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	TSR : Web boards : Internal Enslavement : "Living a Double Life - Free and Enslaved - Help Please!" Living a Double Life - Free and Enslaved - Help Please! (8) This post is on the Internal Enslavement web board. Wed 25 Apr 07, 6:37 PM 427-222-624 5 yrs Hi there, this is the first thread i've posted here, but i'm glad i thought to do this, because i've been having a really hard time with this lately and maybe S/someone here could help me out.. Master and i live about 40 minutes away from each other. Master is moving out this summer, but currently lives with His family. i currently work full time supporting myself, and must continue to do so until the time comes (hopefully within the next 2 years) when W/we can marry. W/we can't move in together beforehand because my parents have a big moral issue with that and would throw a parental fit. =P Anyways, as far as my problem goes, as Y/you can see, i'm having to lead a sort of a double life here. i have to be strong and independent in order to support myself and keep a steady job, but at the same time, i have a Master and am an owned slave. As Y/you can probably imagine, this can get mentally confusing for me. i keep accidentally acting submissive when i should be taking action in the workplace, and then act like i'm an equal to Master, contradicting and arguing with Him, without even thinking. i have such a hard time remembering my place when i keep having to go back and forth all the time! Does A/anyone have any advice for me? i really could use some help.. Thanks. =) Edited Wed 25 Apr 07, 6:38 PM by 427-222-624 25 Apr 07, 6:49 PM 631-535-398 US, 6 yrs Y! Welcome and yes i was in a very similar situation, still am in fact. my Master and i now live about 20 minute drive apart but can't live together full time because He lives with His mother and takes care of her and i live with my mother. All 4 of U/us have severe medical issues. Also He is poly, has a vanilla fiance (yes she knows about me and approves ) so i cannot get married to Him or live full time with Him. Next year W/we will be living together half the week while the other half the week is spent with His fiance. i also have a very hard time switching between being submissive and independent. Especially at first. i talked to my Master about it when W/we realized that was what was happening, and He did what He could to help me. First off i have slave names, and He does not call me by my given name unless it's meant as a treat or to be vanillay love time. Also in the beginning He had me doing third person speech with Him. The difference in how i talked helped put me automatically into a different mindset. Another is wearing different clothing when around Him, lots of touches He does that remind me of my submission to Him (such as He grabs ahold of my collar a lot and just holds it). One other thing He does is get aggresive with me (His words). He gets very commandy and tells me what to do and not do and has "looks" that He gives if i get a bit out of line. Feel free to memo me privately if it's allowed by your Master if you want to talk more. (i'm 2 years into my relationship with my Master). slave giolla Love bites, love bleeds. It's bringing me to my knees. 25 Apr 07, 7:30 PM slave2master US, 5 yrs Lucianslittleone wrote: Hi there, this is the first thread i've posted here, but i'm glad i thought to do this, because i've been having a really hard time with this lately and maybe S/someone here could help me out.. Master and i live about 40 minutes away from each other. Master is moving out this summer, but currently lives with His family. i currently work full time supporting myself, and must continue to do so until the time comes (hopefully within the next 2 years) when W/we can marry. W/we can't move in together beforehand because my parents have a big moral issue with that and would throw a parental fit. =P Anyways, as far as my problem goes, as Y/you can see, i'm having to lead a sort of a double life here. i have to be strong and independent in order to support myself and keep a steady job, but at the same time, i have a Master and am an owned slave. As Y/you can probably imagine, this can get mentally confusing for me. i keep accidentally acting submissive when i should be taking action in the workplace, and then act like i'm an equal to Master, contradicting and arguing with Him, without even thinking. i have such a hard time remembering my place when i keep having to go back and forth all the time! Does A/anyone have any advice for me? i really could use some help.. Thanks. =) i, too, live a double life, and know exactly how you feel. It gets confusing switching from one person to the other. i wish i had some advice to offer, but i struggle with it too. i will check back and read any advice you may get. i hope it gets better for you! 25 Apr 07, 8:27 PM SgtRok 5 yrs £ Lucianslittleone wrote: . i have to be strong and independent in order to support myself and keep a steady job, but at the same time, i have a Master and am an owned slave. As Y/you can probably imagine, this can get mentally confusing for me. i keep accidentally acting submissive when i should be taking action in the workplace, and then act like i'm an equal to Master, contradicting and arguing with Him, without even thinking. i have such a hard time remembering my place when i keep having to go back and forth all the time! My best advice is … COMMUNICATE. YOU have NEEDS … have YOU verbally communicated them to YOUR Master? MOST slave have an overwhelming NEED to submit … BUT … there ALWAYS seems to be something in their subconscious mind that prevents them from GIVING ALL of themselves to their Master … mental as well as physical. To TRULY be POSSESSED by your MASTER, you MUST surrender ALL of YOUR mental reservations to HIM … either voluntarily or HE MUST TAKE THEM FROM YOU. Holding onto some of those "mental reservations" COULD be causing the transition problems. Now, HERE is where the COMMUNICATION is REALLY needed. Your Master NEEDS to "re-conquer" you EVERY time that the two of you