opportunity to make a more informed decision based on their understanding and that of their slave's. If they feel so inclined they can then change their behavior. But it take out the "pushiness" that can sometimes arise in these situations, thus making the Master feel attacked and the slave feel uncomfortable. I for one know that I find it very nerve racking to come to a Dominant with problems because I don't want to come across as being pushy or as if I'm trying to tell them what to do when it is obviously not my place. 427-222-624, please forgive me if I have misrepresented what you meant in any way. If I did so it was completely unintentional, this is my expounding on a statement you made and I am in no way trying to but words into your mouth. respectfully, kait “Fear may induce the show of submission; but love only can truly subjugate a haughty spirit.” 1 Apr 08, 5:04 AM slave_emma US(OK), 6 yrs Y! My Master and I have open-communication in O/our relationship. This means that at times I may suggest something in a respectful manner. Part of building a healthy relationship is having that trust and honesty. Openness allows both of U/us to talk about the random parts of O/our respective days. My Master doesn't hide things from me and I don't hide things from Him. Being open, even in the face of criticism, is an important part of building the relationship. Everything in life is relative and throughout life individuals change, some for the better and some for the worse. Each person, slave or Master/Mistress, can grow from the ideas put before them by others. There will be the ideas for growth that are rejected, but that is all part of finding ourselves. Further, even if you give someone a suggestion or an idea and it is rejected; it was still worth the time. Nothing in life can ever improve without there first being an idea. best wishes, slave emma Master Howard's little girl 1 Apr 08, 5:54 AM LunaChick US(TX), 8 yrs slave2master wrote: Is This Appropriate Behavior for a Slave? Question for both Masters and slaves: Do you believe there are times when it is appropriate for a slave to suggest that her Master make improvements in certain areas? (especially in regard to trust, honesty, and openess). Or is this totally out of line for a slave? Is a slave out of line to suggest additional Master training? The number one thing on my to do list is always have Michael's back. Give him the benefit of my insight, intuition and intelligence (even if it may not be something he wants to hear!). Now, I realize, our relationship is not structured the way others are. But it works for us. That being said, the areas which you mention; trust, honesty and openness, are human qualities not Master qualities. If he is not being open and honest and trustworthy, a M/s dynamic is going to be difficult (for me it would be impossible). If you are not feeling that you can trust him, on any level, I would think you need to either express that or resign yourself to the fact that you will not know when he is being honest. Liza In loving and humble service and slavery to Michael 1 Apr 08, 10:12 AM masterfiremaam US(WV), 5 yrs In my household, mine are welcome to suggest things to me, appropriately put. Approaching me with, "I saw this and I thought you'd be really interested," works a lot better than, "Your skills suck. You need to do this." The latter might be true, but the more diplomatic one might work better. However, you can combine the two. But, this is MY household and not yours. You need to ask your Master if you are allowed to make suggestions...and in what manner. Only he/she can tell you. Master Fire "Be excellent to each other." - Bill and Ted *air guitar* 1 Apr 08, 12:02 PM MasterJRC HK, 4 yrs Y! slave2master wrote: Is This Appropriate Behavior for a Slave? Question for both Masters and slaves: Do you believe there are times when it is appropriate for a slave to suggest that her Master make improvements in certain areas? (especially in regard to trust, honesty, and openess). Or is this totally out of line for a slave? Is a slave out of line to suggest additional Master training? From one who is old, gray and grumpy (OGG)and one who has been around the block maybe one too many times, if my pet did not point out my short comings, I have chosen the wrong girl. Thankfully, I chose the right girl. I learn, I grow. John Edited 1 Apr 08, 12:03 PM by MasterJRC 1 Apr 08, 12:57 PM annieanne UK, 5 yrs Yes I believe it is. Saying that whenever I have mentioned things it has fallen on deaf ears!! Next page