are separated. Maintaining a M/s relationship is relatively easy when in each other's presence 24/7. When separated, LIFE tends to get in the way. YOU must find a way to communicate YOUR NEED to be "re-conquered" to your Master. The transitioning back and forth between M/s and vanilla is difficult for a seasoned M/s couple. Someone new to the lifestyle can have a real difficult time of it. YOUR Master can HELP you with this "transitioning" by forcefully reclaiming his position as Master each time. In THAT manner, YOU will be able to function in the vanilla world relatively easy and HE can BRING you back into your slavery each time. There IS a lot of intensity involved, and a significant amount of work on Master's part, but OVER TIME --- the "transitioning" problems will subside. YOU just need to be able to inform Master that YOU NEED HIM to do it for you. I find that a slave can get just about ANYTHING she WANTS … IF she BEGS well enough. I wish you well and hope that this advice can serve you and your Master. SgtRok 25 Apr 07, 8:59 PM lili UK, 12 yrs Y! Lucianslittleone wrote: Anyways, as far as my problem goes, as Y/you can see, i'm having to lead a sort of a double life here. i have to be strong and independent in order to support myself and keep a steady job, but at the same time, i have a Master and am an owned slave. As Y/you can probably imagine, this can get mentally confusing for me. Hi (and welcome to TSR), i think it's a common misconception that it is impossible for a slave to hold down a profession that requires them to be assertive, a team leader, a decision maker etc. It's my experience that these things are not at all incompatible. i've worked in a profession that's required all of those things for almost 22 years and although it is difficult to "switch off" from work at times, that hasn't ever interfered with Tanos's authority. What i would suggest to you is that you work out rituals that help you to switch your mindset from "work" to "home". That might be something as simple as changing into less "professional" clothing when you get home, to repeating some kind of mantra to yourself (or your Master if he prefers.) Finding ways to refocus is important as you do need to centre your thoughts away from work and onto your Master (visualisation and meditation techiniques may help with this.) Tanos and i often travel home from work together and we use this as a time to talk about our day so that when we do reach home that is done with. Kneeling to remove his shoes for him when he comes home is a great (and quick) way to bring my submissive nature to the fore. Over time you can set up associations that can switch your mood. The sense of smell is extremely potent at doing this. Try something like only wearing one kind of perfume when you are with your Master (and at no other time.) Then when you need to switch into "slave space" all you need do is spray on that particular perfume. You may be suprised how effective this technique can be. Burning incense works wonderfully for me when i perfom rituals, and over time i've found the process of reaching a deep state of meditation is shortened dramatically when i burn certain combinations of incense. i'd strongly recommend encorporating a specific (and pleasant) aroma into any submissive rituals you develop, but you can use any ritualistic behaviour (of course ritual is only ritual if you repeat it consistently ) Hope this helps a little, lili x "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." (Abraham Lincoln) 25 Apr 07, 9:12 PM 554-362-101 5 yrs lili wrote: What i would suggest to you is that you work out rituals that help you to switch your mindset from "work" to "home". That might be something as simple as changing into less "professional" clothing when you get home, to repeating some kind of mantra to yourself (or your Master if he prefers.) I was going to say the same thing. When I was still working, as soon as I got home I was to find Him, even if meant hiding out in the bedroom away from the kids, kneel at His feet while changing out of the "professional" clothes and He would talk to me, just simple words, small questions "what are you", "who owns you" type things. The ritual, having to answer, all of that helps your mind adjust. We still do that when He gets home from work(when possible). I kneel down and take off His shoes, I help Him change clothes, He still asks me those same questions. It not only helped me switch the mental gears, but it also helps Him to do the same thing. Good luck. His_kaya Under His Hand 25 Apr 07, 9:23 PM 427-222-624 5 yrs Good grief, i did not expect so many replies so soon! Thank Y/you all so much! =) i'm definitely coming here again the next time i need advice. ^_^ i'll be seeing Master again on thursday, and i'll show Him this thread (a virus wiped His ISP# so He can't access the internet from His place). Thank Y/you all again for so many words of advice! ^_^ 25 Apr 07, 11:59 PM 544-282-976 US(NJ), 5 yrs hmmmm....i too have to work and support my children on my own, however, i am ALWAYS my Master's slave. i do a good job and am strong and take care of my bills and budget and work needs because my Master wishes it so. He wants me to be able to take care of myself. He never wants me to depend on Him so much that if Je disappeared tomorrow (heavens forbid) i would be able to go on. it may sound morbid to think about, but...in our field of work we see death a lot. also, it makes Him proud when i accomplish a difficult task on my own. He often encourages me and even has to give me Orders for me to get some things done, but that is just the way He works. He gets me to do what He knows it good for me. i am always submissive. even in my strength. Master Mike's precious 26 Apr 07, 1:17 AM masterofslaves23 US, 5 yrs Y! hello master jason here i also have to live a double life because my family and some of my friends dont know and understand about my lifestyle choices but my best advice and some may not agree with me but my advice is dont hide who you are if your master says to then ofcourse do so but if he dont want it then dont